jacob13303

Hello Anxiety

6 posts in this topic

Hello Anxiety

Hello everyone,

So i decided to make a thread to get some different opinions/advice from any takers and maybe help anyone else reading the post. During the work week i experience extreme anxiety that can stop me in my tracks sometimes. At home, I don't feel the anxiety, so it's difficult to CP if I'm not being triggered and it's also difficult to think of work and feel anxiety when i'm home as well. Work demands my full attention, so sitting for 20 minutes to do a little integration is difficult, furthermore if i close my eyes and try to breath into the rush of anxiety it has the tendency to hide and when i open my eyes again and i continue to work it shows up again. It's a bit of a cat and mouse game. I think part of me is also afraid of being present with the anxiety because im worried it might risk me losing my job but the anxiety becomes a bit unbearable at times and needs to be my focus. I watched the Teal video on anxiety and i know my diet and exercise routine doesnt match up to lesser anxiety levels. I don't mind the idea of revolving my life around the anxiety ie eating, excercise, sleep, good music, funny videos, just an entire focus on how to handle/deal with anxiety in order to keep my cortisol levels down and blood sugar steady but I'd like to think, rather, that it's possible to CP and find resolution with my anxiety. Any ideas?

Thanks, Jacob P.

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22 minutes ago, jacob13303 said:

but I'd like to think, rather, that it's possible to CP and find resolution with my anxiety. Any ideas?

Jacob, I am with you there.  It sounds like you are being trigger at work and then being blocked at home. I sense a defense mechanism kicking in here to keep you from going for the root trauma.  Defense mechanisms exist to keep you out of low vibrational states.

Some ideas for you consider:

1.  What if you take a bathroom break at work when the anxiety comes up? You can't focus anyway when the anxiety stops you in your track, true? 

If you can take a break to do CP, try to get to step 4 and invite the root trauma memory to surface. Once you feel or see this memory, perhaps it would be easier for you access it again at home.  Even if you cannot get to step 4, just validating the anxiety (step 3) is enough to begin the emotional integration. 

2.  At home, ask yourself why it is difficult to think of the trigger at work. Start with whatever is coming up to keep you from accessing the anxiety.  See if you can identify what is blocking you from accessing the trigger and work with what comes up.

Sending you lots of support for your journey to become whole again. 

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i like hearing that people have anxiety because a lot of people have it and we pretend like we don't freak out sometimes lol. i once walked out of a eye doctors appointment because i was freaking out, if i would be able to trust everyone then it would be fine, id just say I'm freaking out right now just so you know, give me a minute, i wish we could talk like that. I think its normal. just be with it, your body does freak out a little and it takes over, but it will go away, just note that most people (all I would say) have this, its just under the surface and invisible.

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Thank you all for the responses. Update: when feeling the strong anxiety i freeze and close my eyes and it immediately dissipates. I'm guessing block? it's getting more and more intense and has manifested into a physical ailment. I'm gonna try to do some meditation today and see if it will surface and take over by its own course.

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Hey man. I'm kind of a beginner in all of this, but I know this cat and mouse game all too well (IT'S SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!!). Anyway about a month ago I had a kind of a progress.  What I learned from it was that I wasn't willing to be with whatever I was feeling (or not feeling) completely. I wanted to feel the f*cking depresion! (or whatever dissipated feeling I was trying to resolve) Not this "I feel fine - everything is fine feeling" mixed with slightly painful emptyness. I wasn't willing to risk stay that way forever, to never know love or gentle touch, to die alone never understood, to be totaly abandoned by everyone and everything, being laughed at...  Basically I wasn't willing to risk whatever doom scenario I was imagining to happen. Till... I did. I experienced quite an interesting visualization during the process, but I don't want to give your mind too much stuff to think about.

So. The "dissipation" has its reason to be there. Listen to it. Be with it c-o-m-p-l-e-t-e-l-y... forever if needed. It's part of you! - don't neglect it, don't try to get rid of it. Trust it and trust the process wherever it might take you.

I hope this helps at least a little bit.

Wishing you lot of strenght, patience and love.

Filip

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