Garnet

Time alone VS escaping. What's the difference?

13 posts in this topic

Time alone VS escaping. What's the difference?

Where is the line between the two? How much time is enough for oneself?

Escaping affects people around you (if you're living with someone/ have family, etc)

Time alone can be also perceived as escaping. Unless you have a good reason. Meditation, for example. 

So, this made me think... those who are single/living alone and want to have a relationship, family, etc. - how willing are you to give up on your time with yourself? Which is all this time you have now. Just a thought.

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 minutes ago, Garnet said:

those who are single/living alone and want to have a relationship, family, etc. - how willing are you to give up on your time with yourself?


I am on the other side of the fence. I am pruning my relationships so that I can have the time alone that I want.

 

26 minutes ago, Garnet said:

Time alone VS escaping. What's the difference?

Where is the line between the two? How much time is enough for oneself?

 

The only time that I think I am escaping is when I am escaping from myself.  This could be when I am alone or with others.  When I am not escaping from myself, time alone is precious and does not feel like escape.  Rather, it feels like coming home.

How much time is enough?  I want enough time to feel peace and to naturally have the urge to interact with others again. 

Curious to know what are your thoughts on this. :)

 

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, Amazawa said:


Curious to know what are your thoughts on this. :)

 

Some people are like leaches. Others have no breaks and just go under your skin. 

Apply LoA or mirror to it - and it doesn't make sense.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Garnet said:

Apply LoA or mirror to it - and it doesn't make sense.

Would love to understand this, but I am not able to follow you there. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Amazawa said:

Would love to understand this, but I am not able to follow you there. 

The desire to have time alone or escape does not occur without something that happens externally :)

 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, Garnet said:

The desire to have time alone or escape does not occur without something that happens externally

Ahhhh!  I get it now... yes!  Like meeting leaches or those who get under our skin.  Very interesting... doesn't that lead to why we want to know and respect our boundaries?  If we did do that (easier said than done), would the leaches go elsewhere and would we desire alone time just for the pleasure of the peace it gives us? 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think spending time with yourself alone intentionally is escaping, but I don't think it's a negative form of escaping. Like for me I spend my whole day assisting those with mental illnesses and some nights I just unplug socially to get a break to practice self care. I think if the escaping is about self care it's not a bad thing. 

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, walt said:

What gives you satisfaction? Secret lover, yoga, painting, volunteering, coaching a team? Once you find the activity the rest falls into place without reservation.

What does this have to do with spending time alone?

3 hours ago, Amazawa said:

 If we did do that (easier said than done), would the leaches go elsewhere and would we desire alone time just for the pleasure of the peace it gives us? 

Usually the leaches do not leave unless something changes drastically... agree on a second part!

  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
21 minutes ago, Garnet said:

Usually the leaches do not leave unless something changes drastically

It is really amazing that you posted this thread, Garnet. I am currently pondering a situation in which I feel like I am dealing with some leaches, and yet I still feel a desire to offer my blood to them.  I also know that once I do that, I will resent them and we will start playing the victim-victimizer game the whole time we are together... definitely not what I want.

Thank you for raising my awareness on this. In my case, the something that must change drastically is me prioritizing my boundaries. <3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, Amazawa said:

I am currently pondering a situation in which I feel like I am dealing with some leaches, and yet I still feel a desire to offer my blood to them.  I also know that once I do that, I will resent them and we will start playing the victim-victimizer game the whole time we are together... definitely not what I want.
 

As humans, male and female, we have an inherent desire to solve or fix other people's problems. Women have a nurturing mother's instinct. Men have more DIY / "i can fix that" mentality. So we both inheritantly look for people that we can help.

The issue is that maybe once the problems are solved, we don't know what to do and feel useless.

But if we approach potential relationships with an understanding that "i cannot fix your problems " , "you cannot fix my problems " . Instead " i will be there for you" and offer an advice when asked, then we can focus on growing together and solve our own problems without feeling useless.

 

12 hours ago, walt said:

 How much time can you escape without guilt is the question.

If it's a persistent issue that you are constantly escaping from, then there is guilt for not resolving it.

When we resolve the issue, then there's no guilt. Only inner piece and enjoyment of our time alone.

 

  • Upvote 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this really depends on the person or more so it depends on the higher self or your purpose here on earth.
Most people will have to connect with others in order to achieve what they desire, some maybe just for periods of time and then they will go back to fulfilling their purpose alone.
But im sure there are some people who really do not need anyone else but this does not mean that other people cant make their life easier.

For me it is also a important thing to have the basis ground zero where you can go back to whenever your external world seems not to be on your side if you manage to be happy without anyone you have this basis so you dont fall too deep if you really need to disconnect from your surroundings.

Edited by LaucherJunge
  • Upvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 hours ago, Trinity Anderson said:

What are the shadow aspects of escaping? A lot.. You may end up in a place that is not of your own choosing. 

Hmmm....

13 hours ago, Trinity Anderson said:

Escaping sounds like it is what you are making the action mean. 

New adventures 

13 hours ago, Trinity Anderson said:

Same. Matt Kahn makes it very simple for me to understand that a lot of our less than honorable actions occur when we don't feel safe in our bodies (same thing as vulnerable). I am currently learning to identify what it feels like for me when I don't feel safe in my body. 

Safety has a lot to do with trust. Self betrayal is one of the worst things we can do to ourselves.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now