thetigress

Problems with making female friends how to make healthier female friends

5 posts in this topic

I have a separate question. As I have been studying Teal's videos, I have been having issues with friendships particular with women. All of my past friendships have lasted 1-2 yrs and seems their true colors show a lot. My longest friendships were over 10 yrs currently and one I ended in 09 because of toxic abuse from that woman. Most female friends I have had in my life have either have traits like my mom abusive, narcissistic, emotional issues, or just very codependent. I am still seeing how making female friends is still toxic; like this one married couple I know we are no longer friends, the wife has a lot of deep issue reminds me of my mom not to the full extent but the attitude is there.  I kept having my tummy acting up around her not all the time, but sometimes.I don't have a prob making female friends just have a prob if she is codependent or is abusive, which I am still attracting. My own issues are I am still having codependent tendencies been working on myself which is not easy to get rid of that trait; how do I attract more positive women to make as friends into my life?

Basically, my friendships in general need to be more healthy tired of the abusive friends I have been making only seeing their true colors until later. I need better boundaries, been trying to figure out myself by writing down wants and needs, thinking of needing to add a section of what I won't tolerate hard to do that when I just get silent when I get mistreated it was a weapon used against me for years as it makes me feel so defeated. My trust was destroyed by the married woman, I have been wanting to rebuild trust as I do have trust issues. I want to be able to trust people just like they want to be able to trust me.

Edited by thetigress
  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, work on yourself and also focus on yourself. Follow what you like and what feels good. Ignore what does not. If that means you disagree with a "friend" so be it. Their job is to make themselves happy. Your job is to make yourself happy.

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Agreed hence is why I am still studying Teal's videos. I will keep working on myself, they tarnished my name, doesn't mean I can't improve myself and make myself a better person.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Watch Teal's video on boundaries. It helped me a lot to write down my boundaries and to become better at  knowing and enforcing them with myself. After you do that, take a good, long look at how you view the women in your life, particularly your mother. Do what feels best to you, whether that be writing, or the Completion Process, or other shadow works processes, or a combination of all 3. :)

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nothing against writing things down. But remember, the only thing in existence is the now. A good tip I received myself is to do things and then write things down after having tried things. At least then you are reporting from the past now vs. only imagining things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now