Hexis

Meditation Dread - Please Help :(

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Meditation Dread - Please Help :(

Hello everyone
 

I'm seeking the advice of someone more experienced than myself regarding meditation and connecting to ones higher self.

 

To clarify here, I'm not new to meditation but this is a new problem.

 

Over the last couple of years I suppose I've experienced a kind of rejection of my spiritual self, as far as thats possible.  I've experienced some trauma (who hasn't) including the death of my sister and a lot of family problems. The love of my life was diagnosed with a life threatening disease a few months ago and I suppose I started to lose hope and reject the fact that we are Creators.

 

Currently it feels as if all of my chakras are completely blocked. The only one I feel some slow movement in is my heart chakra.

 

I'm trying desperately to start a process of healing, to work with my chakras and to reconnect with my higher self. Ive never felt more disconnected and lost in my life.

 

The only way I really know how to do this is through meditation. The problem I'm having is that for the past few months every time I try to meditate I'm consumed by a feeling if overwhelming dread. It feels like I'm sinking. All I want to do is scream or run away. This seems to happen regardless of the meditation type. Why? :( I just don't understand.

 

I've tried to just accept the feeling and allow it. It doesn't help at all. It continues to worsen until I can't bear it anymore. I've tried to question it and discover the source and it helps nothing. I've tried journalling and a few of Teals processes.

I've tried this repeatedly for months and it just isn't improving.

 

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what's wrong with me and I can't deal with feeling this way anymore. What should I do?

 

 

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it is really hard to explain the higher self and how to access it. let me think. The ego is so strong it can create a false higher self and almost create a file of all these spiritual knowing, but the ego doesn't actually believe it, it just exists in a file in their brain and it thinks its talking to the higher self, but its really just accessing this limited file of information you got from someone else, the higher self is a knowing, its like question, then answer right back. when people try to ask these question the answer is usually I don't know, so that's exactly what they get. what the ego believes and what the higher self knows are like 2 totally different perspectives, the higher self knows it can heal and this is all illusion and you are in this body, and the ego could be a atheist and then its disconnected, you cant disconnect, but the ego took over and any spiritual experience or crazy synchronicity will just be denied by their egos "knowing" like we just die, I am this body and that's it, it goes black. That is wrong, but how can I convince your ego its wrong? I can't, you have to experience your higher self. I could say some laws but if the ego took over it will deny everything I say. the ego can think you are lying to yourself and people believe in spirituality to make their lives feel better, its peace of mind like religion is.

We are multidimensional beings in a human body, we are powerful as fuck, we have access to 5d 6d 7d consciousness that changes the laws down here and you can move shit with your mind, not talk, your new language will just be vibration. This is an illusion, but humans are currently in 3d consciousness so those are the only rules they have access to, we as a whole are supposed to evolve past a 3d consciousness, some are already past 3d, but whatever it takes to wake you up to move to the next level of consciousness that's what it will take, earth is evolving and doesn't care if humans evolve with it, they have free will, but we are supposed  to evolve, its hard to believe with all of these distractions in life and brainwashing, but that's what's going on, and any illness isn't a death sentence, its just if you aren't going to evolve with the earth you wont make it to the new one, it sounds harsh, but that's the truth. and this sounds crazy as hell, but if you watch tv and that becomes your reality, its hard to have access to this other part of your soul and consciousness and reality, non of this is on tv and will never be on tv, but its happening. humans have to evolve with the planet or they wont make it. Everyone has free will, but that's what's happening in reality, real reality, I don't watch tv so I don't know what the fuck is going on in 3d, but you get a inner calling and move up in consciousness and you can be next to people in be in a completely different dimension with different laws in it literally, its a individual thing, you cant force anyone to change, you can only change yourself, and yes this is all real. 10:10 is the time.

Edited by Alex7

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l'm really sorry for your lost and all the pain in your life now. My advice will be to stop the meditations for a while. Try to put all your focus on how to heal and help the one you love. Try to pray for healing don't loose hope. Tell the Universe or God how angry you are for the situation cry pray and wait for an answer. I heard once that we don't have to worry because God can deal with our anger. However don't focus on that anger just use it to connect with God and wait for an answer. It might come as a feeling of comfort or as a wisdom but you need to have patience and never give up. You are not alone.

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Hi Alex7. Thank you for your detailed response. I hope that one day I will fully understand what you're explaining. Maybe if I can change myself, one day I will. This is what I'm trying to do. It sounds like you've had some interesting experiences.

Hi Loana. Thank you for responding as well. That's perhaps one thing I haven't tried. I don't know if I believe in God but perhaps there's some higher power out there still. I really battle to cry but maybe the answer will come through all of the pain and unpleasantness somehow, if I send it out there. I just wish there was more that I could do to get there.

The problem should somehow be a match to its possible solution right?

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1 hour ago, Hexis said:

Hi Alex7. Thank you for your detailed response. I hope that one day I will fully understand what you're explaining. Maybe if I can change myself, one day I will. This is what I'm trying to do. It sounds like you've had some interesting experiences.

its good to listen to awake people on YouTube or if you know them in person, usually the people that are around you you end up adopting their way of thinking about beliefs subconsciously, when all this other stuff is real, its just you have to be a match to it, and the people giving you this information. your body is constantly communicating with you, like if you eat something hot then your stomach hurts or you eat cheese and you get diarrhea, that's is your body communicating with you, even something being very attractive to you is your emotions communicating with you which is your higher self(emotions) there is a reason you find something so attractive like a magnet, pay attention to that, its your soul like pointing it at, like this is you! whatever it is, everyone is on a different path. to become conscious you have to express every emotion, you will cry and be in like 2 days of just feeling that emotion you've been trying to suppress, your child self is almost like "finally! I can allow this emotion in me to flow and not be suppressed like it was in the past, so just let emotions flow, and its normal to cry and feel every emotion, it has to flow in the moment or it becomes trauma from being suppressed as a kid from you parents tell you to shut up or something, just allow all emotions to flow, even crazy rage, just don't hurt anyone lol.

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41 minutes ago, Alex7 said:

 just allow all emotions to flow, even crazy rage, just don't hurt anyone lol.

Lol! So, this seems to be the key :) thank you, online spiritual messengers! Let us see how we fare on the crazy, crying, praying, raging path (that harms none, of course)

Need to find my way back to anything at all that seems attractive or has that pull. It's been a few years.

Thanks guys!

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3 hours ago, Hexis said:

Lol! So, this seems to be the key :) thank you, online spiritual messengers! Let us see how we fare on the crazy, crying, praying, raging path (that harms none, of course)

Need to find my way back to anything at all that seems attractive or has that pull. It's been a few years.

Thanks guys!

the cool thing is your higher self will tell you who you are, because this is a mirror and everyone is an aspect of you, what annoys you in other people you don't like in yourself and what you find attractive in people and love in them is a suppressed trait in you. every characteristic you find attractive in a person is the real you, and everyone is different so the outside world cant tell you who you are, this attraction you feel towards a personality type is you, we are just pretending not to be our true selves. When you get your connection to your higher self the love flows in you and your blue print is just shown to you by this attraction you feel on the outside which is just the suppressed true version of you, most are not, that whole you cant love someone else if you don't like yourself is true. because you got the love from the inside, from your higher self. what out of alignment people say to you or how you should be is just them talking to themselves because they aren't being their true self, it isn't personal and your higher self/source gives you full permission to be your blue print, so you don't need love from the outside, its on already and you have this source perspective for real, not just a theory in your head(ego) :D. you see everyone as a kid even if they are 20 50 80 years old, age means nothing there is this inner kid in everyone, which is the higher self, and they are just suppressed, they weren't allowed to be their true self, so it got suppressed. never compare and you have full permission to be you already, just in a world where conditional love is a thing we get out love from other people and not from inside us like it was intended to be, but our parents didn't know, but now we know!

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