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M_The_Raven

Is 2004 and where you were relevant today?

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Is 2004 and where you were relevant today?

I can't sleep  

 It's not anxiety or grief   

Its excitement    I'm excited   And I can't sleep    I can't wait  

so   Time is overlapping  2004  

Warning before you read this    Humility is my backbone now     Luck is something I'm happy to embrace as a secret of my success  without the love and support of friends and family and mentors and bit of just divine circumstantial luck    I would be on a street prob too   We all love to complement our achievements   But we didn't do it alone   It's callous to forget or think otherwise   But it's totally fine to know you didn't get out of a personal hell without the fight of your life --- our trials and journos    Our conradian rivers    to darkness and defeats of grandiose scale and the rise of a hydra from ashes   The monster makes his own destiny  and can choose to be "not a monster"    Bc that's what hydras do  

so   Back to the time lapse  2004!!!

its back  

It feels like it is.   And I don't remember where I was 2004.  And that's odd.   It was me following my dreams.  Actually.   I think it was me deciding to give up appeasement and conformity and find my own paths.  

I felt like it was me taking the hard road at time.  

Like a path to a hard road.  

When you pursue your dreams or passions. You find yourself at odds with the unforgiving world which if I'm totally honest. I wasn't prepped to hold my own in 2004.  

Today.  I feel it's similar.   The difference is I know I can strive this time.   I have this ultimate ere of knowlege and wisdom that I didn't in 2004.   I pursued my dreams in 04.  And it was divergent than a straight path to a life of "easy conformity"

i could've been like the average joe.  

But I went for a moonshot.  Fell into some other things.  And in a way.  Succeeded.   And it's kind of ironic. Because it was not meant to be so    I should've failed the odds stacked against me in a fool's dream     Me and my stubborn belief I can do what others can't   And oddly enough    Sync it was that succeeded   

If we're going back to 2004.  I was knocked off coarse in 07 by strange events.   

But.  I was following my truest path in 2004.   Against the odds. 

I gave up comfort and security chasing dreams.    

I didn't gain comfort or security in the years following.  But I achieved accomplishing dreams.   At costs of security and comfort.   

This time?   I feel it's similar but I'm chasing a dream that carries comforts and security that my prior dreams never had.   It's not much divergent.  It's a refinement of where I started.  A growth.   It's linear from time.    But  it was far from a tangent slope. Rather a chaos wave.   A Mandelbrot fractal.   

But it was a linear moving thing.   Starts here. Moves forward.     

This time.  I feel past just met my present and future.   And I won't miss.  

I manifested this.   And in a way.  Maybe I wrote this story a while ago.   I didn't follow the manual.   

I rewrote it.  And took the toaster apart and changed it to make it work my way.    Metaphors.  But weird truths. 

 

Edited by M_The_Raven
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I wish I felt bad or shame or cold or empty or lost.  Because I feel awkward talking about positive things around the suffering masses   My heart isn't coldly detached from you in the middle of the painful transit    It's a transit or a permanent home    And u know a spirit on our plane isn't going  to stay in that spot    They have to learn a way out   Through their own path it seems I was there with u a long era  

But I feel.  Like I'm aimed.   And on the target.  And. All I got to do is.  And when the wind is right.   Let go and direct shot.    

Hit it square dead center.   Exactly where I wanted.  

Figuring out where I wanted to be?   Ensuring that it wasn't folly.    Doing the steps.  Taking the time to do the hard work. Outside.  In mind. In soul.  In spirit in body.   In ether.   In karmic life of past and futures.

All this work up to now    I did for that target    And I'll hit it  I know certainly  

  I did the work.   It's a certain lock.   I did this whole new spiritual plumbing system in me.   It's just a lot of work.  Proactively invested selfishly in myself.   For a period for another phase where it's certain I'm needed.  

I'm prepared for failure. But certain it's not in my cards. 

So I succeed 

Now what?    ?

The beauty is.   Open ---- directions?  "It's possible"

new standardized normal.  "It's possible". 

I have gone through the wasteland.   TS Elliot don't know.   I called up Joyce to tell him Ulysses was tame I was lost  more.  You're Tame.   I went to Dante to say I got out your not soooooo  deepest rings but it was a trek.     

I went to Orpheus and said.    I've been there bro. (And I was.)

i went to Icarus's ghost to tell him.  I know your story.  Too personally for comfort   But I'm not dead yet  

I called up Virgil to tell him the trick isn't going to hades day in and out.  It's escaping that daily grind.  

I made a robot for SYSPHUS and he didn't have to stand beneath a boulder anymore.  Camus was proud.  

All because I got kicked around the universe ping ponging off every rubber wall like a rocket propelled projectile pinball 

into the abyss.  And I winked at it and aligned it. 

Call me undeserving.  But I know it's a lie.   I don't believe in the word. 

Deserving.   No one deserves.  

I just am not a cold ass prick.   I have more than compassion about abuse and trauma.   I have empathy.  I lived through it 

one word that sticks?   buoy.  

Buoy. Buoy.  Bring ur wind 

hit the mast of the ship in your deadliest squalls.   I'm gonna stay above water.   And find a way.  Buoy. And I'm at peace with death.  But it's not my time yet.  

 

Share your stories folks.  

I need to interact at the vampire hours of the evening of sleeping city of Gotham vice. 

Edited by M_The_Raven

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They try to cut the head off your foe.  And it's a hydra.   They cut one head off.   Hydra grows 4 more each time.  

This is the misunderstood glory hunt a Greek Ahab might chase for ego. 

Don't tame a hydra.   Don't fight a hydra.  If you meet one and you walk in another path to not clash?   You're saved enormous grief.

One can become that and make their own code.   Create a different place.  

The world isn't short of those looking for control.  Power. 

Folly.  

30 years from now.   Will they look at one constant?    Progress.  Not tangent or linear.

Chaos.  And progress.   

Lost generations such as ours existed in Japan prior.  And elsewhere in lesser upward mobile world's.   

Is it our responsibility to help?  

If your idea of help comes with violence and domination.   I don't know if it is necessary.  There's so much money to be made making the future awesome.  

Like that machine.  We created to jump through wormholes to teleport to next hemisphere without carbon emissions.   

Mir the high speed bullet train we still can make cheaper than the 1950's high speed train that was poorly built before they decided to plan with blieprint  a poorly built over priced piece of shit from last century stinking up the air at a tumbleweed pace    And earthquake fragile  

fuck that    Its the future   We can do whatever we want   And always find a new way to make the world make money and everyone in a million ways benefits   Even the overlords   

Youre the future   

So     I don't care who is leading officially   We rule the roost.  Not I.   You.  Me.  All. Us we

   A generations of lost   And tough as nails    Put down a lot   But we come through the end of a wormhole   

We bend the spoon in the matrix with our minds  

Dont buy that    You have no choice now   But to come up in the world folks    And lead  

lead well    With positive intent  

dont be evil   

And I know u won't    Ur better than where you came from   And forwards bound   So much style and it's wasted kids  

next stop?   Shift  

 

Edited by M_The_Raven

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