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Feeling cut short.

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I've wanted so much since childhood but had no way to achieve things that would have lead to owning my own power, shine my personality for others to see, benefit from me, enjoy my presence.

I had so many ambitions and yet I've yet to really realize any of them. I know it's never too late though.. but i feel so empty inside,  No experience,  a faulty personality, etc..
-for my art and musical inspiration/talent to name the main things- ( I still have bouts of major creativity and high vibes but feel so fake and stuff during most of them.  fake as in some wannabe. even wanted to make a legit youtube channel. not as an escape but to really just get myself out there and meet like-minded n' sweet and seasoned people. I also like how more and more people are doing it now.  so i feel a pull to do it too.  but then i get this feeling of how interesting am i really, y'know? )

I want to just spread good will and absolute joy and laughter.  I've never had the real chance to party either.  Like those kinds where nobody is left out..  where real stuff happens... full of real people..  not just at parties.. but where the real stories happen.  Mine is convoluted and rather boring and becoming more and more boring and stagnant with each year that passes.  my family too also doesn't seem to be changing much either.  I got no safety nets.  no real life friends who i have any history with.

That's all for now.


Edited by AbsoluteWave

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