John

Acceptance

8 posts in this topic

Acceptance

How does a person go from understanding to acceptance? For example, say you understand logically or mentally about something, is there another step before finding acceptance? I think I have gotten to a point where I have understanding about something (basically that it is what it is or it can't be other than the way it is), but I am having trouble getting rid of the thought that it SHOULD be other than the way it is. For the sake of simplicity let's say the topic is something very clear, like water is a liquid at room temperature. If a person understands that water is a liquid at room temperature, but believes or thinks that it SHOULDN'T be, how does he or she find acceptance?

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My question is why you think it shouldn't be as it is. Someone told you something different and now you hold onto that belief in spite of evidence to the contrary? Does the culture hold beliefs that are contrary to what you understand to be true? Understanding is an intellectual process, acceptance is a more visceral experience. Love is an experiential process. We can intellectualize about it but that's not the same as experiencing it, feeling it. living it, accepting it.

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1 hour ago, Pastor George said:

My question is why you think it shouldn't be as it is. Someone told you something different and now you hold onto that belief in spite of evidence to the contrary? Does the culture hold beliefs that are contrary to what you understand to be true? Understanding is an intellectual process, acceptance is a more visceral experience. Love is an experiential process. We can intellectualize about it but that's not the same as experiencing it, feeling it. living it, accepting it.

Let's say that I prefer it to be different than the way it is. For example, I believe that I would be happier if water was not a liquid at room temperature. So I prefer that it was not a liquid even though I understand and have experienced that it is. I know it's kind of a dumb example, I just wanted to simplify the question as much as I could.

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Hi @John

I too recognize this problem of understanding something intellectually but not truly feeling this and you therefore don't truly 'believe' in it. For me it was easy to understand that there is no sense in getting worked up about something you cannot do anything about, like being in a traffic jam, but I wasn't able to put this fully into practise until I did a vipassana retreat.. While this retreat helped me a lot with believing this belief (because that is what it is in the end), in general experience this happens through time as well. So how do we speed up this process?

Maybe Teal's video on 'how to change a belief' can help. It talks on how to reinforce a new belief for yourself.

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37 minutes ago, Redbeard said:

Hi @John

I too recognize this problem of understanding something intellectually but not truly feeling this and you therefore don't truly 'believe' in it. For me it was easy to understand that there is no sense in getting worked up about something you cannot do anything about, like being in a traffic jam, but I wasn't able to put this fully into practise until I did a vipassana retreat.. While this retreat helped me a lot with believing this belief (because that is what it is in the end), in general experience this happens through time as well. So how do we speed up this process?

Maybe Teal's video on 'how to change a belief' can help. It talks on how to reinforce a new belief for yourself.

Thanks, I'll try it. I've watched pretty much all of Teal's videos, but stayed away from that one, not sure why, maybe the subconscious at work ?

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I think the middle part your looking for is found through 'awareness', If you were aware, why the water was expressing it's self in liquid form and that by you seeing it in it's liquid form, you were inspired to become more aware of 'yourself'.

- I know, sounds confusing right, trust me, it makes more sense in my head :) 

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If you don't want water to be liquid you can change it in the physical world. If you don't like getting wet you can change that in the mental. If you want to be a fish so you can breath underwater you can reincarnate as a fish or get into scuba diving.

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On 27-12-2016 at 8:33 PM, Mark Joseph Middleton said:

Filters: Don't filter or judge source too much. Someone may dislike me, or just not take in 90% of what I say as meaningful. But if they skim the text, every so often they might say ah, that's really helpful, and because I didn't judge or filter this guy I was able to take that message from source. - Because that's where its all coming from through filters, constantly, every minute of your day. (Some clearer than others :D) and some of it is meant to highlight what won't work for you, what will make you feel horrible, or perhaps how you can help others etc, etc. - Take off the judgements about a filter from source, and things get easier. Not speaking about you specifically redbeard here please understand, just generally how to speed things up.

I do not feel 'attacked' at all but very much appreciate your thoughts about that. Just as the rest of all your kind words and lengthy replies. I hope John has found an answer he can work with!

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