lightworker

Can other people violate your boundaries?

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I was wondering this, considering that we attract everything into our lives, is it possible for other people to violate your boundaries? Or is it always you who violate your own boundaries? 

For example, I prefer living in a place where the neighbors are quiet. That's a boundary of mine. If some noisy neighbors move in, who is violating that boundary? Is it them or me? They are the ones being loud, but perhaps for them one of their boundaries is that they live in a place where they can play music as loudly as they wanted (in which case, they violate their own boundary by moving into a place where it's a requirement to keep the noise down)? So, really, since we attract everything with LOA, am I violating my own boundary by having noisy neighbors? If so, how? I'm not responsible for others' behavior, even if I am a vibrational match to it.

So, is being a vibrational match to disrespect a violation of my desire to be respected? I think I know the answer, but I'd love to hear yours :) 

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to me boundary is the edge of my bubble. i can keep it up like a force shield if i want/need to, but generally i don't, because while creating a safe space for me, it is, at the same time, a personal prison. so i see having strong boundaries more like a skill than a goal. 

what does boundary mean to you? i am asking, because what you describe as a boundary, i see as a personal preference.

to clearly understand your question, i have to first understand your definitions.

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Boundaries are personal preferences. If I prefer wearing green over yellow and I wear yellow, I've violated a boundary. I'm using Teal's definition of boundaries.

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17 hours ago, lightworker said:

I was wondering this, considering that we attract everything into our lives, is it possible for other people to violate your boundaries? Or is it always you who violate your own boundaries? 

For example, I prefer living in a place where the neighbors are quiet. That's a boundary of mine. If some noisy neighbors move in, who is violating that boundary? Is it them or me? They are the ones being loud, but perhaps for them one of their boundaries is that they live in a place where they can play music as loudly as they wanted (in which case, they violate their own boundary by moving into a place where it's a requirement to keep the noise down)? So, really, since we attract everything with LOA, am I violating my own boundary by having noisy neighbors? If so, how? I'm not responsible for others' behavior, even if I am a vibrational match to it.

So, is being a vibrational match to disrespect a violation of my desire to be respected? I think I know the answer, but I'd love to hear yours.

I cite Thomas once again:

    •    Truth isn’t relative or subjective, there is a definite framework truth that can be discovered through experience, observation, experimentation, reason, and intuitive revelation.
    •    Ethics isn’t relative or subjective, there is a divine framework of right and wrong of which our human ethics and morals are but a crude approximation.

 

If we apply these insights to the given problem (noisy neighbour) we might end up with: "The freedom of one ends where it restricts the freedom of another!"

There is no freedom to play music as loudly as I want when living close to other people. If I have such a preference (load music) I need to move into a single house in a rural landscape far away from anyone else or find another solution (e.g. sufficient sound insulation) for making sure that I do not prevent my neighbour from sleeping, meditating, learning,... or whatever he likes to do. It's my responsibility to respect the boundaries of others or my boundaries won't be respected by others as well and we end up with a lot of friction (living in hell). 

It's challenging to live close to unconscious and ignorant (noisy) people. I suggest manifesting an environment of people that respect the freedom of others (e.g. an intentional community). 

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42 minutes ago, Andreas H. said:

I suggest manifesting an environment of people that respect the freedom of others (e.g. an intentional community). 

I would LOVE to manifest an intentional community! I live alone right now and I infinitely prefer living with other people, by far. I have no idea where do begin with that though, my current circle of friends aren't really up to something like that, so I'd like to find a whole new group of people :)

I really appreciate your answer @Andreas H.

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4 hours ago, Trinity Anderson said:

 "There are no personal boundaries in an infinite universe."- Teal Swan 

Disagree. 

I am sure all of you after certain age became aware that you want to use bathrooms privately without anyone following you there. 

Boundaries  have a lot to do with each individual preferences. 

There was a topic here somewhere about rightness and i was going to say something there, but i think I am just going to sum this up.

Every experience is different, so every person has his own sense of rightness about it. It is all good if the person lives alone or far away from everybody. But we don't live like that (okay, i know some people do). So, in oder for us to live collectively we must understand and accept others, and also work on finding solutions.

18 hours ago, lightworker said:

I was wondering this, considering that we attract everything into our lives, is it possible for other people to violate your boundaries? 

Yes. But most people have no clue untill you speak about it.

18 hours ago, lightworker said:

Or is it always you who violate your own boundaries? 

If you don't speak out, then it is you.

18 hours ago, lightworker said:

 

For example, I prefer living in a place where the neighbors are quiet. That's a boundary of mine. If some noisy neighbors move in, who is violating that boundary? Is it them or me? They are the ones being loud, but perhaps for them one of their boundaries is that they live in a place where they can play music as loudly as they wanted 

I am myself LOVE my music very loud! But, as i mentioned above, i am not living in the middle of nowhere, and i know that there are certain rules in the community  (i think it's no loud noises  after 11pm), so i am using my headphones to satisfy my need. To me this is logical! The same would be when ,for example, someone wants to watch tv the next room.

18 hours ago, lightworker said:

, since we attract everything with LOA, am I violating my own boundary by having noisy neighbors? If so, how? I'm not responsible for others' behavior, even if I am a vibrational match to it.

This is actually  very interesting to me. Because i think noise in your case is what's trying to get your attention to your neighbors. 

I've had a "noisy " and very troubled situation at our previous place (right side of the back yard). My own examination of the four sides around me showed how i actually could relate to each house. I finally accepted it and a shift happened.... Just moved to a new place and what's interesting is that there's no house on  the right side)) 

So, I highly encourage everyone to take a look at your neighbors!

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41 minutes ago, Garnet said:

i think noise in your case is what's trying to get your attention to your neighbors. 

It's still quite a challenge for me too see *why* the universe is trying to get my attention via contrasting situations. It took me 4 years of a neglectful, manipulative relationship with a narcissist for me to realize that the universe was telling me to give validation to myself, and not to try to make someone who could never validate me in the way that I wanted love me and validate me. Not that I regret coming to realize that at all... but it doesn't come easy for me to see what exactly it is that I'm needing to see. Is that normal? I'm not sure exactly what the universe is trying to say to me by showing me rude neighbors besides "you have a pattern of feeling disrespected and unheard". AH. As soon as I wrote that, I realized that's what it is.

I recently watched the livestream of Teal's Vancouver workshop from a year or two ago, and there was a girl in a striped shirt with a pixie cute who wanted to start a summer camp for indigenous children, but she couldn't find what was blocking her from realizing that. I really resonated with that segment, because her block ended up being her lack of vulnerability. I feel like that's me, I bury my emotions beneath what I think they should be or what I want them to be, and I end up confusing myself and other people and not realizing how I'm actually getting what I'm getting because I literally cannot see it because I've refused to acknowledge it. I've gotten much better about that in the past month or two. Teal's advice to her was to ask herself with everything, 'what would someone who loves themselves do?' which is something I've been practicing for  month or so with a lot of interesting results.

 

@Trinity Anderson I love that process! You did a good job :) You're good at it!

 

1 hour ago, Garnet said:

My own examination of the four sides around me showed how i actually could relate to each house. I finally accepted it and a shift happened.... Just moved to a new place and what's interesting is that there's no house on  the right side)) 

Could you go deeper into this if you feel like it? I find this really fascinating. So, you basically looked at all 4 sides of your backyard and said 'what does the right side mean to me, what does the left side mean to me', etc? And if, for example, the right side was somehow problematic, you did processes until you accepted how the problematic behavior was a reflection of yourself?

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On 10/6/2016 at 8:44 PM, lightworker said:

 

Could you go deeper into this if you feel like it? I find this really fascinating. So, you basically looked at all 4 sides of your backyard and said 'what does the right side mean to me, what does the left side mean to me', etc? And if, for example, the right side was somehow problematic, you did processes until you accepted how the problematic behavior was a reflection of yourself?

No, it's different for me :)

The environment of every place I've ever lived in has always "spoke" to me. By consciously  looking around you can read past, present, future and now. I was aware of it before i read about mirrored reality. After that it made more sense to me of what was i seeing and feeling.

Every house/ building has a story. Walls and floors can look like skin of a body. Because of this skin feeling it's been hard for me to choose the right place to live. I always gravitate to freshly painted walls because when you rent you usually cannot do this changes.

I fell in love with the backyard of our previous place. Didn't even see the inside of it. But i knew it was what i needed, and i was right. I've spent majority of my time there. 

The house was across the funeral home. So, this what i saw if facing the backyard. 

There was a school teacher living to the left - i ended up homeschooling our son. In 4 years we've only spoke to each other maybe twice. The neighbor behind was a lovely cat lady with the husband who absolutely adored her craziness . I got to know her because one of my cats got trapped in her garage. 

Neighbors to the right... i don't know where to begin here. Always somebody moving in and out there. Couldn't keep their dogs properly contained. I was crying when animal control showed up. Loud. Parties. Drinking. Drugs. Breaking into cars and homes. At one time we even found evidence in our yard during police search at their property. 

How do i relate to all this? 

I am a lawbreaker :D

P.S. currently exploring our new place. It gave me panic attacks from the very first moment I've stepped into the backyard here )))

 

 

 

 

 

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I think there is a bit confusion over the exact meaning of boundries or space.

What Teal means with no need for boundries is that you dont put effort in setting those boundries.

But ofcourse you have a space for yourself you can make it as big as you want and by doing that whitout effort or force or fear it will be automaticly respected.

 

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