Vala

That thing called love

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That thing called love

 

 

I was neglected as a child, so the only love I know is conditional love.

How can I ask the universe for unconditional and healthy love from an other person? Would I recognise it if it was staring me in the face?

I have been working on loving myself like that, but only recently started trying to invision being loved like that by someone else. It was harder than I expected. 

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I feel like I should not give up hope. Hope is not the same as having an expectation. I'm totally love worthy. I am sure of it. I think I could get there if I knew how to stop getting infatuated with narcissistic people that have no way of giving anything without feeling entitled to control me in every way and try to make me feel small, weak and useless. I know that is not love. Yet it seems to be the only thing I know how to attract romantically.  I wish I could just stop doing that. I wish I could feel at home in a better place. I am really trying. Maybe I am just being impatient with my self...

So Walt, should we just love selflessly from a far forever? Is that fair? I'd rather have my silly heart broken one more time, then playing it safe for the rest of my life. 

Narcissistic people have just lost their appeal a little bit. I do hope they get replaced by something a little more human. I hope you find happiness too, Walt ❤

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