Haidar1996

The Completion Process is Scary when done alone

5 posts in this topic

ok .. so i went to try the completion process on my self ..after watching some videos about it on how teal demonstrates 

the process...i decided to try it on my self ...

so i first found the most feeling that is impacting my body which is a kind of fear or anxiety in my stomach that is like ...crippling my stomach ..you know that sensation of anxiety ... 

so i began to be present to it .. to understand it observe it ...analyse it without really doing anything but being with the feeling I've approach it from an attitude where i'm like studying the sensation and let be there as long as possible and accepting it and accepting my other emotions towards this emotion ...and then when the feeling got began to calm ...i asked the question .."when was the first time i have felt this ...." and what came up was foggy and weird so i  waited and returned to focus on the feeling and after another while i asked the question again "when was the first..." and before i even complete the question somehow a memory ..pops up out of nowhere from first person perspective that was soooooooo traumatic like i couldn't stay there for long i think it was infancy .. i don;t know it was terrible scary and felt like death ... i'm too scared to be there ever again and i left the process from there

the memory was so dark and foggy and the feeling of fear was so devouring crippling i felt like my stomach will be torn apart violently any minute ... i think i have traumatized my self from using the process wrong 

 

i dunno if that was a false memory from my ego or something to prevent me from doing it .. i don't know 

i feel like if i  have done this with someone who i cant trust may be better and much safer ...but the thing is 

who am i going to ask this from those people around 

" hay could you help me integrate my being from some unknown traumatic experience ? "

i could imagine the look on their face .. they could even start to think i'm crazy ..

so what do you guys think i should do ? 

Edited by Haidar1996
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It is great you had the courage to start the process.   It sounds like you did the process and encountered an experience that felt like fear and death during infancy, which made you feel unsafe.  Since it was your first experience, you might not have not anticipated feeling strong negative emotions.  Your infant self had an experience that resulted in strong emotions of fear and death.  You did it right.  Going from the present experience of calm into an infancy experience of strong emotional pain is a dramatic shift, particularly the first time you do it.   The next time it won't be a surprise since you already have this experience but it will  likely have a strong emotional charge.   The first time I did the process I was on the phone with a friend.  Do you have anyone you feel would be supportive?    You could also contact someone trained in the completion process.    

 

  

 

  

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Its ok to feel afraid. Depending on your upbringing and how prominent "negative" emotional states were, you probably were raised unawaringly to "not feel these things".

To avoid uncomfort such as fear and death. As most of us do.
To ease this it might be beneficial to ask about the feelings regarding fear and death itself. For this you can use the technique Teal presented about finding a core belief.
So in this case you can ask yourself why would fear be so bad? 
Or what does fear mean to you or about you?

Then repeat either of those questions with the answers you get until you feel that you have hit the core belief or core feeling involved.

The same with the topic of death.

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@Jerry Tyfting ok so i've watched the teal video a while ago and used the techinque that she demonstrated in the video , and i was left with this beliefs 

1 i'm afried of being afraid so that i don't get vulnerable 

2 if i am velnurable i will be used and taken advantege of 

3 bieng used by someone means sooner or later they will abandon me 

4 being abandoned means being alone 

5 bieng alone means death

i also did uncover another core belief but i don't remeber exacly how i uncovered it but this core belief goes like this...

if i want something so badly..i will never get it and the universe will make sure of that 

now i have spent a loooot of time tryng to undermine this belief but it seems almost impossible to do so...also i feel so bad of holding such beliefs in my core...so...yes i'm left here now...

Edited by Haidar1996
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Awesome job at the core searching :) .
Its ok to think, believe and feel everything you find. It is understandable looking back on your upbringing. I dont have to know yours to know that everything you find is valid.

It sound like you are holding some beliefs about good vs bad things too. Know that just by being aware of these cores it takes you out of that "living in it state" making them less of an impact than before.

I also see that to make any or all of these processes go smoother for you, you got to find your core beliefs and feelings regarding your capacaty to make things happen.

If you dont believe you can change your own way of being then it is going to be a lot more difficult to do any self help practice.

As the proof to your brain of your success, you did do this practice, uncovering these things. You can do this, by looking for anything convincing yourself that anything is possible if you so want it to be.
Take your time with the following.

The belief about the universe might make sure of you not getting what you want, i feel you can go deeper with it. Like: if this is 100% true, why would it be so bad if you never got what you wanted so much?



Also if it were a 100% true, what does it mean to you if you held "such beliefs" in your core?

To be able to face things we have got to get to the root beliefs and feelings of why we fear facing them in the first place and to release as many resistances until we feel comfortable enough and brave enough to face those fears.

For me when i begun facing the emotional things, i held the thoughts...if the current and/or past situation i find myself in is the worst i have ever experienced then nothing could be worse than that, so i got nothing to lose. Since back then i felt i had lost so much already that practicing these things could never make it any worse.

Well i have other beliefs now but yea this is what i started with.

Edited by Jerry Tyfting

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