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Low vibrational energy

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Low vibrational energy

I have had some tormented emotions that are manifesting in physical health.  

Extreme low vibes and it passes sometimes.  Other times it comes on a psychic level.   Like I feel as if I'm tormented and under a physical attack.  The sepia colors are dull and not vibrant with color or life.  And I get almost feelings of dystopia and physical pain.   

I feel as if they are psychic attacks or something --- but in reality I've been experiencing them in waves for a few years now.   

There were times I cut the energy cords and was light as air.  Happy and tingling with joy. 

And then a low vibe attack feels like EMF static. 

And worst of all I start hating myself and blaming myself for allowing it to occur.  

I feel as if i am a broken person when it happens.  Like if I was a healthy and not completely broken person.  I'd not feel this way.   I'd be happy and have a solid energy that's consistent.  

THE WORST PART --- I can't identify the triggers sometimes.   I feel disconnected from my emotional and physical body.  And I feel deep intense emotional and physical pain.   

So.  I blame myself of coarse.  For being broken.  

And I don't have much else to say.   Except I need help right now.    I'm in dantes inferno.  A deep pit of hell

It sort of feels like someone put on a giant magnet and forced me to the ground where I'm just under a wave on energy that Is nothing positive.    

The fact I'm a grown man and feel this way is humiliating and it feels as if I a start hating myself.  And for no reason particularly.   I guess I just feel all gamut of negativity. Like the lowest form of energy out there. 

And I hate being so weak 

I'm humiliated by being such a weakling and not strong and completely immune to it. 

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Also.  My energy has changed --- I can feel it.  It's mean spirited energy. 

I don't feel it's natural for me to be mean spirited or a hater.   Something like a negative wave of energy comes over me and blankets me in a feelings of it.   

I somewhat feel as if my karma from my past mistakes comes back and haunts me.   And as if I am responsible for this misery.   I've been trying to escape it.  Yet the harder I try.  The more it feels like I'm stuck in neutral running all my gears burning the transmission --- it's so much resistance.  

I pretty much sacrificed everything on chasing a dream.  and I feel as if I'm back where I started.   

Absolutely nowhere.   And exhausted to boot. 

Enormous resistance somewhat 

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