Guest wildheart

Need for connection.

9 posts in this topic

Guest wildheart

After years using substances- food, pot, alcohol, television and internet to meet a subconscious longing for true, deep connection I am ready to turn in the direction of it. In every relationship I have had, my main challenge was that my partner doesn't give me the affection, attention and quality time I so desperately long for. I realize I hold a belief system that adheres to the idea that I cannot have this need met, and to ask for it is asking too much. Growing up this was also the case, as I have pieced together through years of disordered eating, depression and flat out frustration. After watching Teal's last video I feel i must ASK my partner to meet this need for me, as I long for his connection. My question then is, how can I begin to conceptualize ways my partner can meet this need to share them with him? How can I begin to believe that i CAN have my need for true deep connection met, and accept this as true, as to allow it to unfold in my life? Thank you for all and any feedback.

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Guest Andrew

My heart goes out to you. I'm 17 and currently going through finding peace with my idea of connection with other people. No matter what I do it just seems like I can't feel safe in the connection - though when push comes to shove people tend to be beyond any expectation when it comes to being kind and compassionate people - I know that it comes from my mother and father not trusting me. Them putting me on a pedestal and expecting me to be perfect - without them realizing I'm still human - and also them using me as a pawn during their divorce. I don't have any answers for you because I haven't found peace with it yet, however I hope that something that I said might help be a mirror for you in your own life and give you a feeling that someone else is also going through that same thing and understands everything single pain, nagging thought, and trauma your going through. Please know you're not alone and I love you as another human being in this insane existence we call life. <3

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It sounds like you need your partner to see the divine within you, your connection to the source and destination of all that is created in oneness.

You can help your partner by seeing this in yourself, and comporting yourself accordingly. This means seeing the divine in your partner also, and lavishing them with the devotion they deserve, the devotion you deserve.

Don't love with the intention of returns. That definitely won't work. Everything must be for the sake of acting in a manner due to the higher reality. This builds knowledge, and increases our integrity.

It's not what you are owed, but what every living thing is owed, if that makes sense.

This is my advice. It isn't exactly the best news. You can do what you can do, and that's about it. I like to believe that that's a lot.

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"food, pot, alcohol, television and internet to meet a subconscious longing for true, deep connection I am ready to turn in the direction of it"

love it. deep connection only in clear dreams. inspire. cut off some things

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I think the point in conceptualizing is that you go inward and find out what specific things he/she could do which you are sure would fill that need. 

For example: Go back to a time when you did feel that need being met and then figure out what it was that was being done for or to you that met it and start from there. 

Hope it helps xx

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Doesnt the soul feel so separated?  We are one little light poking through from the kaleidoscope and sometimes all we see is our color, your color.  You never realized you were already connected.  Its not an idea; connection.  Its not a conversation, cuddling, a date, or a magical moment shared with someone else -- although it can be.  But the root of that feeling is entirely up to you and not your circumstances.

try to feel everything around you. dont make the mistake that nothing around you is as alive as you are.  everything is waiting here to be your friend.

dont make connection so complicated.

Edited by telephones
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We are mostly hollow shallow people, putting value in recognition. Recognition is a beautiful sacred thing...one must be sincere and present. Be this for yourself and see you are all you need. Once you are all you need life will want to be be with you, you are beautiful, don't let your fears dictate your happiness, own your beautiful nature, your shadows, ask the cosmos to provide help with pure intentions, fortune favours the brave.

Good luck <3 

 

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