Jerry Tyfting

ALL attachment, is a fight

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I have simplyfied attachment and what it is. Well it can be looked at from this perspective. If someone famous have found this perspective before me, let me know.

ALL attachments is a fight or fighting.
(and now a long in-depth description for that simple thing :P )

The moment you attach yourself to anything, you are then fighting to protect and maintain it.
Depending on how much and how deeply you attach that is how much you are willing to fight to keep things as they are.

Now you can attach to behaviors too. Imagen growing up in an ego based family that associate attachment for deep love...i mean you have got to protect the one you love right?

From how i see it, you cant fully or genuinly love with something like this.
Because fighting is not love.
Unless you love to fight...but ego tend to do that. It wants to fight, heck it can abuse you to keep you away from the thing it wants to protect.

Lets say you were born into a family who never could accept themselves or never could get emotionally close to their inner children.
In order for you to get "love" from them you have got to condition yourself to that standard of avoidance and un-accaptance because that is when you can get close to them and their way of being.

Lets say you eventually get away from that family and start going in to yourself. Your personality wont allow you to do that because you have been conditioned with avoidance. In fact you are most likely attached to the idea of: that is love.
It was critically necessary for you to emotionally survive as a child to adopt their view of love and happines.

This is where you are going to fight to protect the very thing that was so important for your survival. And when it comes to "love" and "closeness" you know that kind of personality will use every trick in the book to get you to avoid getting actually close to yourself.

Your personality can use literally everything to maintain that attachment like:

denial, addictions, self abuse, anger, distractions, coping other attachments to other things.
Heck even the pure focus on that personality itself, since your focus is there that soft spot is safe. It can also be the fighting it focuses on just to avoid genuine closeness.

What is love then you may ask?
For me love is the absence of attachment, judgement and fights.

The moment you acknowledge, validate and appreciate this ego or personality. It will lessen the intensity of fighting to protect.
To tell it that you are there with her/him so there is no need to fight any longer. That it is ok to finally let go and rest.

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