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fear and the effects of fear on our health

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fear and the effects of fear on our health

This is a question. I was not sure where to post it, so here it is.

I will start from the very beginning, so this might be a somewhat lengthy post.

It all began at the end of january last year, when I had my first ayahuasca session. Not long after that, I started getting interested in spirituality, because I always thought changing the way you think to the positive will get you to a healthier place.
BUT: everything I've done to change the way I think has been out of fear. I still carry this fear with me. The fear of becoming very ill, if I don't think positive, or when I not eat well for a period of time. It's all because of fear. I am a natural introvert, so I did push myself to go out and make friends, because I was afraid of getting sick, when I am alone all the time. But I never felt like I was doing what I really wanted. I did all these things out of fear. I would say my biggest fear is getting cancer. I don't know where this fear comes from, but I am so terrified of that thought. 

I've been feeling quite well until octobre or novembre 2016. I had started studying at a private university, and I was not very happy with that. Since it's a private univerity I had to pay a fee every month, which I endend up not being able to pay at all. So I am still in the midst of sorting out to get out of the contract I have with them. in decembre I started to struggle with insomnia. It was only for a week, but it took a heavy toll on me mentaly and physically. I got very bad panickattacks. It got so bad, that I had to be sent to the psychartry. they gave me some medicine and recommended, that I get into therapy, because I was heavily burnt out and I needed help. 

So here I am now. I can sleep again, but I still fear getting very sick for some reason. I post this in hope to get some tips and calming words. Thanks for reading.

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From reading this, I'm getting the impression that as you started to open yourself up to spirituality, you brought your awareness to many different aspects of yourself that had gone previously unnoticed. One of those is the fear of illness - but I think it is more directly, the fear of not having control of your experience. This fear has been within you prior to your encounter with ayahuasca, you are only becoming aware of it now. 

I would ask yourself, "What is the absolute worst thing that can happen if I did become sick?" and imagine what that would be like. It will show you the people, places, things, and situations in your life that you are avoiding and afraid of which are lying at the root of this. Opening yourself up to illness in this way will not make you ill. It's not that simple! You are examining your feelings around it and using them as a way to discover what the fear is trying to communicate to you. That's all illness really is, a experience that is trying to grab your attention and tell you something.

As you've pointed out, it also seems like you have forced yourself to do things to avoid something that might happen. That's exactly what brings about illness; not living your truth or doing things you "think" you need to do but don't want to. Take these actions which you've identified, that come from a place of avoidance or fear, and transform them. It's within your power. 

Edited by ashl_ey
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