AbsoluteWave

Just wanting to share some of my oldest dreams and ambitions since i was rather young

3 posts in this topic

I know it's a strange  thing to mention as the first thing considering many negative connotations it has with it, but I've always wanted to be a gogo boy and anything remotely close to it.  Truly loving yourself and all those around you, and also connecting through music and all sorts of passions.  It always seems to come back to my own fantasies and desires, and this profession/hobby, seems to help me reconnect with being truly able to express myself, the love i actually have of the male form, including my own.  i've already seen through most things to their core and which is why i find myself deeply intrigued by practically everything i come across.   Even know i practice all sorts of dancing in the private of my own home and hardly even show it with my BF who would be somebody i'd like to entertain in this way or even has a partner in crime so to say. but early on a simple conversation shook me some years back and it just gave me this feeling of instantly not wanting to express myself in a certain way with him even though we may enter certain subjects from time to time and they can remain rather playful in nature.. Anyways, he in a way wouldn't let me get into it because of the dangers he was aware of and wanted to keep me form it.  but also laughed at me when i said how i wanted to be an awesome and inspiring gogoboy.  and something he said in explanation was like how the word doesn't match the rest of the sentence.. when i for one have seen many people and dynamics through the internet that shows different into this whole lifestyle which has alot more to it than just dancing around.. even though simply doing that is super fun for me.  Just a world where everybody is close and just has fun with eachother.  Hell, even pornstars have more to it than meets the eye..  Being gay tends to revolve around these things a bit and i don't take any offense towards it{only misjudgements by outsiders}.  It's not trashy.. it's magical.. even the ''trashy'' bits, lol.  ( I guess i just resemble alot of what is taboo, to my core.  Almost like my very existence is taboo, just as fascinating as simply existing.)

It's really all about pure expression and love.  specially for dance, art and music..  I've always liked pretty much all forms of dance, no matter their origins and cultures behind.

So much that i almost gotten Kabuki among other things to be part of the theater/drama curriculum of my first high school before i had to move away.  ( also because of my roots, and wanting to get some raw culture into the mix, which would remedy appropriation and stuff like that with the purity and power of the art-form itself.

I've always loved interior design.  which also ties into how much I just love getting a look into peoples homes even just from the road side while walking by.  as well as getting to feel a bit into the aura and mood of the room and everything in.  ( reminds me of one of Teal's blog about how sh could decorate a room that would

And most of all, I love to write, sing and draw.  Though most of my stories have for the most part stayed inside my mind for further action.  lol

I also love photoraphy but never had much to use as an outlet for that but still dying to try out the next camera i got in the city i am in currently living in for example.

I'm also into alot of academic things.. specially philosophy and theology.. even when i was in high-school, i desired for the collage experience.. .. you know.. full of genuine knowledge seeking adults and young folk.




( I've also been known to look through people and see into their heart.  which allows me to like anybody.  even those who have seemed to hurt me in some way.)

                                       [that's it for now.]

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5 hours ago, AbsoluteWave said:

( I've also been known to look through people and see into their heart.  which allows me to like anybody.  even those who have seemed to hurt me in some way.)

I see people like this too, but people who have so many blocks and facades and hold on to their beliefs and will not let go I cant really talk to them because I can see their patterns and beliefs and if someone is unwilling to evolve their beliefs I don't want to be around them, I'll love them from a distance. also this current male masculine energy does not seem healthy to me so I don't like to be around that, its a lot of talking shit and whos the alpha and don't be a pussy kind of thing. since that is the old paradigm I don't like to be around that, so I become alone hyper aware of patterns and beliefs and I am connected to my soul/higher self and don't really understand people. I'm meant to destroy paradigms but that is terrifying to me, so my energy is kind of blocked because im not flowing being my soul expressing itself in this body, its a weird perspective not feeling and being what the normal male is, or person really. I love perspectives.

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2 minutes ago, Alex7 said:

I see people like this too, but people who have so many blocks and facades and hold on to their beliefs and will not let go I cant really talk to them because I can see their patterns and beliefs and if someone is unwilling to evolve their beliefs I don't want to be around them, I'll love them from a distance. also this current male masculine energy does not seem healthy to me so I don't like to be around that, its a lot of talking shit and whos the alpha and don't be a pussy kind of thing. since that is the old paradigm I don't like to be around that, so I become alone hyper aware of patterns and beliefs and I am connected to my soul/higher self and don't really understand people. I'm meant to destroy paradigms but that is terrifying to me, so my energy is kind of blocked because im not flowing being my soul expressing itself in this body, its a weird perspective not feeling and being what the normal male is, or person really. I love perspectives.

I totally agree with all of this.  And I'm not for that either.  I guess when it's only sort of play and nothing like actually intending to be hurtful. there is a fine line and most people can tell which is which.

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