Lisette Nilsson

How can I stop feeling so lonely and cut off from everybody else?

14 posts in this topic

Hi everybody,

I recently submitted this question to "Ask Teal", but I would lie to hear your view on it as well:

How do I stop feeling so lonely, cut off and different from everybody else? How do I stop judging everybody I meet as someone who "is not like me", "not my type", "not spiritual/'overly' spiritual", "won't understand me" and "someone I'm not compatible with"? How can I start approaching the people I meet with genuine curiosity, love and a sense of "he/she is like me", instead of feeling afraid of people, putting up walls and being scared of opening myself up? Wherever I go, whether it's the supermarket, my job or any kind of social gatherings, I feel like I will never find someone whom I can have a deep, real, loving friendship with. I feel like I will never find my "tribe". I know this sounds awful, but it's like I have this belief whenever I'm around people that they are all "materialistic, unawakened, shallow, unaware, narrow-minded, meat-eating people who are not spiritually developed, not self-aware and who only care about getting drunk and getting laid on a Friday evening, or, if they are a bit deeper, starting a family, getting a house and making a career for themselves as a lawyer and working in the same office at the same job until the day they die (without ever having lived at all). Again, I know this sounds awful and super judgmental but I want to tell the truth about how I feel, I'm sure many of you can relate. 

Any advice is highly appreciated. Thanks a lot  <3 

Lisette 

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Well hi Lisette, i don't think you're necessarily being judgemental, just calling it how you see it. So stop blaming yourself for the way world is. Perhaps you are right about them after all. Finding your tribe, now thats a tricky part. But if you need someone to talk to feel free to message. Best wishes!

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Lovely Lisette,

You can not stop feeling it. Please do nothing against your feelings, against your judgements. No spiritual practise.

Go to the market, jump into the crowd and listen and stay as long as you feel you do not care about the noise, the way how the people act around you.

Always represent yourself, be yourself, does not matter what situation you are.Does not matter what stage you are.

Xx

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2 hours ago, Lisette Nilsson said:

Hi everybody,

I recently submitted this question to "Ask Teal", but I would lie to hear your view on it as well:

How do I stop feeling so lonely, cut off and different from everybody else? How do I stop judging everybody I meet as someone who "is not like me", "not my type", "not spiritual/'overly' spiritual", "won't understand me" and "someone I'm not compatible with"? How can I start approaching the people I meet with genuine curiosity, love and a sense of "he/she is like me", instead of feeling afraid of people, putting up walls and being scared of opening myself up? Wherever I go, whether it's the supermarket, my job or any kind of social gatherings, I feel like I will never find someone whom I can have a deep, real, loving friendship with. I feel like I will never find my "tribe". I know this sounds awful, but it's like I have this belief whenever I'm around people that they are all "materialistic, unawakened, shallow, unaware, narrow-minded, meat-eating people who are not spiritually developed, not self-aware and who only care about getting drunk and getting laid on a Friday evening, or, if they are a bit deeper, starting a family, getting a house and making a career for themselves as a lawyer and working in the same office at the same job until the day they die (without ever having lived at all). Again, I know this sounds awful and super judgmental but I want to tell the truth about how I feel, I'm sure many of you can relate. 

Any advice is highly appreciated. Thanks a lot  <3 

Lisette 

loneliness often comes from a disconnection with the self. So maybe try spending some time cultivating your passions and listening to your hearts wants and needs.

Also, acknowledging similarities and the positive intention behind people's actions can help. For example people go out clubbing and getting pissed because they want to experience joy or want to find love, stay in dead end jobs because maybe they love their co-workers or they're afraid of what being unemployed might mean about them. Everyone is on their own path, and honestly it's fine if that path includes being judgemental!! If you have the intention to be less so trust it'll happen when the time is right.

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Hi, umm it is how You think it is. So tell yourself a different story but be positive.....and laugh a lot, the angels like to hear you laugh. Law of attraction is at work here so you get back what you give so be positive to get positive...could take a while to come so be patient.  Blessings to you.

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HI Lisette, I can relate to what you're going through. I'll tell you what's been helping me, which is in no way a truth that is applicable for everyone since we all have different experiences. For me, it has been more a matter of accepting that this is where I am and how I feel right now, meaning this is precisely the kind of experience I'm supposed to be having . It has also been increasing the value I give to feeling connected to other people. Somedays are better than others, but from previous experiences, I say this is what we could call a "phase" or a "cycle". Looking straight at the uncomfortable feelings and extracting lessons and preferences are a good way to focus on what you want too -- and to feel it. In the right moment, the right people will show up. Best wishes!

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I can relate too. I try not to judge but sometimes it's aggravating not having many people around me who aren't awake as I am. But I know that I am not perfect and shouldn't expect them to be. Practice understanding. Also search for what makes you happy. Follow your dreams and the universe will reveal the type of people your looking for. Also, probably my most important piece of advice is this, never stop looking. Never assume someone is or isn't a certain way. Just like someone has to get to know you to know your depths, you must get to know them. Even if they aren't enlightened like you are, as long as they don't bring negativity into your own life they can serve you a purpose and you can serve them too. You never know, you may be just what someone needs to see the light. Never give up! You can message me if you feel like trying to connect and share perspectives. :D

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Hi! I had felt like this for a while, too. But over time I stopped feeling so lonely. Not necessarily because I found people who thought like me but because I stopped looking at people as "awake" or "not awake" and tried seeing what people could offer me instead. By doing that I've learned so much from other people and started looking at life from a different perspective. A person working a dead end job could still teach you how to have better relationships. A person who just goes clubbing every night could teach you how to let go of resistance and just live life in the moment. You never know what you could find when you start opening up to people and start digging to find what's below the surface. Even when someone isn't as awake they could still show you something about the world that you couldn't see before.

I also started focusing on myself instead of everything that was going on around me. I started doing the things I liked and going places that interested me and experiencing new things. By doing that I've met really interesting people (not necessarily my "tribe") and discovered my potential. I didn't feel lonely or cut off from the world when i was fully submerging myself in it.

My point is when you stop focusing at the problem you'll start finding solutions. If you stop worrying about never finding people like you and start opening up to the world eventually you will start feeling more fulfilled. I hope this helped!

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On 6/13/2016 at 0:40 PM, Lisette Nilsson said:

How do I stop feeling so lonely, cut off and different from everybody else? How do I stop judging everybody I meet as someone who "is not like me", "not my type", "not spiritual/'overly' spiritual", "won't understand me" and "someone I'm not compatible with"? How can I start approaching the people I meet with genuine curiosity, love and a sense of "he/she is like me", instead of feeling afraid of people, putting up walls and being scared of opening myself up? Wherever I go, whether it's the supermarket, my job or any kind of social gatherings, I feel like I will never find someone whom I can have a deep, real, loving friendship with. I feel like I will never find my "tribe".

@Lisette Nilsson Hi, and welcome. :) I'm just going to go with my gut here, and say that a deep aspect of really diving deep into getting to know yourself in this stage of authentic awareness means feeling the way you're feeling, and beginning to sense a kind of separation between you and those you don't resonate with. At first, it's really alarming, but it doesn't mean it's a 'bad' thing. The feeling of loneliness is perfectly natural, and it's alright to feel that way. The waves of 'negative' internal dialogue can surface based on what we've absorbed growing up, or from peers over time. It can be really painful to keep hearing those messages repeating over and over again internally, when you're so deserving of love. You're reaching out here, which is an amazing step towards building a kind support system, and I know that I've been in the 'wilderness' or alone for many legs of my journey before now, that I wouldn't wish on anyone. 

I've been received here in this forum with open arms, and so much love, I'd love to extend that to you as well. For me, I had to feel solitude to break free of the relationships, and types of relationships that no longer served me. This is a wonderful place to vent, and to emote kindly during that process as it occurs. 

Happy to have you, very grateful to call this my 'tribe,' and invite you to consider this as yours, if you feel comfortable doing so. Much love. :x

 

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Hi @Lisette Nilsson, i have a story to share that might answer your question because i have felt that way too...

I went to visit my friend the sea today and asked it (actually myself) what lesson i needed to learn and it actually spoke to me. It was a massive epiphany. It said, look the sea does not care about the opinions of others, it does not feel inadequate because it knows that it is so vast and powerful and yet gentle enough to heal. Some see it as a murderer, some see it as a source of energy, some see it as calming, some see it as a beautiful mass of wonder. 

Now who is treated good or bad or neutral by the sea? Nobody, it just is! Those who love it flow with it, those who don't either leave or break under its power!

I am an ocean! I seem like just another person, but i have a whole being and universe of diversity and experience inside me! I must flow with my own rhythm! Whatever happens, would have happened anyway, what i create i can handle, what i did not create will either flow in alignment with me or past me!  If i judge or scrutinize others, i direct my flow away from me and into a place i am not familiar with, resulting in a loss for me! 

You see, what i learned is that what i think of others is a mirror of the things i am subconsciously not happy with in my own life, and i am the only one who can decide to dig and identify it and then take action in order for the same feeling not to surface again... But i can move that focus easily too if i do not want to dig or identify...

Move the focus to getting back in the flow or alignment with me and my universe and not with theirs which honestly we have no say over in the first place right?

If all else fails, i try to simply try to imagine what kind of thing must have happened to them to make them this way and then i empathise instead of criticise which i am sure is a higher vibration too.

Hope it helps. xx

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Hi @Lisette Nilsson,

It is a gift that we receive whenever other peoples make us angry or uncomfortables. 

Anytime we get angry about something it is our subconscious mind that talks to us  highlighting  some  aspects about ourself, our hiden beliefs. 

When somebody says or does something to us which upset us, chances are that inside we believe that something is true. 

Think about: if you feel good enough, if you have high self-estime, if you feel worthy  and somebody calls you stupid..... you gonna probably laugh. How you feel has nothing to do with anything external to you, it has everything to do with your own interpretation.  If you don't like me that has nothing to do with me has everything to do with you.  Remember that negatives only have power over you when you react to them..Stop the critics outside and inside about anything, be your authentic self regardless if others like or not, stop trying to fit in standards;

 Love yourself for what you are, spread Love seeds and watter them everyday and Love is going to grow in your garden. 

Peace & Love GS

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