jjnkjgray

Can an intimate relationship between a narcissist and an Empath ever work?

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Can an intimate relationship between a narcissist and an Empath ever work?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. Things started out very well. He helped me realize a lot of my abilities and encouraged my spiritual journey. We began to encounter problems in the relationship. He discovered and identified himself as a narcissist. Not only has he been able to identify this, he is on a journey of spiritual discovery to change the negative aspects associated with this trait. I am an Empath. I can absorb his sometimes strong negative emotions and can intuitively feel his sometimes bad intentions. We are both committed to spiritual growth and self discovery and take positive actions every day to achieve growth and enlightenment. I've read and seen many videos that describe the toxicity of this combination in a relationship. Is there ever a time, when both are committed to spiritual growth, that this relationship can be healthy and successful? And if so what course should each of us individually persue to establish that?

Edited by jjnkjgray

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I would say that if he is committed to awareness and change, this is a big step in the right direction. For you, I would say it is of utmost importance to be as objective as possible about whether or not he really is committed to change though, or if he is just saying this to keep you around.

Words are one thing, actions are another. My experience with narcissists is they will say anything they want while doing very little to merit their words. So, while his words might be getting you all excited, don't lose touch. Make sure that you look for physical evidence that he is working to overcome it.

Narcissists' hallmark traits consist of being abusive and controlling, so I would encourage you to ask that if that is the case, realize the longer you stay, the more damage can be done. On the other hand, if he does have empathy, and is not abusive, is he really a narcissist?

 I am asking a question about narcissism vs self-absorption in another topic. I would like to define more clearly what Narcissist means. What makes him think he is a narcissist? Do you think he is a narcissist? How is he going to be working to overcome this? All these are valid questions to be asking.

Edited by Tessa Rae
detalis
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On 9/15/2016 at 10:05 AM, jjnkjgray said:

Things started out very well. He helped me realize a lot of my abilities and encouraged my spiritual journey. 

This tells me that he is already empathic. Plus most narcissistic people want to keep their partner emotions down.  This way they can have their power over another.

So, since you're already on this journey together, maybe you need gradually balance your personalities by adopting each other's qualities.

@jjnkjgray you, as an empath, can influence others around you, especially when you enjoy something as a woman . For ex., you can eat tiramisu without a word, but your excitement  can be so intense  that all the sudden people around want the same dessert. 

As an empath you not only receive but you also have the ability send images, emotions and feelings to others.

Narcissistic people often put a shield around thinking that nothing can go through it. Not true. And you already know this. 

My husband and I have a game we like to play. When we go out we would pick a person or a couple and we would describe what we feel about them, their life, relationship etc. Or we would think about someone and guess what he/she is doing, and text that person and check.

@jjnkjgray try to apply this game and teach him about people.  This will unfold his empathic abilities more and more. The more he becomes empathic, the less narcissistic he can be. You will feel it by him paying more attention to you, because if he doesn't,  it would feel like a loss of connection to him.

As a result, if it goes the way i described, the extra attention you'll start receiving from him , might feel very empowering and addictive. This is how you will begin adopting some of his qualities ( becoming narcissistic). Respecting, complimenting and acknowledging each other's positive progress is the key here. Support each other, have patience and don't try to force anything. This gradually will give you the balance you're seeking.

Hope this helps and i wish you all the best.

Hugs and love ❤

 

 

 

 

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I don't understand how labelling one-self can help in discovering one's true self (that's what the spiritual journey is all about in the end).

by definition a narcissist won't admit they're a narcissist. they are just great beings entitled to everything. at least that's what the label says.

being an empath is like the latest trend in excuses. one isn't responsible for how they feel anymore, the world is. they are just empaths and universal laws don't apply to them. (that can be just another form of narcissism too, btw).

i don't think that labelling ever helps. even more in a close relationship. that's just like taking excuses and name calling to another level. which is focusing on the problems, rather than solutions.

identifying patterns in your dynamic would be more helpful than self diagnosing yourselves, i'd say.

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