Nick S

Death in the family

4 posts in this topic

Death in the family

I am the middle sibling of three. My brother was born three years after me, and my sister was born three years before me. When my sister was born, she came out in bad physical condition. She died two days after her birth, so I never met her. I have visited the grave only twice before. Both times on the day of her birth while accompanying my mother. Once when I was 2, then when I was 22. She was brought up at home only a few times, on her birthday, in a very brief explanation from my father as to why my mother needed to be on her own. I have found myself questioning over the past few years how my sister has affected my life, character, and upbringing? Does anyone know of a similar instance? Or any thought on how this might have affected me?

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Your sister's death could have affected you in many ways. You might have resented your mother needing time away from you, you might have felt that life was fleeting and that parents were lying to you if they tried to calm your fears by saying it all right or you may have resented your absent sister for hurting your mother and causing her pain. Hospices often have some free grief counseling and or a family therapist could help explore the family dynamics. Getting in touch with your sisters spirit could resolve fears and resentments and help you recognize the infinite nature of life. Write her a letter detailing all your thoughts and fears and saying whatever you would like to say to her then take the letter outside and set it on fire sending it into the void with whatever songs and prayers you feel appropriate. You may feel a great weight Lift from your spirit and you may feel the need to communicate further. Follow your heart. Be Blessed.

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Mother and child are linked at a cellular level. Memories are written into DNA, just like how the memory of your grandfathers eyes created the blueprint for your eyes. You are an extension of the desires of your parents, particularly your mother. All your mothers desires and unresolved trauma, will create a predisposition in your life, so that 'you' may transmute them. (Sorry, I'm having trouble putting thought into words)

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Thanks Pastor George, but I never really gave her any thought until recently, and I don’t think I had any negative thoughts towards parents do to that, so don’t feel I have anything to let go of. Walt, I have considered that as well, and feel it true at times with certain emotions. She would put great effort into keeping my brother and I happy at all times. When we were unhappy she would try turning us around without addressing the cause, and if it didn’t work, she would shut down emotionally herself. I know this is common for many parents, but question to what extent she did it. I also question whether her shutting down so much might also be due to her being strangled at birth by the umbilical cord. Thanks Nuia, very well put. This is exactly what I have swimming through my mind when considering how it effects me. As I try to come up with answers to this, I get so flooded with possibilities I’m not even sure where to begin.

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