jessicaraelyn1111

Tips for Getting Over a Bruised Ego

7 posts in this topic

Tips for Getting Over a Bruised Ego

So I finally started putting myself out there by trying to meet romantic partners online. I ended up having a great connection with this one guy. Well turns out I think he was only interested in me to appease his sexual desires. He ends up moving to another state the next day!!! And i found out through his social media he already has a gf there. So here's what I need help with:

                  1. How can I be that bad at reading someone's intentions? He made me feel so comfortable, understood, and desired. Now I see it as manipulation and I feel like a fool.

                 2. I feel like I never measure up. Any tips on how to be more approving of myself?? 

 

 Love to you all!!!B

 

Edited by jessicaraelyn1111

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2 hours ago, jessicaraelyn1111 said:

Tips for Getting Over a Bruised Ego

So I finally started putting myself out there by trying to meet romantic partners online. I ended up having a great connection with this one guy. Well turns out I think he was only interested in me to appease his sexual desires. He ends up moving to another state the next day!!! And i found out through his social media he already has a gf there. So here's what I need help with:

                  1. How can I be that bad at reading someone's intentions? He made me feel so comfortable, understood, and desired. Now I see it as manipulation and I feel like a fool.

                 2. I feel like I never measure up. Any tips on how to be more approving of myself?? 

 

 Love to you all!!!B

 

The best way is to talk to this guy honestly...to find the root cause of his actions. Let there be communication.

If we start measuring up then we cant love with complete submission. Tips would be: a real lover gets hurt even cries and cant sleep if you misunderstand him. So you can test him by saying anything that comes from misunderstanding. 

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@jessicaraelyn1111, there are no guarantees in life. we just like to think there are, for the sake of feeling safe. 

4 hours ago, jessicaraelyn1111 said:

How can I be that bad at reading someone's intentions? He made me feel so comfortable, understood, and desired. Now I see it as manipulation and I feel like a fool. 

you did have a nice time, that's real. and what have you lost? a possible future? that never happened, so it can't be lost. 

you can look at any experience however you want and that becomes your life.  what's the point of beating yourself up for something someone else does? 

you may have learned something from the experience. what is up to you. for instance, you could look your future date in the eyes and ask what's their intention. or check their social media before you meet them. or just let it all flow and see where it takes you. there is no perfect recipe , no one size fits all. 

give your heart what your heart wants. the heart is wise, even if the mind always tries to mock it.

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You had a nice time but your expectations weren't met and so you focus on your disappointment rather than being able to accept the gift of time together and affection unconditionally. Perhaps it was only on his last night in town that he could be so kind and caring and if he were still here this morning he would not be nearly so satisfying!

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6 hours ago, Amit said:

The best way is to talk to this guy honestly...to find the root cause of his actions. Let there be communication.

If we start measuring up then we cant love with complete submission. Tips would be: a real lover gets hurt even cries and cant sleep if you misunderstand him. So you can test him by saying anything that comes from misunderstanding. 

I hear what you're saying and there is a part of me that wants to reach out and ask him what his intentions were. However, the bigger part of me is wanting to cut all communication with this guy, put him in the past, and just move on.....since he did so already. 

4 hours ago, mufhry said:

@jessicaraelyn1111, there are no guarantees in life. we just like to think there are, for the sake of feeling safe. 

you did have a nice time, that's real. and what have you lost? a possible future? that never happened, so it can't be lost. 

you can look at any experience however you want and that becomes your life.  what's the point of beating yourself up for something someone else does? 

you may have learned something from the experience. what is up to you. for instance, you could look your future date in the eyes and ask what's their intention. or check their social media before you meet them. or just let it all flow and see where it takes you. there is no perfect recipe , no one size fits all. 

give your heart what your heart wants. the heart is wise, even if the mind always tries to mock it.

Wow. That's a great way of looking at it. Thank you for sharing that perspective...I definitely needed that!  My heart would have liked to continue to get to know this guy but now that he's moved on I feel obliged to move on as well. 

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Yes it is hard to break such cycles but one way to do so in to use disappointment as a trigger for reciting a mantra of positive affirmations. Doing this repeatedly will eventually lead your mind to automatically skip straight to the positive feelings created by the affirmation. I've used this in addiction treatment where the desire to drink or drug triggers a litany of consequences and a feeling of thankfulness for not having to experience them and a feeling of power in obtaining self control. Teal explains this in much more detail in the completion process.

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