Saturnine_ Angel

How to find (build) Identity after abuse?

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What do you want to create? 

 

It sounds like you are a blank canvas, some people spend ages trying to get to where you are. So blessed it, embrace and let's create. 

 

Ideally who would you be?

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5 hours ago, Delina said:

What do you want to create? 

 

It sounds like you are a blank canvas, some people spend ages trying to get to where you are. So blessed it, embrace and let's create. 

 

Ideally who would you be?

I want to be like budah. Jesus Christ. Krishna.

Help me gather some real good enlightened models?

1 hour ago, walt said:

Set some goals. Stop throwing road blocks. Stop projecting.

I'm like a clear mirror. Almost impossible not to project.

1 hour ago, walt said:

Set some goals. Stop throwing road blocks. Stop projecting.

Teal's new video seems to be made specially for me! What a synchronicity!

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@Cloudy I love your suggestions, they are so friendly and easy and I have never heard anyone explain them as you have with ease and not that significant but in that I find curiosity. Oh it's so nice. 

 

Even me now that I feel a little low, I am thinking of following your suggestions and just seeing what I like and in that find some energy from liek you said it is an expression of me. so . ..

 

you r awesome 

 

^_^

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On 9/3/2016 at 11:09 AM, Saturnine_ Angel said:

How to find (build) Identity after abuse?

I feel that my identity have been shattered. Destroyed. I feel like I'm a no one. No identity defined. Sense of self. Ego.

Its disturbing. How to build up it again?

Yes. I have been there. What worked for me might not work for you, but it worked for me...

I had an abusive father when I was in high school and its effects continued for many years, leading to drug abuse and finally health problems that followed. After it became clear to me that how I was living was slowly killing me, I did the following (all as a part of getting clean and drug-free)...

I'm proud of you for standing up and finally saying no to abuse. That is going to be a huge step towards healing and getting in touch with your heart again!

1. SLOW DOWN. If you are in a state where you are constantly going, going, going, with no time to rest and breathe, I find it very important to intentionally make some time to just get in touch with how you are feeling. Some days, after I'm done with work, I ask myself what I want most at that moment (food, to draw, dance, listen to music, sleep, etc). Then I take steps to do that thing. When I first got in the practice of finding what I want, I found solitude was very useful. In solitude, the voice of what I desire was not drowned out by what other people desired for me. At the time I began doing this, 'slowing down' meant no longer going to school and working instead.

2. JOURNAL. I began to go out of my way to journal. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I mean, don't beat yourself up if you miss a day or anything, because that won't help anything, but don't give up! I still am in the practice of regularly writing. Journaling, to me, isn't necessarily talking about what I was doing with my life, for me. It's more like a way to write out/draw what I'm feeling, uncensored. I have noticed as an artist that sometimes when I imagine that other people will see what you've written, it can sometimes inhibit my ability to let the creativity flow. So I just keep it in my journal.

3. Take the 365 days of self-love challenge. The basic thing of it is, is before you do anything, anything at all, ask yourself the question "what would someone who loves themselves do?" Then do that thing! Of course, it'll be a little rocky at first as you learn to get in touch with what would be best for you, but with time it does get easier to know what's best for yourself. Teal writes about this process more in detail in her book Shadows Before Dawn.

4. HEALTH. This might not be what you'd expect but I actually found that caring about my health played a huge role in my own healing as well. I did liver flushes (the amazing liver and gallbladder flush) and flushed out probably close to 1000 gallstones over the course of 8 months, which in turn helped open my solar plexus chakra. I also began to get in the practice of heart-centered living and speaking from the heart. In my journey personally, I found that some of the best foods for amplifying and healing your heart are: cacao beans (raw or brewed like coffee), leafy greens (such as spinach, chard, kale, etc), and wild caught fish (especially salmon and sardines). I also found that foods rich in healthy fats helped me nourish my heart such as avocados, coconut oil, hemp seeds.

One of my favorite recipes to nourish the heart is a salad made with sardines in olive oil and avocado over spinach; sprinkle hemp seeds on with some cucumber, garlic, and any other veggies and add a spritz of lemon juice, and voila you have a salad that is specifically designed to heal the heart. I would make this often when I had anxiety problems and found that my anxiety would subside, every single time.

Eventually, you'll begin to find your own distinctive voice through journaling (heck, I would even video journal sometmes). When I am alone, I sometimes talk to myself so I can hear myself; I know that I won't judge me so it's easiest to talk to myself about some things.

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Quote

 

@TessaRae One of my favorite recipes to nourish the heart is a salad made with sardines in olive oil and avocado over spinach; sprinkle hemp seeds on with some cucumber, garlic, and any other veggies and add a spritz of lemon juice, and voila you have a salad that is specifically designed to heal the heart. 

This sounds amazingly delicious and nourishing.  I am totally gonna try it!  Interested in hearing what you did for gallbladder flush too; Im feeling like Im feeling like I need to do some major liver/gallbladder cleansing

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same same and if fact when i forget to notice my progress, to speak kindly to myself, i fall back in to "speed" which is having it's time with me right now. beautiful advice dear and gosh life is a blessing for everyone who has survived abuse. i did a video vlog on that today but reminding those of us who have had it easy and awesome all our life. we still need to remember our greateness everyday or varibles come biting us. 

 

nice

 

BIG up everyone, life is beutiful :vomarine.001:

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15 hours ago, Cloudy said:

Thank you for the kind words! They meant a lot to me. These days I felt stuck with a particular shadow work and you helped me to move on.

YOU are awesome. Cheers!

 

Thank you, I'm coming back to say thank you to receive a compliment since I'm really struggling to be nice to myself. 

 

When im not nice to myself it shows in a way that I rush, "speed" an doing things becomes the norm. And I leave little to no room to receive an reipe benefits of all my hard work.

thank you, wish full awareness that validation is what I'm after, it's ok to want a compliment. 

 

Compliments should be be startard practice in my life for the future starting today. Thank you 

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20 hours ago, WildSage said:

This sounds amazingly delicious and nourishing.  I am totally gonna try it!  Interested in hearing what you did for gallbladder flush too; Im feeling like Im feeling like I need to do some major liver/gallbladder cleansing

Perhaps I can make a thread about it. Teal talks about it briefly in her acne video though! ^-^ Liver flush literally saved me, it's crazy to think where I was compared to where I am now :) It's not your stereotypical 'cleanse' though, just a warning, it's akin to having surgery because you literally expel gallstones haha. Feel free to message me for details though. I used Andreas Moritz's version...

@Delina Yes! We must keep going! Abuse sucks!! <3

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We can build character from the mind. Using hypnosis to access the subconscious and implanting thoughts and suggestions to mould the mind however you wish. Hypnosis is completely safe as long it used for healing.

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I am new to this site. I have been struggling with this too for years. I had my identity destroyed from years of abuse as I was a very outgoing person, now I look so timid and don't want to be bothered which is not something I want to create.

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On 9/8/2016 at 1:37 PM, Cloudy said:

This is only a stage, allow yourself to be the way that makes you feel safe and comfortable. You obviously need this for some reason. As the healing will progress you'll notice that the timidity fades away and you don't even need to do anything. The desire of communication and the openness and the confidence in yourself will come naturally when you're ready.

Possibly. I just hate it because of how it screwed me up in my life nor does it help when people gotta nickpick about it all the time when they don't know what caused me to be like this in the first place. When i was a kid, I was very outgoing and had the confidence, so yea, still rebuilding the confidence.

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On September 3, 2016 at 11:09 AM, Saturnine_ Angel said:

How to find (build) Identity after abuse?

I feel that my identity have been shattered. Destroyed. I feel like I'm a no one. No identity defined. Sense of self. Ego.

Its disturbing. How to build up it again?

I think follow ur passions.  Hobbies or dreams --- if u always wanted to learn to speak Spanish or something.  Take classes.   I don't know.    If u really loved to paint when u were young.   And haven't kept up.   Pick it up again.  

Abuse at its worst tries to undermine the victim's sense of self.    As if u don't exist.   

But u existed once long before u were abused by this current person.  Maybe u were like many of us and grew up in abusive childhood homes.   But even as I relate.   We all had our own self. 

 

Regain autonomy by finding you within 

 

ask angels for help.   They will respond

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On 9/10/2016 at 0:03 PM, Cloudy said:

The causes of timidity left aside, I think this period is meant to shake your connections a little bit, to reconstruct your world. How do you feel about this, sounds true to you? 

Your timidity is going to push away people that aren't really a match to your current vibration. And that's ok. If they can't understand you, if you don't feel allowed to JUST BE when you're in a place of vulnerability than they aren't really your people anymore. Let them go, don't force yourself to [want to] match their expectations and they will quietly disappear. Which is not a bad thing. People go away from our lives, others come in. And those coming in bring always some new form of healing.

 

I see. I was watching something Teal talked about on vulnerability can be tricky to give your heart over to someone else, then they tear it apart. I am doing this challenge of not having expectations even though last night I had an expectation which drove me nuts.

Just thought of something: You are right that could be a period to shake connections a little bit. I have been told my neediness tendencies shows a lot would be nice to get rid of them. People have no idea that I am still trying to heal and not allowing me to do so still being around abuse doesn't help either.

Edited by thetigress
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