Saul_Tasier

Teal's irresponsible views on Hitler and the Holocaust

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Hi all! I just want to start off by saying that I love Teal Swan's videos and she has helped me immensely in my life! I trust a great deal of her work and her knowledge especially since she is a survivor of complex trauma just like me. That being said, that does not mean I am not critical of some of her views. I'm sure that if she ever reads this (probably won't) that she would just tell me to go watch her video of giving and receiving criticism! Don't worry, I already have.

So here's my issue with the ways I have heard Teal talk about Hitler and the holocaust. I have Jewish friends who could benefit greatly from Teal's videos, but I feel I cannot reference her material without giving a huge disclaimer first.

In one video, she says that "Everyone is good at their core, whether they be Hitler or Mother Teresa!" While this theory could be fundamentally true, that humans at their core have the ability to not harm others and most likely do harm to others because of unresolved pain, it is still irresponsible to mention Hitler in such a flippant manner, with no regards whether or not Jews are watching the video trying to heal from the trauma they experienced via antisemitism. While Teal obviously intends to give an example illustrating an important concept, she does so insensitively.

In another video entitled "Take the Leash off" she claims that the entire Holocaust would not have happened if Hitler had not experienced childhood trauma and could have been prevented if he had been given healthy relationships with a sense of belonging. (Aw poor guy). On a side note, I would like to acknowledge that one of the main tactics Nazi recruiters still use to this day is to foster a sense of belonging for ostracized members of the white working class. This does not mean that his sense of belonging to white supremacist nationalist ideology is what ultimately caused the Holocaust.

First of all this is historically inaccurate, being that Hitler did not cause the Holocaust, it was a history of antisemitism in eastern Europe that caused the holocaust. Hitler was mainly a performer for people to rally around, he did not himself (even as a traumatized individual), cause the entire holocaust. I feel that this statement displays a great amount of political ignorance on her part.

Assuming that Teal seems to think he DID cause the entire Holocaust, she implies that childhood trauma is what causes the economic and social conditions for mass genocide and not the other way around.

The economic and social conditions which caused Hitler to face childhood trauma were daunting and complex. Teal Swan's overly simplistic analysis of this fact is damaging and does not give credence to the history of oppression experienced by Jews preceding the holocaust.

Painting Hitler as being a damaged and tortured soul minimizes the complex trauma of holocaust survivors and the PTSD that their families faced during that time period and today. Surprisingly, the vast majority of hate crimes committed in the US are committed against Jews. Why is this surprising to me? Well because I never heard of it until recently. Why have I and many others never heard of it or heard so little about it? I attribute it to the fact that there are still people out there minimizing the effects of antisemitism.

Perhaps Teal did not put much thought into her analysis, or perhaps she is somehow biased, I really have no clue, but ultimately I just wanted to present these ideas to her fans in order to plant a seed of awareness. I did not make this post to cause a fight. I am not saying any of you are bad for liking Teal's videos or writings. Heck, I love them videos! However, I remain skeptical of all preachers, even if they are religiously non-denominational ones. I wanted first and foremost to introduce the idea that even someone as knowledgeable as Teal can still be wrong and should expect have her beliefs questioned being that she is a prominent spiritual figure with a lot of influence. I hope this post does not give the impression of attacking or belittlement. I hope that this post causes no harm to the readers and I pray that the readers will keep an open mind to what I am trying to address.

Hope you are all well.

 

Edited by Saul_Tasier

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I dont see a problem with what she stated it has nothing to do with antisemitism you are wrong on that in my opinion. 
She talked about hitlers drive and there is nothing wrong with knowing his reason it does not mean what he did was right it just shows what we can do to prevent such events.
She never said hitler did it alone but without hitler it most likely would not have happened i am born in poland and live in germany so i had this subject all the time in history lessons and i really do not like people
who still have to whine and make accusations to people who did not even live when it happened not to mention that people were brainwashed by media all the time back then they could not have done much as unconscious as they were and are to this day there is still much going wrong in the world. I know in the US you have your propaganda, the russians have their propaganda and the germans had their own propaganda back then now we have mostly the US propaganda in the media and the majority of people cant do anything against this propaganda, just very few people are in charge of this you should keep your accusations for those people.

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@LaucherJunge  It indeed was a different time back then and yet here we are, continuing to align with our higher purpose(s)I give thanks to those who followed their heart no matter what.  Those people are what lead others to do the same thing, forming groups that people now call hippies(AKA:Gypsy) and whatever else!  You got more people following their hearts and it's looking up, i mean, we can focus on the crumbling of the old paradigm, or we can give the focus to other things and give that more momentum...  y'know?

Anywho, let's honor and learn from our elders and bring magic back to all the land... <3

Edited by AbsoluteWave
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16 hours ago, Saul_Tasier said:

Hi all! I just want to start off by saying that I love Teal Swan's videos and she has helped me immensely in my life! I trust a great deal of her work and her knowledge especially since she is a survivor of complex trauma just like me. That being said, that does not mean I am not critical of some of her views. I'm sure that if she ever reads this (probably won't) that she would just tell me to go watch her video of giving and receiving criticism! Don't worry, I already have.

So here's my issue with the ways I have heard Teal talk about Hitler and the holocaust. I have Jewish friends who could benefit greatly from Teal's videos, but I feel I cannot reference her material without giving a huge disclaimer first.

In one video, she says that "Everyone is good at their core, whether they be Hitler or Mother Teresa!" While this theory could be fundamentally true, that humans at their core have the ability to not harm others and most likely do harm to others because of unresolved pain, it is still irresponsible to mention Hitler in such a flippant manner, with no regards whether or not Jews are watching the video trying to heal from the trauma they experienced via antisemitism. While Teal obviously intends to give an example illustrating an important concept, she does so insensitively.

In another video entitled "Take the Leash off" she claims that the entire Holocaust would not have happened if Hitler had not experienced childhood trauma and could have been prevented if he had been given healthy relationships with a sense of belonging. (Aw poor guy). On a side note, I would like to acknowledge that one of the main tactics Nazi recruiters still use to this day is to foster a sense of belonging for ostracized members of the white working class. This does not mean that his sense of belonging to white supremacist nationalist ideology is what ultimately caused the Holocaust.

First of all this is historically inaccurate, being that Hitler did not cause the Holocaust, it was a history of antisemitism in eastern Europe that caused the holocaust. Hitler was mainly a performer for people to rally around, he did not himself (even as a traumatized individual), cause the entire holocaust. I feel that this statement displays a great amount of political ignorance on her part.

Assuming that Teal seems to think he DID cause the entire Holocaust, she implies that childhood trauma is what causes the economic and social conditions for mass genocide and not the other way around.

The economic and social conditions which caused Hitler to face childhood trauma were daunting and complex. Teal Swan's overly simplistic analysis of this fact is damaging and does not give credence to the history of oppression experienced by Jews preceding the holocaust.

Painting Hitler as being a damaged and tortured soul minimizes the complex trauma of holocaust survivors and the PTSD that their families faced during that time period and today. Surprisingly, the vast majority of hate crimes committed in the US are committed against Jews. Why is this surprising to me? Well because I never heard of it until recently. Why have I and many others never heard of it or heard so little about it? I attribute it to the fact that there are still people out there minimizing the effects of antisemitism.

Perhaps Teal did not put much thought into her analysis, or perhaps she is somehow biased, I really have no clue, but ultimately I just wanted to present these ideas to her fans in order to plant a seed of awareness. I did not make this post to cause a fight. I am not saying any of you are bad for liking Teal's videos or writings. Heck, I love them videos! However, I remain skeptical of all preachers, even if they are religiously non-denominational ones. I wanted first and foremost to introduce the idea that even someone as knowledgeable as Teal can still be wrong and should expect have her beliefs questioned being that she is a prominent spiritual figure with a lot of influence. I hope this post does not give the impression of attacking or belittlement. I hope that this post causes no harm to the readers and I pray that the readers will keep an open mind to what I am trying to address.

Hope you are all well.

 

I think you're just making a big deal out of something very small... Teal has mentioned Hitler flippantly (as you said) once or twice. I don't see how this is enough for you to state her views on it are irresponsible, wrong, simplistic, etc. when she's hardly even mentioned it, and only done so in a presentation context to make a point. People talk about Nazism a lot, to make points. You're doing it right now, even. I find Nazism/Hitler/Holocaust stuff to be very boring and I am thankful that Teal doesn't talk about it much. It's become a tired cliché of a topic that people have difficulty discerning their emotions through.

Honestly this seems to have more to do with your fixation with Jews. I could point out it is very "irresponsible" of you to only mention Jews who were targeted during the holocaust when really it was a large range of people and the numbers are absolutely incomprehensible and we will never know the actual numbers. So to even say there were far more Jews than any other group would be ridiculous; we have no way of knowing. Some groups targeted by the holocaust got no acknowledgement or compensation for their persecution. Some of them were even sent right back to the camps. So maybe you should look at the full range of human experience instead of seeing things in such historically simplistic terms. I think it is absurd for people, and it seems to be mostly Jews, to continue to milk something that happened 70 years ago. The holocaust was horrible but if you will permit a harsh reality check; the holocaust was nothing unique and wasn't even the most unique thing to happen that decade, let alone that century.

I can't comment on Teal's grasp or lack thereof of history, but since you brought it up... I will have to point out that your own grasp of history isn't that great. It's very simple and orthodox. Your grasp of current climates doesn't seem that good either. There is no way that the majority of hate crimes in the U.S are committed against Jews. Numerically speaking that is just not feasible. I suggest you learn to do in-depth research and check sources with greater scrutiny. I suspect you are the type to just read Wikipedia or some other such centralized source, and just believe it. You could refine your research techniques.

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My reaction to your post is: if Teal's message does not resonate with you, then ignore it.  Find your own message that feels good to you.  The amazing thing about this Universe is that all experiences and viewpoints contribute to the expansion that we all want.  It's like an amusement park full of different rides.  Choose the rides you like, and stay off the ones that you don't want to experience.  Then, let other choose their rides as well. 

Peace. :)

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Teal enjoys triggering people and making people uncomfortable. She's said some things that make me uncomfortable, too, but it has more to do with me and my triggers and looking into myself as to why these things bother me and how I can view them differently than it does with her being insensitive. Literally her lifes work is based on triggering people and processing triggers, so Teal is going to do that for you whether you like it or not. 

The fact is that, by admitting to the traumas we have and diving into them, we can understand and heal them. Skirting around the issue and walking on eggshells doesn't heal trauma, it avoids the issue and becomes an elephant in a room.  Pointing out that someone who we consider 'evil' is, in fact, a tortured person, doesn't at all excuse their behavior, but it does lead us to understanding as to how people like that are created so that we can put a stop to it.

I will argue that to deny that Hitler was a traumatized person is to, by proxy, perpetuate the system that allowed Hitler to become who he was, and is therefore, by FAR, more disrespectful and irresponsible to the people who are to this day affected by it.

Edited by lightworker
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@Amazawa and @lightworker very nice responses, I won't elaborate, for you have already saved me some typing.

I come from a Jewish heritage. Just look at my name: Micah Zeidman, go ahead and friend me on fb anyone, if we are not already. Saying that, I will admit that I was triggered the very first time I heard @Tealtalk on the subject of Hitler and the Holocaust. But then again I was new to her teachings and philosophies at the time.

It took me courage to open up my mind to what I was hearing, but at the same time I was more than willing to get to the core of her understanding or mentality. You could imagine the caliber of madness this sounded from my prospective.

Good thing I had already watched several of her videos, so the credit that she lost wasn't enough for me to just write her off as a looney toon. I really thought about what she said for a while and since I was triggered, I let myself marinade in her words for a while. I let go of the emotions associated with something that could be so insulting to someone of my heritage. 

After applying all that I already had acquired inside of my spiritual toolbag at that point, it all came to me, It took a few meditations.

I  encourage you to spread her name to your Jewish friends and when they get to that video (hopefully it's not the very first one), let them decide. Don't give them a disclaimer. Yes, they will probably get triggered but if they don't apply her other philosophies as well, like I did, they are not going to fully understand much more of what she has to offer anyways. I  think you need to do the same. 

It's really a blessing to feel that energy when something that Teal implies resonates with you, but if you don't practice and apply it in your daily life, you are just robbing yourself of a sacred treasure.

Teal is not for everyone, if she was, than this world would be too perfect to even need a Teal Swan in the first place.

Much Love to you and everyone else???

Edited by Micah
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Wow, all of you can't conceive that Teal could have done something wrong? Yall get immediately defensive when I took extra care to both praise Teal and not condemn her fans? You're still in the mire and cannot think for yourself if you are not willing to admit that your idols are imperfect. I explained why she was being irresponsible with the way she presented that information. If she can't deal with feedback, how benevolent is she really? My guess is that she would be willing to receive feedback like this because she seems like someone who genuinely cares. Do you really care about people or are you just practicing Teal's processes to look good? If you can't deal with me giving feedback on what she has said without taking it as a personal insult.... how far down the spiritual path are you really?

Edited by Saul_Tasier

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On 10/21/2016 at 7:17 AM, LaucherJunge said:

I dont see a problem with what she stated it has nothing to do with antisemitism you are wrong on that in my opinion. 
She talked about hitlers drive and there is nothing wrong with knowing his reason it does not mean what he did was right it just shows what we can do to prevent such events.
She never said hitler did it alone but without hitler it most likely would not have happened i am born in poland and live in germany so i had this subject all the time in history lessons and i really do not like people
who still have to whine and make accusations to people who did not even live when it happened not to mention that people were brainwashed by media all the time back then they could not have done much as unconscious as they were and are to this day there is still much going wrong in the world. I know in the US you have your propaganda, the russians have their propaganda and the germans had their own propaganda back then now we have mostly the US propaganda in the media and the majority of people cant do anything against this propaganda, just very few people are in charge of this you should keep your accusations for those people.

I appreciate your perspective as someone who lives in that part of the world and therefore has actually thought about it more than people have in the US. I just don't think Teal has all the knowledge of politics in the material world just because she is extra sensory and very popular. Some celebrities are barely conscious at all. My interpretation of her words is that she is has opinions on a lot of things but she is also uninformed about a lot as well.... you know like a normal person! It's possible to be very spiritually enlightened and be politically unaware or even corrupt. I know it doesn't seem possible but there are very many spiritually powerful people from all points on the political spectrum. They all think their political perspective has credence. I'm sure Teal thinks her perspective is "right" or she wouldn't make a video about it. Even though she doesn't believe in right and wrong? Hmm, anyway, this post was intended to be food for thought. My post was intended to point out that Teal is speaking about the holocaust in a very typical US fashion following American propaganda which has a tendency to severely distort the real events of WWII. Hitler is sickly glorified by liberals and conservatives alike as a topic of study. Everyone is just *fascinated* about analyzing his psychology. Yet for some reason, Stalin, who lead the Soviets to defeat the Nazis, is not nearly as fetishised by Americans. Hell, if I walk into a room and say Stalin everybody jumps out of their skin.... but people love talking about Hitler. They love musing about what a victim he must have been to want to do such terrible things. If I started saying things like that about any other dictator, people would get mad... but they don't get mad about Hitler, because here in America, he's been made a caricature.

Edited by Saul_Tasier

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On 10/21/2016 at 7:47 PM, Micah said:

@Amazawa and @lightworker very nice responses, I won't elaborate, for you have already saved me some typing.

I come from a Jewish heritage. Just look at my name: Micah Zeidman, go ahead and friend me on fb anyone, if we are not already. Saying that, I will admit that I was triggered the very first time I heard @Tealtalk on the subject of Hitler and the Holocaust. But then again I was new to her teachings and philosophies at the time.

It took me courage to open up my mind to what I was hearing, but at the same time I was more than willing to get to the core of her understanding or mentality. You could imagine the caliber of madness this sounded from my prospective.

Good thing I had already watched several of her videos, so the credit that she lost wasn't enough for me to just write her off as a looney toon. I really thought about what she said for a while and since I was triggered, I let myself marinade in her words for a while. I let go of the emotions associated with something that could be so insulting to someone of my heritage. 

After applying all that I already had acquired inside of my spiritual toolbag at that point, it all came to me, It took a few meditations.

I  encourage you to spread her name to your Jewish friends and when they get to that video (hopefully it's not the very first one), let them decide. Don't give them a disclaimer. Yes, they will probably get triggered but if they don't apply her other philosophies as well, like I did, they are not going to fully understand much more of what she has to offer anyways. I  think you need to do the same. 

It's really a blessing to feel that energy when something that Teal implies resonates with you, but if you don't practice and apply it in your daily life, you are just robbing yourself of a sacred treasure.

Teal is not for everyone, if she was, than this world would be too perfect to even need a Teal Swan in the first place.

Much Love to you and everyone else???

Egh but Teal's not perfect? She's not immune to criticism? You don't find it at all weird that she says she's from the tribe of Adonai? She's thinks she's god! I mean, she thinks everyone is god... and that we are all one, but I still wonder her motivations sometimes. I really am trying to work out my feelings on a lot of what she says. It's not just that she has said things that could be incorrect and fucked up about Jewish people, but she has done this for many other disadvantaged groups as well. I understand this is not a reason to condemn somebody, but here's an idea, Maybe she could be wrong on a few things? Like I had said... it's important to question even the people who help you question things. I think it's utterly impossible for anyone to be *perfect* as you say... I would hope to challenge this idea. People have this black and white way of thinking where if I question Teal people are like "well Teals doesn't resonate with you... or Teal's not for everyone.... your vibration isn't high enough blah blah blah." I know that what I'm doing is right for my journey because I was having physical pain thinking about some of the things she said and letting my mind go on this thread has helped me a lot! That's because my healing process includes Teal but is not purely 100% Teal Swan methods. You have to remember that her methods were passed on to her from source but are ultimately filtered though her perspective. So while she is presenting good information, she is presenting it with the tools she was given on this material plane. Words, pictures, youtube. All of these mediums leave room for human error, and while right and wrong may not "exist" objectively... in the context of our material reality, these concepts still matter. Anyway, I'm glad to hear a Jewish perspective on this. I am still thinking about how to pass these concepts on to my friends. Thank you and be well.

On 10/21/2016 at 1:11 PM, lightworker said:

Teal enjoys triggering people and making people uncomfortable. She's said some things that make me uncomfortable, too, but it has more to do with me and my triggers and looking into myself as to why these things bother me and how I can view them differently than it does with her being insensitive. Literally her lifes work is based on triggering people and processing triggers, so Teal is going to do that for you whether you like it or not. 

The fact is that, by admitting to the traumas we have and diving into them, we can understand and heal them. Skirting around the issue and walking on eggshells doesn't heal trauma, it avoids the issue and becomes an elephant in a room.  Pointing out that someone who we consider 'evil' is, in fact, a tortured person, doesn't at all excuse their behavior, but it does lead us to understanding as to how people like that are created so that we can put a stop to it.

I will argue that to deny that Hitler was a traumatized person is to, by proxy, perpetuate the system that allowed Hitler to become who he was, and is therefore, by FAR, more disrespectful and irresponsible to the people who are to this day affected by it.

I didn't deny Hitler was traumatized, go back and read what I wrote. Also, speaking about the holocaust casually and spreading misconceptions about (that the holocaust was caused by Hitler's trauma) is not the same thing as exposure therapy. Exposure therapy is done deliberately as a process. I agree that people should not avoid triggers. I also simultaneously hold the belief that the Holocaust is a complex topic that should never be glossed over in such a way.

Edited by Saul_Tasier

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On 10/21/2016 at 0:45 PM, Amazawa said:

My reaction to your post is: if Teal's message does not resonate with you, then ignore it.  Find your own message that feels good to you.  The amazing thing about this Universe is that all experiences and viewpoints contribute to the expansion that we all want.  It's like an amusement park full of different rides.  Choose the rides you like, and stay off the ones that you don't want to experience.  Then, let other choose their rides as well. 

Peace. :)

I get what your are saying, but right now Teal's videos are a go-to for me and I'm really just trying to put perspective into the community of her admirers. I really like what Teals has to say most of the time, it's just that I see people putting her on a pedestal and completely eating up everything she has to say without questioning it! I also know people on the other end of the spectrum who would write her off completely for being "problematic". I'm not writing her off I just think that there's a bit of nuance here that is not being acknowledged.

Edited by Saul_Tasier

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Look i really do understand where you are coming from but it is just your projection that we just eat up everything teal says and do not question it at all. The very reason why i am on this forum and take her advise is because she in fact encourages everyone to have his very own perspective and this is what everybody in this thread offers to you we do not offer teals perspective to you but we offer our own perspective but you just put it off as if we would be brainwashed or something, no it is just what we think about this subject atleast for me it is the case everyone should talk for himself..

Sure Teal thinks she is god because this is the fundamental truth of truths ask anybody who is enlightened and he will tell you the same thing you are nothing/everything I am able to realize this by my pure logic and intuition thats the reason i am not elightened but i understand this concept in my mind some people may not be capable of this and thats fine but it becomes a problem if they start insulting just because they do not understand this.

The thing about your vibraition not being high enough or not resonating is just an other way maybe a higher dimensional perspective on things that you just dont like it because of your gathered belifes/experiences/spirituality so far it might change one day thats why it is better to say you dont resonate because you dont automatically encourage the person to become biased against teal to some extent.

People admire Teal for a simple reason what she says is resonating with us on a higher scale than anything else in this materialistic world ever has, it is that simple.
And i am not biased at all towards teal she is just one of many teacher i admire. She is just the best spiritual teacher on a psychological level in my opinion which is really needed in the world at this moment in time.
Another teacher who i admire is Sadhguru his wisdom seems out of this earth. The next would be Leo Gura who has a highly logical and carefully explained view on spirituality which is probably the perfect way for very scientific or atheistic people. Shinzen Young probably the best teacher you could have in matters of meditation techniques. Ralph Smart if your way is the way of positive focus he is your man! And of course Eckhart Tolle he is the perfect teacher for people who have suffered a lot the present moment will be your safe place.
I dont put any of those up in the sky as Sadhguru even taught his daughter dont put anyone above you or under you and throw your beliefs out of the window every single day.
 

Edited by LaucherJunge
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3 hours ago, Saul_Tasier said:

I'm really just trying to put perspective into the community of her admirers.

Why do you feel the need to do this?  Why change others when they are where they are because that is where they want to be?  Why not turn that focus to yourself?  Use it to be where you want to be.

I don't put Teal on a pedestal.  I completely love her when she tells me to be my own guru and find my own truths.  

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Every spiritual teacher will tell you exactly the same thing Teal says about Hitler and the Holocaust, too, it's not just an opinion Teal holds. Abraham Hicks say the same thing as well, as will every single other spiritual teacher in the same vein. 

I don't see anyone putting Teal on a pedestal in this thread, I see individuals who are sharing their thoughts and conclusions with you, which you don't get to say whether or not they questioned as you couldn't possibly know that. You will never be the others' shoes like that, you do not know our life experiences. From what it looks like to me, you don't want to question your views either, but I have no idea whether or not that is true and I wouldn't just assume that about you by looking at your posts. Did you start the thread to vent or did you start it for discussion? If it was to vent, then keep doing it, it's very healthy. 

'Problematic' people are our mirrors. Everyone can be problematic, even you, being 'problematic' to to others is part of being human. They are here to show you your triggers. You can choose to go into those triggers and find the root, or you can let them bother you. There is no wrong choice. The way other people think and behave and believe is ultimately their problem and not something that needs to bother you if you don't want it to.

:)

Edited by lightworker
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Just adding one more person's $0.02 here ... I don't think that Teal (or anybody else) has a responsibility to hold any historical event (or even current event) in any certain light, especially for the sake of shouldering somebody else's pain.  It is nobody's job to adapt to support another's pain.  The point is to move beyond it - not undo it, not disown it, just stop making it a stopping point.  No event, no matter how traumatic, is a resting place for building all of one's future life around.  My personal opinion is that cancer "survivors" do this incessantly, mostly (if not solely) because of conditioning: "I had cancer" becomes the central pillar around which all future days of their lives unfold.  Cancer is an outer reflection of internal issues and therefore is not, in and of itself, an "enemy to be destroyed."  Likewise, being involved in the Holocaust was, ultimately, just another outward reflection of internal conditions.  Acknowledging one's victim status is doing no favors for anybody.  Perpetuating those effects, coddling those experiencing them, etc. isn't helping either.  I would never presume to make light of somebody having been through that.  Nor would I simply dismiss it.  But I would still ultimately have the goal - spoken or not - that the experience needs to be integrated then moved beyond.  Not kept alive and revered as the limit of what they are capable of becoming.  "You withstood this or that experience so your work here is done; that's all you ever need to become."  NOT!  To presume that others have not been through worse is equally arrogant - just because it was not so outwardly dramatic in no way diminishes the potential impact an experience has or had on any given individual.  It is not a case of "well you didn't go through the Holocaust and I did so I'm more special than you."  There is no entitlement based on severity of experience.  We all have our traumas and it is nobody's place to assign a rating system to them.  Nobody is obligated to walk on eggshells and process another's experience in a way that works for the person having the experience.

Respect and common courtesy are a choice, not an obligation.  

Further, to go through an experience with x number of people all in the exact same boat has a huge effect on making it more bearable.  Never "easy," but certainly a world apart from enduring a devastating trauma that nobody else experiences, and very often with most or all others deciding for you that you are "overreacting" and telling you how bad it should or should not be while having no experience of it themselves.  

It is all an endlessly convoluted subject, the response of one to the trauma of another.  Suffice it to say that nobody has an inherent obligation to hold another's pain in any given light because who decides what the "proper" response is?  With that decision, life becomes a dictatorship and we cease to be our natural selves, destroying the entire purpose of being here at all.

Edited by Dirty_Harry
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