Minnie

Wanting to want myself

1 post in this topic

Wanting to want myself

Hi guys! My question is related to my biggest struggle in life.. this is not about the usual 'other people don't want me', it's that I don't WANT myself. What should I do with it and do you guys think the completion process would work for it? Does someone relate to this? To explain it further: I have lived most of my life in my imagination and I feel the reality of how I really am is crushing me ( at some point I couldn't wait to come to bed to escape in my dreams.. which usually involved a different me), I used to lie a lot (especially to myself, until i finally believed my own lies), I struggle with lack of identity ( everytime I try to get near the reality od how I am, I get immensely pulled back), I feel a deep separation between how I am and how I want to be(and the 2 aspects don't even want to look at each other).. which is especially tormenting because there are lots of stuff in the department of 'looks' that I get triggered to see! I think that's it. Thanks in advance!

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