Stephany

Motivation - Help me stop wasting my time

11 posts in this topic

Motivation - Help me stop wasting my time

I tried sending this email to askteal@tealeye.com but the delivery failed. (If anyone knows why that would be, please let me know.) Then, I noticed the "Submit Question" link at the bottom of the website so I did get to submit the question- but without all of the background info I had taken so much time to write out before. I have the extra info there because I know half of the time someone asks Teal a question at a workshop, the answer ends up having to do with something seemingly unrelated to the original question and I think this may be one of those times. I would like to put this email out there. In case Teal doesn't get to my question, I'd love to hear what anyone else may have to say in response. It is long, so if you don't feel like reading the whole thing, I would be just as happy to hear a response to the question highlighted in bold large letters below:

 

Dear Teal,

 
Firstly, I love your work and would like to thank you for all that you do. I was at your Sydney Synchronization Workshop and had a wonderful time!
 
I apologize for the length of this email. I don't know how many of these you get a day and maybe you don't have time to read the whole thing. If so, please feel free to skip all of it and scroll straight to the question below in large bold text.
 
When it comes to spiritual teachings, I wish there was a way to take what I've learned and think I understand on a mental/logical level and force it into the aspects of myself that really need to have learned the lesson taught. I've read books, articles, watched videos, listened to audio books, etc. In my mind, it makes sense. It all seems like it should be simple enough to apply to my life, but there is definitely still a major resistance living in my subconscious that I can't quite put my finger on.
 
In a nutshell, I'm currently in a position where I could really take control of my life in aspects relating to career/what I do with my time and to make money. I'm at a crossroads with lots of time on my hands and quite a few ideas about how I can be using this time. Part of the problem is definitely that I am not just choosing one of the paths that I'm envisioning for myself and going with it at full force. My mind likes to wander back and forth between my options and all of their pros and cons.
 
I do have one favorite idea- create a webcomic and/or comic book about a "westernized" girl who's into New Age spirituality but struggles with the actual application of spiritual teachings into her life (very much like myself). I've known I want to do this since September and so far have written down about 6-or-so ideas for story lines and have only completed one 5-panelled strip.
 
Sometimes I think, well maybe if I do a meditation for focus or motivation I'll be able to get more done today. When I try, most of the time, I struggle to even stay focused for the meditation. I struggle to remember to stay present for most parts of the day. Even when I do sit down with the intention to work on my comic, I end up spending a lot of time staring blankly into space, picking at my nails, or picking at some other part of my body. All throughout school and college, it was impossible for me to get an assignment done unless it was the last minute. I can stare at a blank word document for hours until there is some real pressure to get an essay done. This was ok at school where it didn't matter whether I did the assignment a week before or a minute before it was due, but I'll never be able to achieve the goal of being a comic writer without some real self-motivation power.
 
And so we have my question:
 
How do I find the motivation and focus to achieve my goals?
 
My fear is that my window of opportunity that I have right now where I have time on my hands and am not expected to do anything with it is going to close before I find this motivation. If I were working intently on anything, I know these people would continue to support me longer than they really need to so that I could work towards my dreams. Soon, my living situation will change and I will have no excuse to not go get a job. At that point, if I haven't figured out how to tap into my inner-focus and motivation without the pressure that's always been necessary to get there, I know I'll slip back into the same old pattern of spending lots of time at work, coming home too tired to give a shit, and using that as my excuse for not bothering to pick up the sketchbook often enough to get anywhere with my goals.
 
Thank you so much for your energy and time reading this. I hope that I get the answer soon.
 
Cheers,
Stephany

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6 hours ago, Stephany said:

How do I find the motivation and focus to achieve my goals?

I currently see so many people asking this same question.  There is nothing wrong with you, @Stephany, for feeling this way.  It is a symptom of living in the rat cage for so long. 

From my personal experience and from what I have observed as a CP Facilitator, the main reasons people cannot find motivation and focus is:

1.  They have very little Soul Energy left.  Most of their Soul Energy and their Soul Gifts are trapped in the past, fractured off due to unresolved traumas.  This was the case with me.  I was in a similar situation where I could basically do whatever I want in life.  Instead of being happy and full of passion, I wanted to die because I was so fucking depressed.  I didn't even know what I want or don't want.

2.  The little Soul Energy left is used for Resistance instead of Flow.  People resist the job they hate, the scarcity they fear, how bad they currently feel.  All this Resistance sucks up so much Soul Energy that there is nothing left for motivation and focus.

Here is what works for me.  I now live my life with passion.  I live most of my days full of motivation to create my dreams and focused on what I love.  I have never been happier and more alive than now.

1.  Reclaim your Soul Energy. Do shadow work and resolve your repressed traumas.  CP is the best tool I know.  There are others like deep soul to soul connections, deep meditation, energy healing, shamanism, etc. that are also effective in reclaiming your Soul Energy.  Choose what feels good and works for you.

My depression left after one CP session.  After a few more, I was fully in my passion.  I knew what I was reborn to do.

2.  Following your feelings, not your conditioning.  What this means is follow your emotions as your compass in life and in daily living.  Let go of what your mind is telling you, let go of fixing things, let go of wanting to be motivated, let go of wanting to be happy, let go of all resistance, and just flow with what feels good to you right now right here, even if your mind screams warnings of pending disaster if you do so.

Let this be the way you make every decision:  does this make my heart blossom or does it make my heart wilt.  ALWAYS do what makes your heart blossom.  I have been practicing this, and I can tell you it is by far the hardest thing I have ever done.  BY FAR!  We are so conditioned to do what makes our heart wilt. We focus on obligations, fears, societal norms, being "good," etc.  Each time our heart wilts, our Soul Energy is wasted.  Our LIFE is wasted.

When I am able to achieve Flow instead of Resistance, magic happens.  People, opportunities, yes even MONEY, flow to me in return almost effortlessly.  I now understand the meaning behind the often quoted words:  Let go, let God.  Our inner world creates our outer world.  Flow creates abundance; Resistance creates scarcity.

I send you much love and support for your journey to a life that you truly love. <3

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Amazawa,

Thank you so much for your response. It's nice to hear that these processes and techniques do work. And I'm happy to hear you have found peace and even passion.

I will continue to work on letting go of resistance. I have tried to do the completion process a couple of times but it's always met with some internal resistance. I will aim to focus on flow.

Edited by Stephany

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Hi @Stephany welcome to the forum, 

I am very much in the same situation as you are. I am an architect and would love to create beautiful places, but don't like most contemporary architecture so I have lots of ideas to make this work. I currently have time as well but for some reason I find it hard to start and not much is happening. It is quite annoying to have this goal and you feel that you have the potential to reach it but it isn't working for you, isn't it?

Amazawa gives some solid advice and if it resonates with you, go for it! I also find Teal's video "Self love, the great shortcut to enlightment" very helpful on this matter!

The reason I like your question so much (and therefore I am curious about the answer) is because I am actually quite happy in general and I am not sure if I need deep soul work but rather some motivation, some reassurance or whatever that gets me going...

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1 hour ago, Redbeard said:

I am actually quite happy in general and I am not sure if I need deep soul work but rather some motivation, some reassurance or whatever that gets me going...

So good to hear that you are generally happy, @Redbeard.  That is uncommon these days.

If you are happy, then I would say that you are not wasting your time.  For me, being happy is the single most important thing we can do for ourselves and our planet.  The vibration of happiness is so important for shifting the world right now.  Teal has said, wanting to be happy is going for the Mother Ship.

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4 hours ago, Redbeard said:

It is quite annoying to have this goal and you feel that you have the potential to reach it but it isn't working for you, isn't it?

YES! @Redbeard It sounds like you and I are in the exact same position. I'm generally happy too. I mean, not all the time. I have my days. But I don't think I fall into the category of depression. 

I'm very good at working on tasks that someone else assigns to me, but when it's something that I want to work on for myself, there's not a whole lot of drive. So maybe there's something to your suggestion of practicing self-love. I'm pretty sure I've seen that Teal video before, but I'll watch it again as a reminder :)

Keep in touch if you find anything else that seems to be working for you. And I'll do the same

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Hi @Stephany It is very nice for me to hear that I am not alone.  In fact seeing how so many people are starting their own business these days I guess there is a tendency that people in general are looking for ways to do what they love. Which means there must be so many people out there with the same problem, even if it is just going to a singing class or something. I like to see this as an exmmpale that the world is changing for the better, but I could be wrong.
I can share you my thoughts but an/your answer I have not obviously.

From what I gather from Teals work ( @Amazawa and anybody else for that matter, please correct me if I am wrong) the vibrations that we hold are the result of 1) the thoughts that we think which are largely the result of our (core) beliefs, and 2) past trauma's which is what Amazawa has mostly described in his post.
I think Teal's video's are awesome because she makes you see causes and solution from a different perspective, which is so helpful in breaking down old thought patterns.

In our case there is probably fear of failing involved, which could very well be the result of an old trauma or from years of holding that belief. Probably both. What helped me a lot is that I changed my belief of 'I need to reach high in life' into 'all the things that I do are the result of what I think is best at that moment'. That has made me a lot more patient in general as I am not thinking the whole time any more 'if I don't start soon I will never have a chance any more', but rather 'okay, today I was scared, maybe tomorrow'. I suppose this does make me a bit more passive but also more content in general. I also don't think it is bad to have an odd job for a while, just don't get stuck in it.

I mentioned earlier that I am quite happy in general, which means to me that I have dealt with quite a few things already. I also think that I have found an equilibrium that makes in which I hold a belief that allows me to ignore my bad stuff, but it also doesn't invite much good stuff in my life. However I am happy in my own little bubble.
This would be an example of a supposingly negative belief that is actually beneficial to me; a coping strategy would be a good word for it. Let me illustrate it with an example: when there is a lot of arguing and fighting around you as a child you might block your ears or eyes so you don't have to deal with it. At that time it is beneficial to you because the fighting and arguing causes you so much pain. Twenty years later that same strategy probably causes more harm than it does good to you.. I have yet to find out what that belief exactly is.

Hopefully there is something that resonates with you.

 

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Wonderfully said, @Redbeard!  I love how self aware you are. :)

The equilibrium you mentioned may perhaps be your inner child just wanting unconditional acceptance for now.  Once that need is fulfilled, you may then feel more keenly the desire for expansion.  

Or, pain may resurface in your life.  Nothing contributes to expansion and motivation like some good old pain. :) 

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@Redbeard Everything you say resonates with me. I have had all of the same thoughts and it really sounds like we are in a very similar position. It's a funny position to be in because on the one hand, a happy contentment is supposed to be a good thing, but on the other hand I can recognize and feel a greater potential in myself than what's being tapped into.

If it helps, I've spoken to some family and friends about my situation and I think one of the most helpful suggestions I've gotten from a couple of them is that since I work so much better under pressure, then I need to find ways to put pressure on myself. Set a schedule, make daily goals, reward myself for achieving the goals, etc. I still have yet to do any of these things (because that takes motivation and focus! haha whoops) But I am so far feeling better for having spoken about it with so many people and on here. I have gotten a little more work done on my comic and plan to keep working on all of this. 

I know it's not the most spiritually focused answer, but could still be helpful. I'm grateful for this forum and that I have people to talk to that are thinking about the deeper issues at hand and definitely acknowledge that there is some work to be done in that area too.

@Amazawa I love your suggestions and your comment about the inner child simply wanting unconditional acceptance for now makes a lot of sense. I've been thinking a lot about your original comment about doing what makes my heart blossom rather than wilt and am trying to follow that rule because I really like it.

Peace and love!

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@Stephany hi, it is great that you can talk about with friends and family. I do have a bit more shame to talk about it (without any good reason honestly), so I am happy for you. The have given you solid advice that you should find out in which situation you can make yourself work. When I tried to quit smoking I obviously didn't keep my cigarettes next to the coffee machine. Or I would say to myself "no cigarette before 2pm" and when it was 2pm it was easy to not smoke for another few hours so I created a habit for a while where I just smoked after dinner instead of the whole day.

In same article that I read (reading and thinking about procrastination is obviously a lot easier than actually doing the work and still is procrastination) some guy talked about a strategy where you are quite rigorous. He said that if the most important thing for you right now is to make a webcomic you should work on it everyday for a certain amount of time. No matter what happens, you work every day, no exceptions. Maybe the first few times you will stare at the wall but eventually you will get things done.

I suppose momentum is the key word: the more you work the easier it becomes. Which also means that the more you procrastinate the harder it is to not to.  Maybe you like the pomodoro approach..

One more thing. Don't beat yourself up too much if you don't get much on paper. It is a bit like meditation or trying to fall asleep. The more you beat yourself up if it doesn't work the harder it is to make it work; or as Teal would say: "the more resistance you are building up." If you cannot sleep, then thinking about how awful it is that you cannot sleep just puts more pressure on it and makes it harder to fall asleep. So, in my opinion, if you say that you are wasting your time you are building up more pressure and that will make it even harder to work next time.

You will notice that I haven't said anything about fears or things deep inside. That is where I hit a wall and need to dive in deep Amazawa style.

Have a good weekend

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