Davinho

Stuck in an abusive and arranged marriage

2 posts in this topic

Stuck in an abusive and arranged marriage

Hi everyone,

I'm now in a relationship with the opposite gender. For my girlfriend I want ask help for her current situation in Singapore. She is married since 18 years. The indian father decided in her age 22 to arrange wedding with an indian man from a spiritual sikh family. He didnt even ask her, but normally the parents ask both if they also agree with this... But I think the tradition of Hinduism have more influence in the Sikh tradition  in Punjabi. She didn't say her opinion, she learned to be quiet and to sacrified everything for her parents and now since long time for husband and the two kids. He is cheating her since long , even left her for 10 years in India alone with kids. She give so much love but receives so less from both - kids and husband. Before left India she discovered that he is cheating her since a time with an philipinnes girl. After they arrived Singapore ,  he began continuesly cheating her . She forgave him everytime but he even forced her in the last years to been touched sexual. Now I have  a relationship with her, she tried to avoid sex, but he is very aggressive and thinks his right is  to take what he desires. Before her vacation in India she has been  sexual abused twice, she reported me everytime. She said he changed after India, but he tried again  in common bedroom, but she began to disturb him with fighting. I offer my help through Facebook, but me as a young man I have not enough money and time to support her more directly in Singapore. She had begin to allow her to see dreams, to have wonderful future with me. But because of kids, she actually dont want see future, but wish so much to live with me as wife. She dont see any chances so she lives with husband in one room to take care for her kids. How can she come in her own power to find a way back to radical self-love , so she can create a better life to live?      

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Hi Davinho, Sounds like a lot of drama! I feel for your situation and all concerned. I tend to think that anytime one is "stuck" in an abusive relationship, or any situation, it is because they are a vibrational match for being so. Also, it sounds to me like you might be in a relationship or drama triangle yourself. You may want to look up information online regarding "The Relationship Triangle" and "Karpman drama triangle". There is also Teal Swan video on "The Hidden Truth About Dysfunctional Relationships". I wish you all the best. - Aaron

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