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Diary of living with a spaced out girl

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Diary of living with a spaced out girl

Diary of living with a spaced out girl.

 

Have you ever considered putting milk into a water cooker? I haven’t. I learned as  a child that milk tends to stick to surfaces when boiled and also cooks over quite easily.

 

The spaced out girl thought it was worth trying anyway. The result was to be expected. Milk boiled over the cooker.

 

Using the cooker now makes the water smell and taste like burnt milk. Incredibly perplexing to me.

 

Mirroring her carefree attitude I put water with washing up liquid into the thing in order to reverse the damage. Well knowing that it too had the potential to spill over - and it did.

 

Opposites attract? You betcha. Just in a way that whatever I do and I’m not aware of is being mirrored to me by her.

 

I intend to write more about what happens to me through her. Right now I'm to self conscious to write more. But there is more. Stay tuned.

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You may now wonder. Why is he posting this in synchronicity? Because us two meeting cannot be a bigger "coincidence" even if the universe tried.

We met at an Open Heart™ workshop. Which as the name says, is about opening up your heart. We did this and I was guided to grab her by the arm when leaving and to ask her if she wants to discuss the experience over a drink. The rest is history. A week later she moved into my place. After us just meeting twice before. I know that's nothing compared to couch surfers but a huge step for myself. 

 

Guess what. I suggested to her previously to live together as a spiritual house mates. And soon she was kicked out by her landlady and asks me if she can move in with me. Coincidence right?

 

Thanks for reading. I'll be continuing this later.

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Okay, some time has passed. I almost thought this story was over and not worth continuing anymore. Yet - I'm sad. ? I have done what I'm good at. Distracting myself from developing myself by trying to make other people develop themselves instead. Then I become frustrated when it does not happen the way I want it. 

 

Essentially she is working at night. She is sleeping during the day. When I come home after work she is still tired and there is no real time for talking. Since she has moved in there was always some reason she did not have time. But of course next week, she will. Now even that is no longer the case. She essentially stated she needs time for herself for at least a month to heal herself and wants to be on her own. 

Yes. I grudgingly obliged, as I kind of like being on my own and undisturbed myself. 

So far so good. If I got the sense that she has things under control, then I might say to myself, no problem. All grand. However, she stumbled down the stairs recently in the middle of the night. And I'm like, why don't you turn on the light or walk slowly? Essentially I have started worrying about her.

I hate it when people other than me don't live up to their potential. Because that reminds me of myself in a way. Anyhow. I wish I'd finally meet a woman that is emotionally and mentally balanced enough, so that I don't feel the need to play babysitter all the time. :( 

 

The funny thing is. When we first met I actually explained to her that my last girlfriend was pretty emotional. And my challenge was to adapt to that. And that she now is very mental. And my challenge will be to adapt to that also. 

My ex girlfriend is no longer in my life. And I think the spaced out girl needs to leave as well. 

Having her live in my house is definitely better than being on my own. However I feel reminded of the saying. "Women, you cannot live with them, nor can you live without them." :-O

Of course part of me knows that this too shall pass, I just wish it would pass more quickly. Knowing all this spiritual stuff and then having to live in a physical existence where I need to learn and do things one at a time is pretty challenging.

I feel a bit better now after putting this out into the universe. Living in the now is kinda weird still. I'm too much used to being in my head and thinking. At least I get the sense that I'm doing something vs. just sitting around and responding to whatever arises.

 

 

 

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I love you. Not trying too hard and trying too hard all at the same time. Not sure how you achieve this duplicity but I think the "spaced out girl" is actually you yourself. Teal had this workshop session where you took a total stranger and told them about a person you were having a problem with. The Listener had to remember exact details as they were to repeat them back to the Teller later. What they reappeared back was in the context of " telling the story" back to the person first saying it. And vice versa.

The point?

You were actually the mirror and what was said back to you was for your benefit and your change, not the problem persons change. Get it?

You are Spaced Out Girl not your cohabitant. She is a minor Player in your existence and Reality only because of a vibrational match to you.

I hope this helps unravel yourself from You. Find yourself within, not through someone else.

Light, crystal Rob

Edited by Crystal Rob
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On 24.2.2017 at 8:26 AM, Crystal Rob said:

I love you. Not trying too hard and trying too hard all at the same time. Not sure how you achieve this duplicity but I think the "spaced out girl" is actually you yourself. Teal had this workshop session where you took a total stranger and told them about a person you were having a problem with. The Listener had to remember exact details as they were to repeat them back to the Teller later. What they reappeared back was in the context of " telling the story" back to the person first saying it. And vice versa.

The point?

You were actually the mirror and what was said back to you was for your benefit and your change, not the problem persons change. Get it?

You are Spaced Out Girl not your cohabitant. She is a minor Player in your existence and Reality only because of a vibrational match to you.

I hope this helps unravel yourself from You. Find yourself within, not through someone else.

Light, crystal Rob

Thank you for allowing me to be your mirror.

 

Yes . What you said above is true. I don't know if I had mentioned it, but it was pretty apparent that we are essentially the same, just the genders were mixed.

 

By the way, she has moved out now and no longer really is part of my life. Never really was even when living in the same house.

 

The move out process happened just as quickly if not quicker than the move in process. Really bizarre and fascinating too see how quickly things can happen. She told me no plan was involved. Just somebody said, hey cheaper room free here, done. Pretty sure though that the non plan was to tell others that she can't afford to live with me anymore and then jumping on the first offer.

Her spirit still lives in the "my house". Mostly in the form of memories, scents, and red spots of paint on the bathroom wall. So even though she wasn't really here before she also isn't really gone now. 

 

My my own journey continues though, and people in general and women in particular continue to puzzle me with their unpredictable behaviour.

 

To go full circle here. The only way to predict others is to predict yourself. Aka. Being in the flow of now, as even predicting myself is not possible. 

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Just for context https://www.aspiescentral.com/threads/do-aspies-have-delayed-mental-development.19055/page-2

 

This apparent parent thing that apparently Aspergers people don't have in their head seems to be the main source of frustration for me. For me everything is situational, and I do. remember waking up to the realisation of essentially having my mothers operating system in my head. Still it was coded in the form of if this than that vs. this and that.  So it was conditional in stead of prescriptory. The difference now is that the rules may be similar however they are based on my own understanding and I know mostly where they come from. And as they are coming from my own understanding, I understand them. 

 

Since the spaced put girl girl has left the premises this threads title no longer makes it relevant. To be continued elsewhere............

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Props to you. Spaced out girl lives in all of us. To be able to simply allow and watch is quite refreshing if not perceptive. Hook me up to further discoveries you walk down.

Light.

crystal Rob

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