lost

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16 posts in this topic

@lost, I believe you are the only one that can answer your questions.  Your Soul wants to heal and be whole, and it is continually sending you guidance in the form of feelings and emotions.  Unfortunately, we all have been programmed with the I Don't Know virus which keeps us believing we don't know when in fact we DO KNOW.

My input would be to unplug the I Don't Know virus and realize that you DO KNOW.  You are your own best source of guidance and wisdom.  As Teal has been emphasizing in all her recent interviews, tune into your feelings and emotions.  Learn to use them as your inner guidance for what to do and what to avoid.

It really is as simple as: do what makes you feel good; stop doing what makes you feel bad.  

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@lost

              Hello. Your feeling of being "ruined" isn't too far off. This week, I've come across information that put that feeling into perspective for us women. Women are a receptive energy. When we have sex with men, more than "just sex" has happened. We take in that mans attributes and qualities. Through DNA! That's why at first we can start sensing things about the man. Then, we start to sort of act like him. Ever heard of people saying that couples start to look like each other after being together for a certain time?? It's in the transmitting of the DNA or saliva. Science just hasn't gotten to it yet. That's why sex is more sacred than what society and the media has taught us. That is why its advised to not sleep with someone you wouldn't want to be like. 

               So what happens if you are just learning this after having an x amount of partners? You dive into the word of self help spirituality and see what works for you in getting rid of their energy. For me, I first set the intent. I tried the violet flame method and it worked instantly. Instantly meaning a change occurred the first time. Depending on how much of their energy is there, you would have to repeat the process however many times you deem fit for you. But that violet flame...feels good right away. 

To add onto what @Amazawa said in regards to "unplugging the i don't know", that also works very well. Close your eyes. Pretend you're a computer. Go to the file that says IDK. Delete it. Empty the trash can. Create a new file titled "I know". By creating that, you set the intention of knowing. Then relax and just be because remember, what you seek is seeking you :)

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as far as the guys don't want to date you cause of your past exes, speaking as a guy I don't think many of us take that into account .. actually it would make us feel better cause we know the bar is set pretty low so we won't have to try as hard haha 

 

unless you're dating homeless people it should all be good on that front 

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2 hours ago, lost said:

See..this is the attitude that I'm afraid of. That they'll think I'm not worth 'trying hard' for. Even though I'm just as attractive or even more (sorry not trying to be arrogant) than the girls that have guys trying really hard to pursue them. 

This makes me feel worthless..

Then, please erase it from your mind and reclaim your energy.  Focus on what makes you feel as attractive and desirable as you really are.  In my mind, I am imagining how hot you must be! <3

:)

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2 hours ago, lost said:

See..this is the attitude that I'm afraid of. That they'll think I'm not worth 'trying hard' for. Even though I'm just as attractive or even more (sorry not trying to be arrogant) than the girls that have guys trying really hard to pursue them. 

This makes me feel worthless..

most people do their best when they're not under pressure. I think you're reading way too much into this it's not that big of a deal. If someone actually cared you were dating losers before he got into the picture than you shouldn't be with that guy anyway cause he's a loser too 

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@Micah I recently asked a similar question to this one on the Teal Tribe FB page! I got my answer when someone asked me the same question :) My dilemma was that I kept attracting men who ignore me, don't like me, are not present in my life, disappoint me, think I'm ugly, and are completely emotionally unavailable to me. When I looked at my relationship with my father when I was little, I realized that he was emotionally unavailable, distant, did not try to get to know me really, and never told me I was pretty (which is something every little girl desperately needs to hear from her parents ok, this is very important if you have daughters because society bases girls worth on her looks, so telling her she is pretty and smart and kind etc. when she is little will plant in her that feeling of worthiness).

Realizing that, I can clearly see that the men I attracted into my life until now are men that are a direct mirror to the rift that I am trying to heal with my relationship with my father. I was trying to prove my worth to myself by attempting to make people love me who never would be able to, instead of looking at the trauma and neglect caused by my father's non-actions towards me and being present with the reality that he made me feel worthless and unloved, and so of course I equated that feeling of worthlessness and being neglected to love.

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21 minutes ago, lightworker said:

I can clearly see that the men I attracted into my life until now are men that are a direct mirror to the rift that I am trying to heal with my relationship with my father.

Until now..... yay for those words!  I love how you have liberated yourself, @lightworker.  I think you are just awesome! <3

 

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@lightworker thank you, thank you, thank you. You truly are an inspiration! 

I have a 10 year old daughter that I  try to tell often that she is beautiful. But you made me realize that I probably don't tell her often enough. Thank you again. 

Like @Amazawa said, I  am also so glad that you found the answer and that you are free of that burden now. Now you can live more free.

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Well... if you we talk about DNA exchange here then how about that we are also able to change our DNA? So, choose a partner with a better background to heal yourself, even if it turns to be a short romance. It would be still better than nothing.

@lost you are not ruined by your past relationships. 

Your past relationships do not define who you're today. Only you truly know why you chose to have relationships you had. 

Personally, i am not sure what do you mean by saying "they were ugly on outside " since physicality is easily changeble, and majority of it simply has to do with cleanliness and style. 

But if you choose a partner and keep seeing his ugly without helping him to grow.... then there's a good chance that you do not see a man in your partner. And as the result, this will translate into his actions, which is probably why you have also said "they were ugly on inside". 

 

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On 10/21/2016 at 3:59 AM, lost said:

I used to date guys that I wasn't even attracted to, to feel 'safe', because I had low self esteem and dating them made me feel more confident and like they would never leave me (I would always be the more attractive one in the relationship).

But now I feel like I have been "ruined" by those guys in some ways...I don't really know how to put it into words...but I look at other beautiful women, and it seems that all of their partners are equally gorgeous, or wealthy, or spiritual, or kind, or inspiring...qualities that I consider positive and would want in a partner. All my exes are not only ugly on the outside but also inside as well. 

How do I deal with the fact that I feel like I have been ruined by them, that I"m not beautiful anymore because I have dated them...I have a fear that the guys I'll be attracted to in the future won't want me, because they'll think that I have low standards for dating my exes. Like it's "easy" to get me, or possess me, since "anyone can". 

I"m really struggling with this..like intellectually I know self worth can't be destroyed...but I don't know how to feel that...I really do feel a part of me is broken because of my exes.

Any input is greatly appreciated...thank you...

Bottom line. Be authentic.

You did not feel worthy in the past, you don't feel worthy now. 

My "trick" would be to do what I like to do. And do it the way that I'd like it being done.

The rest will take care of itself. That would be the masculine approach I guess.

Not sure how the feminine receptive approach is to this. I guess. Go with people that invite you to do things you like?

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