CarolineB

MEMORIES AREN'T COMING

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MEMORIES AREN'T COMING 

When I ask myself, "When was the first time I experienced this feeling" I find that my memories sometimes don't come.  When they do come (often rare), I question if they are of my forcing them to surface out of frustration/impatience.  Teal suggested that rather than seek out the memory, you simply sit still and wait for it to emerge like an audience member looking at a blank movie screen waiting for the film to start.  I'm finding that I have no problem sitting with a painful emotion but when I wait for the memory nothing happens.  Any suggestions?

Edited by CarolineB
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@CarolineB,

I have heard Teal explain multiple times that many people experience the same difficulty.  Some of the people I assist have the same challenge. 

Here are some suggestions:

1.  Please note that memories often do not come as a visual (like a movie on your mind's screen) especially if the root trauma occurred when you are a small baby.  For me, my memories came up as just feelings, with no visuals.  So, trust whatever comes up as valid; don't question.  If it came up, it's valid. The analogy that works for me is let it flow into your consciousness like water.

2.  If completely nothing comes up, you may have been socialized to believe that it's NOT okay to feel that particular emotion that is triggering. So the backdoor that Teal discovered (and it works great for me) is asking:  "When was the first time I was told that it is NOT okay to feel this emotion?"  Work with that first.  Once you have resolved the socialization, you will likely gain access to the underlying root trauma for the emotion that is currently triggering you.

3.  If what you feel is numbness or something else (e.g., sleepiness) that is covering over the memory, Teal suggests that you sink into whatever is covering over your memory and apply CP to whatever that is.  This is like melting the ice to get access to the emotion underneath.

Hopefully the above gives you ways to overcome your challenges.  I send you lots of love and support for your journey to become whole again. 
 

Edited by Amazawa
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Sorry, I can't suggest anything, just adding my experience with the similar struggle.

I experience the same problem with some emotions, and I tried all 3 suggestions mentioned by Amazawa. Well... it helps a little bit, but still what happens is that I ether fall asleep or that I don't trust the memories that come up. Like I feel my mind is very helpful with generating whatever images I need just in order to proceed. My mind is not afraid of creating even the worst possible "memories", but I don't believe they have anything to do with reality. They are just there to help me get through the process. Then I tried the approach "If it came up, it's valid", but then at the end of the process I don't feel that the result is real and valid, and there is a feeling of disappointment.

With some triggers CP work very well, and the result was amazing.

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5 hours ago, LaraBerg said:

but still what happens is that I ether fall asleep or that I don't trust the memories that come up.

That is very interesting, LaraBerg.  I sense these as defense mechanisms, which exist to keep you out of the lower vibrational states. This is what I love about CP; it's like playing chess with your defense mechanisms. Every session is unique! 

The most common mistake made when encountering a defense mechanism is to fight it. That just strengthens the mechanism. Instead, we want to just accept and melt into the defense mechanism over and over again until our being understands that we will not give up.  Teal says this is where fortitude is required. 

For sleep, Teal suggests that you just go ahead and sleep. She talked about this in her Sept 4 webinar. Evidently, it's quite common. Keep going until your being gives up and allows you to go forward with CP.

For the lack of trust in the memories, that too can be a defense mechanism.  I suggest you work with that lack of trust.  Ask:  when was the first time I was told that I cannot trust my memories?  See what comes up.

Or, sometimes we get distracted by the story we create for the emotion, instead of just feeling the sensations of the emotion. It's the sensations that will pull us back into the memory, not the story we create. If you sense the stories are a way for the mind to pull you out of your emotion, Teal suggests that you imagine seeing, feeling, sensing, or hearing yourself being separated from whatever is pulling you out of the feeling.  The example she gave in the book is:

"...if you are going through the process, you could see your mind pulling you out of the emotion with ropes or strings.  Then you can imagine lovingly and knowingly (and with gratitude for the mind because it's trying to save you) cutting those cords or strings so that you fall away from the mind and into the emotion."

Have fun with your chess match! :)

 

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1 hour ago, Amazawa said:



The most common mistake made when encountering a defense mechanism is to fight it. That just strengthens the mechanism. Instead, we want to just accept and melt into the defense mechanism over and over again until our being understands that we will not give up.  Teal says this is where fortitude is required. 

For sleep, Teal suggests that you just go ahead and sleep. She talked about this in her Sept 4 webinar. Evidently, it's quite common. Keep going until your being gives up and allows you to go forward with CP.
 

Very good suggestions, @Amazawa ! Thank you. 

But i have a question. How does going to sleep solve a problem? I can see how in some situations it may be helpful to just let it happen and then wake up with the fresh mind. But if you're not home? Driving, for example :)

Also could please share the link to that webinar? 

 

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1 hour ago, Garnet said:

But i have a question. How does going to sleep solve a problem? I can see how in some situations it may be helpful to just let it happen and then wake up with the fresh mind. But if you're not home? Driving, for example :)

Also could please share the link to that webinar? 

Sleeping won't solve the problem, and please don't go to sleep while driving! :)  Accepting the sleepiness with the intention that you will continue with CP will allow you to get past the defense mechanism.  In other words, if you do actually fall asleep, try again another time, and repeat until you finally don't fall asleep. 

If you registered for the webinar, you should have received a replay link.  If not, I read that you can purchase the replay.  I don't see a purchase link anywhere; perhaps you can message an admin here.  I highly recommend watching; it was a "master class" on CP. 

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16 hours ago, Luis L. said:

Any suggestions? 

Luis,

You are encountering a defense mechanism which is preventing you from feeling your emotion.  I have commented on the ways to get around this defense many times on these forums. You can access these comments by clicking on my profile and reviewing my past comments.

Teal also discusses this extensively in her book.  I highly recommend you read her book if you are serious about doing CP. 

Sending you lots of support for become whole again. 

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