Rui Carlos

Hi

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Hi

My name is Rui. I am from Cape verde, Africa. I am 24  years old. I´ve been following Teal on youtube for a while now.

I found her when I sudendly had some insight of my own. It was like I knew I was source myself. Let me give you an idea about how I´ve come to this.

Once I was reading a book called The Secret. It´s about the law of atraction. When I finished the book an idea got stuck in my head "energy". I realized that what most call God is in fact energy.  Energy can not be distroyed. It chances form. Then I was like " wow. Maybe what people call spirit it´s in fact energy. When we die we simply change forms. We are energy still. So we become part of what people call God. Energy is all there is. Our bodies don´t disapear. we decompose and shift forms." It made total sense. It was like I knew it all along...I knew it in my bones. Then I realized if my flesh is energy and everything about me is energy I am God myself...I am source. I am source materialized. Then I remembered times when I knew something and didn´t know how I knew it. I usually wouldn´t trust it and it would prove to be right. I started feeling like"wow... that must be intuition. Of course. If I am source myself intuition must be right. I have to feel it. it´s just myself telling myself what to do". I started trying to hear, or see or whatever form my intuition could manifest. I looked online for intuition and found a video on youtube where Teal was talking about it. There was something about her that catched my atention. I don´t know what exactly. Everything she would say I would understand.  

My entire life I felt I was diferent...that no one could understand me. I had already linked everything to my childhood...I always knew...but she made me understand it better. My parents never understood me. They made me feel diferent...I always thought there was something wrong about me. Even though she makes me feel ok to be hwo I am sometimes I still feel there´s something  wrong with me. Today I feel desperate, hopeless. The only person that have ever resonated with me is her...she totally gets me. There were times where I thought I found people that could see me for what I was but they would prove me wrong. They would either hurt me or leave. Everything started with my parents and now I understand that I reflected it in my relationships with the oposite sex and with my friends also. I can not forgive my parents yet. 

I feel lost. I am tired of helping people...of people coming to me for help. I can understand them but they do not understand me. I am tired of being what people want me to be...I am tired of people expecting something from me...I am tired of having to give something so I can be loved. I want love. UNCONDTIONAL LOVE. I don´t have to prove anything. I deserve love. I want to me be me and find love.

Writing this I realized something have shifted. It´s Teal. I manifested her. It means I am not alone anymore. There is somene out there that sees me. Finally. 

But it feels empty still...

 

Edited by Rui Carlos

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