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Central Sun

I feel like there's strict penalties for trying to be like someone else

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I feel like there's strict penalties for trying to be like someone else

Like, a literal Law of the Universe. What do you guys think? I feel like I get punished via suicidal thoughts if I'm chanelling someone else for too long.

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I don't believe it is punishment. Punishment would entail that what you're doing is 'wrong' in opposed to 'right' that's a moralistic thought, which is a purely human construct. The universe does not see right/wrong, black/white, punushement/reward. 

Rather than 'wrong' it is 'out of alignment with your higher self'. In other words, the further you pull away from your authentic essence, the more painful it will be because you are pulling away from what you really want, and the pain you experience when channeling somebody else instead of your own essence does not work as a punishement, moreso it works as an alarm. Pain is asking you to look at it, and be with it because it's part of you, and although you look for a solution to this pain by channeling other people who you admire or such, the only solution to the pain is paying attention to it.

It's as if you had left a very loud alarm clock ringing in your home, everytime you came back to your home it would be ringing. The sound would become so unbearable that you decide to leave the house as fast as possible and as often as you can (maybe go to someone else's house, where there is no alarm). You desert your home, instead of going up to the alarm and pressing the button. That's what abandoning yourself looks like. Of course healing emotional wounds is not as easy as pressing a button or flipping a switch, but as soon as you pay attention to that pain, and let yourself feel it fully (and cry a lot), you will feel a sense of relief, because the most painful thing we can do is resist/ignore/abandon our own pain, which is what brings you suicidal thoughts as well, it's just pure despair you want to run away from. I can relate, and I understand how painful it is to have suicidal thoughts and feel like there's something inherently wrong with you, feeling like you are gonna drown in your own emotions if you let the floodgates open, but I guarantee you won't.

<3

Edited by Micky

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