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LaucherJunge

How to deal with this person?

5 posts in this topic

How to deal with this person?

I am really out of options on how to handle this sitation with her..
I am going to the same class with this girl and her behaviour towards me is really disgusting sometimes. We are a very small class with just about 8 people and we all get along very well but with her it is really taking all my energy and it is kind of hurting me also. She is a very narcissistic person she kind of tries to be the alpha in our class and i do not really care about such roles but i feel like she feels threatened in this position by me thats why she behaves so ugly towards me.
No matter what i do she will always find a way to comment on what i say when i start arguing with her she just interrupts and does not listen to what i say at all so i usually just ignore her but the problem is that does not work at all because she continues her ugly behaviour towards me. If i ignore her it does start hurting after a while when she offends me, what i did not mention is that she sometimes becomes very nice all of the sudden and i finally get hope that its over and she does not bother me anymore after a while but she always starts doing it again, no matter what i do if i ignore her, if i am nice to her or if i am both of those it is always the same. It feels like she is the last obstacle for me to finally find peace... But there is just no way to get along with her no matter what i do. I really tried everything. I have been nice to her even if she was really ugly again and it changed nothing i can not ignore it without being hurt also and obviously if i argue with her it gets usually even worse and the hate eats me up and causes pain. I tried a meditation where i apologize and she does as well many times and it does get rid of the actual feeling of hate or pain i have at that time but it will be back the next day she starts again so i dont really want to do this everyday just because i have a narcissistic comrade.

Edited by LaucherJunge

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Where is your professor is all of this?  It is the job of the instructor to control the atmosphere in the classroom.  Have you approached your instructor about the tone of the discussion in class?  Perhaps you can schedule a meeting to air your concerns.  Chances are, you aren't the only one in the group who feels this way.  It would likely be best if your teacher were to intervene the next time your colleague steps out of line, this way you can focus on your studies instead of on trying to navigate shark infested waters.  Good luck in school.

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Well it is a school for adults only so we kind of have to deal with problems between the students ourself if it is not extreme also she is a girl and well our society has a problem with seeing females as perpetrators. The thing is she is nice to everyone else also thats why the people in my class do not have that much issues with her surely they think she is pretty egoistic but well many people are.

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@LaucherJunge You are in Germany, where a woman is Kanzlerin, so I think you might be able to give your society a little more credit with regard to egalitarianism!  

Since you are in a class with adults (non-matriculated continuing education, I assume) the female in question is a woman, not a girl, yes?  Have you tried being direct with this woman if you feel your teacher isn't approachable?  (Germans have a knack for being blunt and getting to the point.)  Another tactic you can try if you don't want to confront the issue head-on, is to beat her at her own game! Continue talking over her when she interrupts you, and slay with your arguments!  This will require you to really buckle down and focus on your subject matter, which is why you are in school in the first place. 

What class are you taking?  I'm a big fan of education, self-taught and otherwise, so I'm very interested to hear.

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36 minutes ago, Beyonce said:

@LaucherJunge You are in Germany, where a woman is Kanzlerin, so I think you might be able to give your society a little more credit with regard to egalitarianism!  

Since you are in a class with adults (non-matriculated continuing education, I assume) the female in question is a woman, not a girl, yes?  Have you tried being direct with this woman if you feel your teacher isn't approachable?  (Germans have a knack for being blunt and getting to the point.)  Another tactic you can try if you don't want to confront the issue head-on, is to beat her at her own game! Continue talking over her when she interrupts you, and slay with your arguments!  This will require you to really buckle down and focus on your subject matter, which is why you are in school in the first place. 

What class are you taking?  I'm a big fan of education, self-taught and otherwise, so I'm very interested to hear.

Equality is not always a good thing, men and women are different. If you start treating people the same way despite the differences everything is kind of fkd up. For example in this case this woman kind of takes the roles of an alpha but has societies protection for women like people are more gentle and forgiving (especially if she looks good), other men are becoming mere slaves to women because they dont have a role anymore and women keep their advantages they had over men while stealing their role at the same time. Anyway this was not supposed to be a thread about equality..

Yes she is a woman. I am very direct with her sometimes as i said i tried everything. I also think continuing to talk over her is the only thing i can do what she starts doing then is usually she just start a conversation with the others in the class while i am talking to the teacher and is using this conversation with the other people to basically give me the "feedback" she would have given directly otherwise.
I dont have a problem with focus at all my grades are close to as good as possible, thats probably another thing she is kind of jealous i guess.

I will have to roughly describe the school system in germany for this i suppose. We have grade 1-10 then if you had an average of above 3 at the end you can continue the school to achieve the "abitur" basically a kind of qualification for university it takes 2 or 3 years depending on too many things to mention here. And this "abitur" is where i failed my school because of dozens of reasons. There is the possibility though to now use the "zweiter bildungsweg" translated second-chance education to achieve the qualification to go to university so in essence im doing normal school again just that i have awesome grades this time.

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