sundyer

Post Workshop Discussion (September 4th, 2016)

18 posts in this topic

I absolutely loved Teal's passionate explanation on why validating anger and even revenge in Step 11 is so important in the completion process.  It is absolutely the right thing to do.  It is how we will change this world for the better!

For me personally, relief came through validating my desire for revenge, and just as Teal explained the result was an immediate shift to a higher vibrational energy, which cascaded to all those around me, including to the one who was my revenge target during the integration process.  This in turn is healing my relationship with her (my mother in this case).  I no longer feel the repressed, pent-up anger toward her that could have exploded into actual harm done.

I sense deeply the importance of truly accepting that all of our emotions are valid given the reality that we perceive.  No emotion is ever overreacting; no emotion is ever wrong.  Embracing our emotions and validating everyone of them are how we stay whole and empower ourselves to take conscious actions instead of reacting unconsciously

I am so happy that Teal is taking such a courageous and strong stance in this matter, and I support her completely!  

Thank you, Teal!  You are such a blessing to me and to this world!

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Thanks for addressing my question in today's forum @Teal (and for asking it Blake). I would appreciate if you could answer my followup on step 11, which is: Can you articulate the difference between working with an actual child where we can validate rage, but give them options for safe behavioral expressions, vs. the mental realm where you are saying anything goes? In other words, it seems there is a distinction between emotions and actions, and if we agree that an action might be inappropriate in the physical realm, why not similarly in the mental, astral realms, etc?

Another way of looking at this is can we not validate the emotional response of an aspect of consciousness, but then offer it new choices getting its needs met, instead of participating in its fantasy which is coming from an unintegrated perspective towards Oneness.

Let's make this more specific.  As an child, in junior high, i think, I had a fantasy of committing a mass shooting at my school.  Now lets say I'm working with that aspect of consciousness and its unexpressed rage, and that fantasy comes up as a way of resolving that rage.  Might it not be a better choice to validate that rage but then explore safer ways to express its rage?  Or does it have to "commit the crime" in the mental realm, then feel guilt, then go through another step where that guilt is experienced and rewritten, etc?

I DO appreciate your suggestion to probe deeper into my right/wrong polarizations. #completionprocess

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about." - Rumi

Edited by Aharon
missing word
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Hi! I am a big fan of Teal and resonate to all her videos and worked on them powerfully. However I am stuck regarding feeling anger and revenge.  I am still in the victim feeling. I have experienced so much violations to my being (emotionally, spiritually and medically) while living in the United States, that I have had to leave the country to find myself again, as I felt totally dissociated. I am in a healing process and have had to realize that my whole being felt abused, which was hard to admit to myself. I thought I had dissociated as a result of dissociating spiritual practices (India guru group. Also ayahuasca with Santo Daime church). 

 

How can I feel empowered and get angry? There is a long list of situations that violated my being at its most vulnerable times, predators of all kinds, and instead of feeling angry, I feel terrified of living, terrified of being in myself, so much that I am afraid to sleep. I left America terrified of that country.  I start to get the feeling that I believed I had died inside myself, that my spirit died. All was darkness for years. No hope, no life in me, just misery.

It is 4 years I lived in terror

Any suggestions to empower myself and find the anger and revenge inside of me? I cannot tap into it.

Thanks to you all!

Edited by Christinej

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1 hour ago, Aharon said:

Thanks for addressing my question in today's forum Teal (and for asking it Blake). I would appreciate if you could answer my followup on step 11, which is: Can you articulate the difference between working with an actual child where we can validate rage, but give them options for safe behavioral expressions, vs. the mental realm where you are saying anything goes? In other words, it seems there is a distinction between emotions and actions, and if we agree that an action might be inappropriate in the physical realm, why not similarly in the mental, astral realms, etc?

Another way of looking at this is can we not validate the emotional response of an aspect of consciousness, but then offer it new choices getting its needs met, instead of participating in its fantasy which is coming from an unintegrated perspective towards Oneness.

Let's make this more specific.  As an child, in junior high, i think, I had a fantasy of committing a mass shooting at my school.  Now lets say I'm working with that aspect of consciousness and its unexpressed rage, and that fantasy comes up as a way of resolving that rage.  Might it not be a better choice to validate that rage but then explore safer ways to express its rage?  Or does it have to "commit the crime" in the mental realm, then feel guilt, then go through another step where that guilt is experienced and rewritten, etc?

I DO appreciate your suggestion to probe deeper into my right/wrong polarizations. #completionprocess

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grass
the world is too full to talk about." - Rumi

Aharon,

Excuse me for intruding on your question to Teal.  I felt the urge to respond as I sense that is the purpose of this forum.

When I read your post, I find myself questioning how you can validate the emotional response of your inner child by trying to control its choice of getting its needs met.  By doing that, are you not invalidating its emotional response and casting a judgment on its choice?  I wonder how your inner child would respond to being made wrong again?

In my case, I believe that my inner child is closer to the perspective of Oneness than I am since it has experienced less of the aftermath of socialization.  I also trust that whatever comes up is our higher self guiding us toward our natural state of grace and love. I think it's wonderful that you are exploring your right/wrong polarizations.  In my own journey, I have come to appreciate that there is no right or wrong.  There is just "what is," and "what is" serves the expansion of Source.

In the specific case that you described, I believe your high school fantasy is a reflection of an earlier trauma before the age of 8. As Teal has explained, root traumas happen before the age of 8.  Likely, before the age of 8, you experienced a trauma that caused you to be a vibrational match for your junior high school rage.  Why not explore that root trauma and see what comes up? It may unfold in a manner different than what you are imagining.

Edited by Amazawa
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On 9/4/2016 at 1:29 PM, Christinej said:

Hi! I am a big fan of Teal and resonate to all her videos and worked on them powerfully. However I am stuck regarding feeling anger and revenge.  I am still in the victim feeling. I have experienced so much violations to my being (emotionally, spiritually and medically) while living in the United States, that I have had to leave the country to find myself again, as I felt totally dissociated. I am in a healing process and have had to realize that my whole being felt abused, which was hard to admit to myself. I thought I had dissociated as a result of dissociating spiritual practices (India guru group. Also ayahuasca with Santo Daime church). 

I practice a lot of self soothing, self love, to heal my immensely wounded heart. I have had a long lasting depression, chronic anxieties, sleeplessness, neuropathic pain, fibromyalgia pain, etc. Hell on earth.

How can I feel empowered and get angry? There is a long list of situations that violated my being at its most vulnerable times, predators of all kinds, and instead of feeling angry, I feel terrified of living, terrified of being in myself, so much that I am afraid to sleep. I left America terrified of that country.  I start to get the feeling that I believed I had died inside myself, that my spirit died. All was darkness for years. No hope, no life in me, just misery.

It is 4 years I live in terror, which goes on increasing degrees...

Any suggestions to empower myself and find the anger and revenge inside of me? I cannot tap into it.

Thanks to you all!

@Christinej ,

Thank you for sharing your story here.  I feel sad that you had to experience so much pain and terror.

Have you tried to go through the Completion Process?  From your post, I believe it would be perfect for you!  Given the degree of suffering you have experienced, you may benefit from working with a certified facilitator.  You can find them here on this site:  https://tealswan.com/completion-process/practitioners

Sending you lots of love and comfort.
 

Edited by Amazawa

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Thanks for your input Amazawa.

Quote

When I read your post, I find myself questioning how you can validate the emotional response of your inner child by trying to control its choice of getting its needs met.  By doing that, are you not invalidating its emotional response and casting a judgment on its choice?  I wonder how your inner child would respond to being made wrong again

Again, I point to the distinction between emotions and behaviors.  A child may be in a rage, but that doesn't mean we'd let them beat up other children.  We could empathize with their rage, and then give them the option to beat up a punching bag.  So again I think this ties into the issue of possible distinctions between physical and mental planes.  Can we not create karma on the mental plane?

For instance, the The Law of One, in discussing the dangers to sixth-density Wanderers of taking incarnation on Earth as service,  says that "An entity which acts in a consciously unloving manner in action with other beings can become karmically involved"  (and thereby be swept into the "maelstrom of which it had incarnated to avert the destruction.")

Edited by Aharon
clarity
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@Aharon, I can only speak from my experience.  "Beating up a punching bag" did not work for me; fulfilling the needs of my inner child did. Perhaps the crux of the matter is that I decided to trust in my inner child's wisdom and love.  I fully believed that I was doing no harm; instead, I was doing what is necessary for the healing of all involved.  At the end of my session, everyone was made whole, including my mother.  I believe trusting my inner child is what created the shift for me. 

I wish you the best for your own journey towards wholeness.  Sending you love and support for finding the way that works for you. 

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@Amazawa  Thank you for your wishes and I hear you.  I also thank you for the dialogue, because it has encouraged me to continue to meditate on this and deepen my understanding.  

As I see it, all parts of Intelligent Infinity (to borrow the Law of One term) wish to be seen and accepted in the one Light of Consciousness.  Some fragments go to quite extraordinary lengths in their pursuit of experiencing separation.  So when such a fragment wishes to be seen and reintegrated, it would not be in accordance with Oneness to judge it "wrong" or to exclude it from Self.   Therefore, if a fragment of Self, perceived as Inner Child, wishes to be seen in its mental enactment of violence, then Self can love it and recognize it as Self, without polarity (and without succumbing to its illusion of separation).  As someone whose grandparents were Holocaust survivors, I have found that Consciousness has presented me with scenes of violence, death, and torture to witness and accept.

Here is the distinction though.  I don't think we should confuse the Inner Child with the Higher Self, or with Intelligent Infinity; it is an aspect.  So if the Inner Child is asking for help to resolve itself, and we are required to exercise our creativity or imagination (and that function is being performed by many more aspects of Self) that is where I think it may be inappropriate to suggest harm to others as the resolution for that fragment.  This is not to say that I would never use violence in self-defense, I don't actually know from where I stand.  However, I am moved by a passage in the Law of One.

The questioner is asking how the "Confederation" enforces its quarantine against direct intervention by service-to-self civilizations.  "Ra: 'An entity which is approaching is hailed in the name of the one Creator.  Any entity thus hailed is bathed in love/light and will of free will obey the quarantine due to the power of the Law of One.  Questioner:  'What would happen to the entity if he did not obey...'  Ra: 'The Creator is one being.  The vibratory level of those able to breach the quarantine boundaries is such that upon seeing the love/light net it is impossible to break this Law.  Therefore, nothing happens.  No attempt is made.  There is no confrontation.'"

I am aware of the concern of spiritual bypassing, and I am not suggesting that the rage of the child be denied.  I am questioning something more subtle here.

Edited by Aharon
clarity
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1 hour ago, Sunshine said:

Hello,

How can I rewatch the webinar? I see it's been removed from the livestream website. I wonder why...

We are reuploading it in better quality. As soon as it's done I'll send out the link to those who bought the ticket or got it in the giveaway. And also the replay will be available for sale :)

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12 hours ago, Aharon said:

Here is the distinction though.  I don't think we should confuse the Inner Child with the Higher Self, or with Intelligent Infinity; it is an aspect.  So if the Inner Child is asking for help to resolve itself, and we are required to exercise our creativity or imagination (and that function is being performed by many more aspects of Self) that is where I think it may be inappropriate to suggest harm to others as the resolution for that fragment.  This is not to say that I would never use violence in self-defense, I don't actually know from where I stand.  However, I am moved by a passage in the Law of One.

Thank you, @Aharon!  You have obviously delved deeply into the subject of Oneness, and I love your energy of peace and calmness.  Discussing this subject with you has been enlightening to me.

I agree that I would not suggest harm to others as the resolution for anything.  In my case, I did not suggest anything to my child. I merely asked him what he needed. He wanted a different mother. Although this request is different from wanting to kill my mother, it has the same energy. I then asked him who he would like to be his mother. He responded by giving me an image of the mother he wanted. When we made this happen for him, I immediately felt the shift from pure hatred to relief.  As a kind of sad peace settled in, he now asked me what we should do with the mother he rejected, and he did this with compassion.  We then worked out a solution that was good for everyone involved, including the mother he rejected.

From this personal experience and from helping others go through their integration process, I have come to trust that the inner child (you called this the fragment or aspect) knows what is needed better than I do and that the inner child is acting out of love, not the opposite.  I also trust the construct of the Completion Process as a safe place to do what is necessary to heal the trauma.  In my mind, it's like a holodeck from Star Trek, where we can experience what needs to be experienced without doing harm.

The key point of our discussion seems to be whether you can trust the inner child to request what is appropriate or whether you need to monitor and control what is suggested. My experience leads me to trust; yours perhaps leads you otherwise?  

It would be interesting to see how our different approaches work in actual integration sessions and how perhaps one day our paths will actually merge. :)

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15 minutes ago, Trinity Anderson said:

@sundyer will the workshop be available to re-watch online? Thanks.

We are reuploading it in better quality. As soon as it's done I'll send out the link to those who bought the ticket or got it in the giveaway. And also the replay will be available for sale :)

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Sometimes when I ask my inner child a question I get answers that that make me wonder if this is my adult self or maybe some other aspect of myself answering instead. What's the best way to deal with this?

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5 hours ago, Jesu said:

Sometimes when I ask my inner child a question I get answers that that make me wonder if this is my adult self or maybe some other aspect of myself answering instead. What's the best way to deal with this?

Jesu, could you please give more context to your question?  Are you doing the Completion Process?  What step are you in? What questions are you asking? Etc.

Edited by Amazawa

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