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I think your issue is more about social anxiety .....feeling traumatized by past awkward moments is about embarrassment and  being embarrassed comes from shame and guilt (teal did a video on both topics)...i would tell you that everyone feels stupid when looking back on past awkward moments, but you mentioned that you avoid conversations and handshakes with people , that for me sounds like mental or emotional self harm which comes with social anxiety i think...after all i really wish teal would make a video on social anxiety specifically though!

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I concur, awkwardness (like other things such as laziness, bravery, cowardice, etc.) doesn't exist on its own. It's synthesized out of bigger things that our limited cultural perceptions stereotype into a bite-sized digestible tid-bit.

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