Floor

Do you see yourself in me

24 posts in this topic

Do you see yourself in me

 

I realize what a fake person I've become after all this time trying to be a good, smiling and happy person. I want so badly to spread happiness but the intentions behind my smile is based on fear. I find it hard to connect with people because I am so sick of creating a better reality, being a encouraging and positive person. I just want to fucking chill out and enjoy my natural relaxed space. But I have no idea how to do that. I get too easily involved in others energies and I feel like it's not okay to be centered and neutral so I have to hide. Starting to feel resentment towards people because "they" give me all this pressure. I'm in a conflict whether I should be real and spread negativity or if I should hide until I am ready to take responsibility for myself and realize how much I can be greatful for. It's time to take care of my own peace and happiness before others. I want to able to eat a melon in front of my neighbors without feeling all this stress and anxiety that I should do something to make their day better. I'm so fucking sick of this. 
This is my natural resentful face. Do you see yourself in me, maybe have some advice to how I can let go of the tension? 

 

 

Edited by Floor
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@Floor, your natural resentful face is beautiful!

I was you until I decided to either be myself or die.  I am still here in large part thanks to Teal's processes.  The Completion Process is what finally set me free; the key to the last door out of my prison.

You asked: do you see yourself in me? My response: yes!

You asked for advice.  My response: do the Completion Process. It will put you back together again!

Reach out if you would like assistance.  I will hold the vision that you too find your way out of your prison.

 

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I see you, yes. I have been there, though not as extreme because I've always been a bit stubborn when it comes to people telling me what to do and have never been comfortable living for other people.

Question, have you spent much time in solitude? Have you prioritized solitude? How does being alone make you feel?

This is a picture I took when in a very bad space emotionally. I had been under great pressure and broke out in eczema on the part of my face I am covering up.

Photo on 6-24-16 at 5.45 Happy Birthday!.jpg

Edited by Tessa Rae
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I am only nice at work. And currently I do not work, so as to avoid that very problem. I have always been an outsider, happy to be weird and not accepted by normal people. happy may not be the right term... being alone and neglected was better than conformity, if it meant being true to who I was. Even when I had not idea who I was.

I feel you  about wanting to fix your neighbors though... all of mine need help. They live empty, angry, poorly fed, uneducated lives. I had to really think about whether they were here for me to fix, or if I was instead meant to learn from them. Each person, each family, has a lesson for me. I cannot help them live quality lives. they dont want to, they dont think there is a problem. The fact that I do gives me the choice to accept their choice, intervene with n it is a danger to someone especially a child or animal. thats all. I can only live by example, and ensure that their behavior is not viewed as "ok" by my kid. sometimes it hurts being unable to help,. to stop their cycle of violence and anger. To see children being raised without morals, or with the "wrong" morals.

I create my own reality, by focusing on the neighbors, by listening and interacting with them I became obsessed with their own pain, which I believe was a distraction from healing and learning my own lessons. stalling tactic, subconscious level.

I wish for you a feeling of contentment and peace... <3

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@FloorThank you for this post.

Have you ever considered that you may be an Empath?

Realizing that you are an Empath may help your understanding why you feel the way you do.

I'm an Empath and here are a few traits and a brief description of what I deal with:

o  You are constantly dealing with an over charge of emotions not only your own but, everyone's around you as well.

o  You pick up on other's emotions and sometimes it is hard to distinguish which ones are actually yours.

o  You get confused a lot as well because you expect everyone around you to display authenticity because it's only natural for you, however, most people are not as honest with their emotions. Saying that, you can get confused because you are made to feel like your emotions are wrong because what you are picking up from others is being invalidated because they don't know how to display authenticity or are just plain dishonest with you. And saying that, because you feel like your emotions are invalid (which could not be any further from the truth) you tend to be dishonest with yourself often. 

In conclusion, you have not become a fake person, you may be an Empath which means you are a caretaker and you put everyone else's needs above your own (brief, brief description). People tend to use Empaths without even knowing it, and Empaths let people use them when they are not aware that they are an Empath. Try to understand what your purpose as an Empath is here on Earth and learn to balance your energies. You need to be selfish for a while and take care of yourself, It will help you heal so that you can be better for everyone around you. It's like the airplane oxygen mask theory, dawn your own mask first before you assist others.

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It's perfectly right for you to allow yourself to transmute that resentment and become angry and selfish, especially when you have put everyone else's needs above your own your whole life. Learning how to say "No!" or how to say "fuck off!" is the hardest thing for me but every time I do, it validates my own emotions. As an Empath who is learning why I am the way I am, validation is second to none when it comes to feeling good about myself. My whole life my own feelings and emotions have been made invalid by others. 

I have found the ample truth is to know that your emotions are never invalid. If you are honest and authentic with yourself, as wrong as it may feel sometimes, you as the Empath are never wrong with your emotions. Only people around you make you feel invalid because they are not authentic or honest with their own emotions.

I hope that I have made sense and wasn't too redundant in the process of trying haha.

ps: when I look at this picture of you, I see someone who feels used, battered and broken emotionally, so yes I do see myself in you. Thank you for sharing this!

Edited by Micah
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19 hours ago, Floor said:

Do you see yourself in me

yes I do. vulnerability inspires me.

15 hours ago, Tessa Rae said:

This is a picture I took when in a very bad space emotionally. I had been under great pressure and broke out in eczema on the part of my face I am covering up.

shit I know all about the skin condition feeling... the emotional stuff that comes with it, its no joke.

this thread is awesome, everyone is a aspect of you, want to see a aspect that's out of alignment? I'm you you're me, can't see that? look deeper.

horrible angle of my broken nose lol, just another aspect of you.

 

grass.jpg

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Let the past go @PROFIT.   

22 hours ago, Floor said:

Do you see yourself in me

 

I realize what a fake person I've become after all this time trying to be a good, smiling and happy person. I want so badly to spread happiness but the intentions behind my smile is based on fear. I find it hard to connect with people because I am so sick of creating a better reality, being a encouraging and positive person. I just want to fucking chill out and enjoy my natural relaxed space. But I have no idea how to do that. I get too easily involved in others energies and I feel like it's not okay to be centered and neutral so I have to hide. Starting to feel resentment towards people because "they" give me all this pressure. I'm in a conflict whether I should be real and spread negativity or if I should hide until I am ready to take responsibility for myself and realize how much I can be greatful for. It's time to take care of my own peace and happiness before others. I want to able to eat a melon in front of my neighbors without feeling all this stress and anxiety that I should do something to make their day better. I'm so fucking sick of this. 
This is my natural resentful face. Do you see yourself in me, maybe have some advice to how I can let go of the tension? 

 

Screenshot_2016-09-06-13-10-26.png

Let the past go @PROFIT.   

Be authentic @Floor

Be authentic.  you don't have to be anything else.   You'll attract authentic.   If that's what ur into.  

Edited by M_The_Raven

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I just heard Teal basically say that an empath's bravery comes from the thought of "Oh well if it destroys me, it's what I planned on doing to myself anyways if things didn't work out."  I'm sorry, this is not really relevant to the topic but I found humor in that because it's so true and had to share this. Haha 

Edited by Micah
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On 9/6/2016 at 6:53 AM, Tessa Rae said:

This is a picture I took when in a very bad space emotionally. I had been under great pressure and broke out in eczema on the part of my face I am covering up.

@Tessa Rae, you are beautiful too!  Love the picture! <3

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7 hours ago, PROFIT said:

 Im in a good place right now michael, don't worry about me. I should be more careful with my words, I wasn't really having a nervous breakdown. I was just pissed off reflecting upon memories of being ignored while I was a kid. Im good now :)

Fwiw.  I don't think narcissist is right word to describe yourself.  More like.  Self focused.   

Because you're empathetic and not PD.  

its fine to be self focused.   @PROFIT.   And you may need some time to do some emotional house cleaning.   Which can seem selfish.   Maybe.  But it's necessary too.  

Edited by M_The_Raven

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15 minutes ago, PROFIT said:

Id like to think that, I believe some narcissism can be healthy though . Im definitly not one who is self abosrbed, I do empathize with people. Im not some evil scumbag whos only looking after himself.  I just like to get shit done which can make me seem like im a dbag. 

I agree with you.  

I'm proud of you for doing the shadow work ---. And appearances are oft not accurate.  Don't confirm it.   Youre beating yourself up.  And I think we're all guilty of this time to time (beating ourselves up).   You're not a d bag.  .   Don't put yourselves down everyone. You're decent folks.  

Be yourselves.  If you have a bad day or upset someone or make a subjective. mistake.  Forgive yourself.  

Edited by M_The_Raven
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On September 6, 2016 at 6:08 AM, Floor said:

Do you see yourself in me

 

I realize what a fake person I've become after all this time trying to be a good, smiling and happy person. I want so badly to spread happiness but the intentions behind my smile is based on fear. I find it hard to connect with people because I am so sick of creating a better reality, being a encouraging and positive person. I just want to fucking chill out and enjoy my natural relaxed space. But I have no idea how to do that. I get too easily involved in others energies and I feel like it's not okay to be centered and neutral so I have to hide. Starting to feel resentment towards people because "they" give me all this pressure. I'm in a conflict whether I should be real and spread negativity or if I should hide until I am ready to take responsibility for myself and realize how much I can be greatful for. It's time to take care of my own peace and happiness before others. I want to able to eat a melon in front of my neighbors without feeling all this stress and anxiety that I should do something to make their day better. I'm so fucking sick of this. 
This is my natural resentful face. Do you see yourself in me, maybe have some advice to how I can let go of the tension? 

 

Screenshot_2016-09-06-13-10-26.png

Honestly. I didn't mean to hijack. 

listen up. Girl.   We're all  Having a unique human experience on earth.    If ever life so anf too short to be half yourself  especially when it brings you down.     Expression.  is pout.    Ur cute when u look like ur gonna cry.  It no way do I endorse that forward moving momentum for a future. Trajectory.   

 

You and I and the freaky weirdos on this site are weird funky and free spirits   

Let ur freak flag fly    Lift that frown   Upside down    

Kisses  xo

She's a lady.  Fire water. Air magic dust.    

Yo.  When you're so enough.  You're too much they said. 

When you felt u weren't they said u weeny enough.   

U can't win with those amateurs.  Don't play their game. 

Plau ur game 

Edited by M_The_Raven
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