Tanya36

Helping children know and allow their feelings

2 posts in this topic

I need real answers and practical, achievable guidance so of course I turn to the one community I can rely on for this.

i have two teenagers who become overwhelmed by big emotions.  Like me, they both have ADD.  This means that we are very sensitive and empathic and tend to take on the energy of those around us.  We also have big emotions, it's all or nothing.  Unfortunately we also have real difficulty dealing with these big emotions and feelings.  

My attempts to deal, by shutting down, led to me becoming an adult who was totally dissociated with my body, my feelings and my emotions.  Then I found Teal, or should I say she found me.  It has been quite a journey and now with the Completion Process book I am starting to feel again without defaulting to my old pattern of avoidance by shutting down.

i am starting to see my children shutting down their emotions too, but I am at a loss as to how to help them.  I do not seem to be able to convey to them what I have learned in a way that they can hear me.  They can see what I do and how it helps me but if I try to explain or point them to the videos etc their eyes glaze over.  I know that they are seeing my example and, despite all appearances, are taking it in.  

I need advice on how to teach them to process the big emotions in healthy ways as they happen.  What works best for teenagers?  How do you teach them to allow the feeling without resorting to violence etc.?  

I am worried that I will screw it up and screw them up (yes that is a shadow I will be addressing soon).

Any advice is very welcome.  

I would love to see an "Ask Teal" about communicating this process in a teenage friendly format too.

Thankyou in advance

Tanya

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On 3 November 2016 at 9:43 PM, Trinity Anderson said:

The question may not be how to help... but if to help. Hope this helps. 

 

Thanks Trinity.  It can be so difficult to know what is best for your kids when you have no experience to rely on.  I just know what I do not want to repeat.  The desire to do the best by your kids can really blur the lines and I feel like I am stumbling around blind and fearful of doing the wrong thing, but also fearful of doing nothing.  Having my children has been the most challenging and enlightening thing I have ever done.  It has led me to face some of my deepest shadows which I doubt I would ever have done without the courage born of  the maternal love for my children as a driving force.

 

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