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Delina

What is 'gaslighting'?

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What is 'gaslighting'?

Do you know what 'gaslighting' is? 

 

Can you explain it to me or support Ask Teal Episode on this topic.

 

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I think its when someone tries to make you feel crazy. for example someone moves stuff around the house on purpose to make you feel like you have a bad memory, but if you ask them if they moved it they make it so you as losing your mind, something like that. Someone doing something deliberately to make you think you are going crazy, like moving a picture and saying its always been there just to make you think you are going crazy.

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Gaslighting is making someone doubt their own reality. The name comes from an old movie where the husband slowly made his wife go crazy by telling her she's imagining gas lights flickering.

To use an extreme example, say one parents wants to destroy the other parents life (eg revenge for cheating or something). They may go to the child and get them to accuse the other of sexually abused them. It's not that the child is lying, it's that the child now really believes something that didn't happen, that they were sexually abused because they were brainwashed by the other parent basically. They may have fake memories about it. Young children's minds can be manipulated and take their parents word over their own. But this child may grow up to not trust their own reality, because of the way it was manipulated by their parent. This exact scenario may have happened with Mia Farrow/Woody Allen if he is innocent. One way or the other the child was abused, either sexually by him or emotionally manipulated into believing something that didn't happen by her. Naturally, when it comes to sexual abuse the opposite must be true too where a child who was sexually abused was convinced by their parents/abusers that it never happened in order to protect themselves

There are a lot more common, but still very damaging examples however. I remember conversations like this happening when I was younger:

Me: "I would appreciate it if you criticized the way I look or the way I eat less, I don't think it's worth it 

Parent: "That wasn't criticism, I was only helping you"

Me: "I would just like negative comments to happen less so I can feel better"

Parent: "It's only your perception that they are negative or criticism. In our perception they are not. We are acting normally and you thinking it's wrong is just in your head that you made up as an excuse. You need to be less sensitive"

The parent is avoiding taking any responsibility by saying they did nothing wrong and if the child thinks so, the problem is in their head and how they are interpreting reality. They are claiming the parent's interpretation of reality is correct and theirs that thinks the parent is hurting them, is wrong. Various forms of "it's all in your head" are the most common gaslighting. By doing this they are making the child trust their reality less anytime they think something like their parent is hurting them. Thus when they grow up they continue to distrust their reality and blame the problems in their own head for mistakes others did.

Edited by Shack1212
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Gas-lighting is a very real and interesting phenomenon. It is made possible by humans' free will and concomitant creative power that enables reality manipulation & subversion. Essentially, through assuming new beliefs (or doubting current ones)  one is invoking their I_AM presence (knowingly or not) which leverages consciousness neuroplasticity to potentially permanently alter reality perception. (i.e.become MORE or LESS "crazy" :) )

For example, before I awakened and utilized affirmations to increase my thought power via neuroplasticity, I almost assuredly would have NO IDEA what I just said.  LOL :) Ultimately, one can only gaslight themselves.. by letting someone else's view have greater merit in your mind than your own view. This is also how learning occurs.. but in the learning situation the new belief tends to advance or clarify the existing belief_system and NOT totally overwrite it or destabilize ones consciousness. That all said, GasLighting is basically, as others have said or implied: "damaging, confusing, or destabilizing doubt creation in others."

Peace!

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