Veronica Soto

Teal's latest vid

11 posts in this topic

Teal's latest vid

This vid couldn't have come at a better time! 

About 3 wks ago I left an on and off relationship of 16 years with a narssicist that played me like a fiddle... 

But now that I am out, I keet asking myself: why did I let this happened to me? I saw what he was doing but I stayed even though I was not happy. Always walking on eggshells, making sure I didn't say anything to upset him but the list of things that upset him kept growing every day.

In this vid, Teal explains the addiction that people like me have to people like him. I felt seen and understood.

It doesn't stop the pain but at least I could stop some of the self condemnation.

Thanks Teal!

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1 hour ago, Veronica Soto said:

In this vid, Teal explains the addiction that people like me have to people like him. I felt seen and understood.

 

Exactly, Veronica!  Me too!  Teal's video explained so much of what I was experiencing! 

Thank you, Teal! <3

 

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23 hours ago, Veronica Soto said:

Teal's latest vid

This vid couldn't have come at a better time! 

About 3 wks ago I left an on and off relationship of 16 years with a narssicist that played me like a fiddle... 

But now that I am out, I keet asking myself: why did I let this happened to me? I saw what he was doing but I stayed even though I was not happy. Always walking on eggshells, making sure I didn't say anything to upset him but the list of things that upset him kept growing every day.

In this vid, Teal explains the addiction that people like me have to people like him. I felt seen and understood.

It doesn't stop the pain but at least I could stop some of the self condemnation.

Thanks Teal!

Hi, did you explain him the reason behind leaving him?

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I didn't.. He was angry because I said something but he would not explained what it was that I said... This was just the last straw for me. How do you fix or even try to apologize for something you have no idea of? 

Oh... Amit... Why did that question hurt? 

Edited by Veronica Soto
Forgot to mention the person that aske the question

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If the question hurts you...then please try to show courage to explain it to him. Any form of communicatiin is good. He should be made aware for his own growth. Even a link of teals video is good for his realization. He may not get it at first but slowly he will learn about his mistakes. Normally, the relatiinship never breaks down, it takes other form. Explain the new form of your relation that you may want to have or the one he desires, if agreeable to both of you. If spirituality does not help in such situations then what is the use tell me. I dont know why christ said 'love your enemy' but it worked for me one time. I hope it will appeal to your good side. 

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10 minutes ago, Amit said:

If the question hurts you...then please try to show courage to explain it to him. Any form of communicatiin is good. He should be made aware for his own growth. Even a link of teals video is good for his realization. He may not get it at first but slowly he will learn about his mistakes. Normally, the relatiinship never breaks down, it takes other form. Explain the new form of your relation that you may want to have or the one he desires, if agreeable to both of you. If spirituality does not help in such situations then what is the use tell me. I dont know why christ said 'love your enemy' but it worked for me one time. I hope it will appeal to your good side. 

I understand where you are coming from and I appreciate you advice. But watch Teal's vid, in it she explains exactly how this kind of relationship works.

Believe me nothing I say will ever change his mind or convince him that he is wrong. Or ever change his ways. I know, I've tried for 16 years...

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32 minutes ago, Veronica Soto said:

Believe me nothing I say will ever change his mind or convince him that he is wrong. Or ever change his ways. I know, I've tried for 16 years...

I am with you, Veronica... Teal also mentioned in the video that it is not our responsibility to help the other person grow.  That is their own business. Trying to do that will just make a bigger mess and cause both parties even more damage.

Focus on yourself, prioritize your own wants and desires, and keep moving toward your happiness!  Sending you lots of love and support during this difficult time of physical withdrawal.  I am also moving through it here. <3

Edited by Amazawa
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3 minutes ago, Amazawa said:

I am with you, Veronica... Teal also mentioned in the video that it is not our responsibility to help the other person grow.  That is their own business. Trying to do that will just make a bigger mess and cause both parties even more damage.

Focus on yourself, prioritize your own wants and desires, and keep moving toward your happiness!  Sending you lots of love and support during this difficult time of physical withdrawal.  I am moving through it also here. <3

Thank you for your kind words. I am right now literally in the verge of tears, it feels really good to be seen and understood. Your support means the world to me and I too want to support you too in this difficult journey. 

Sending you much love and all the hugs you can handle...

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16 minutes ago, Amazawa said:

I am with you, Veronica... Teal also mentioned in the video that it is not our responsibility to help the other person grow.  That is their own business. Trying to do that will just make a bigger mess and cause both parties even more damage.

Focus on yourself, prioritize your own wants and desires, and keep moving toward your happiness!  Sending you lots of love and support during this difficult time of physical withdrawal.  I am also moving through it here. <3

I dont know if this is wrongly said by someone 'one of our desire is to forgive and to be forgiven'. May be this is how trauma closure works and then we move on, in general sense. What works individually, only the sufferer knows. We are wired differently, so sorry for interferring your self-loving process. 

Veronica, i just hope i didnt hurt you by saying anything that caused you distrust urself. That was unintentional. I wish you peaceful recovery and happy days. Keep talking

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22 hours ago, Amit said:

I dont know if this is wrongly said by someone 'one of our desire is to forgive and to be forgiven'. May be this is how trauma closure works and then we move on, in general sense. What works individually, only the sufferer knows. We are wired differently, so sorry for interferring your self-loving process. 

Veronica, i just hope i didnt hurt you by saying anything that caused you distrust urself. That was unintentional. I wish you peaceful recovery and happy days. Keep talking

Thank you so much, Am it for your heart felt apology. I really do appreciate it, but it is not necessary. 

Iknow, I could feel, for a fact that you did not mean to hurt my feelings. It is very hard to understand this kind of relationship if you have never experienced it.  There is no hard feelings,

Much love

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Thank you. Take care and keep expressing yourself. I had not really gone through such an ordeal for so many years as you had gone through. But i experienced it for a short span in my life and i was lucky to observe the behaviour and to find the facts so early on, that i could prepare myself in advance for the future. For you, i suggest you spend quality time with your close ones and recover faster. 

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