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how do i live my life?

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how do i live my life?

If i could ask Teal Swan anything, i would look her in the eyes and just say, Please Help Me.

life tells me that art is what i need to do. for money for fulfillment, but i have no idea how to get there, where i am selling art or doing art in some way. the second i see anyone else doing something i could do or would like to do i am triggered into thinking, its hopeless for me. and that i am not needed or known, that my life is over and i missed my chance. that then, i should just die. 

i am someone who still lives at home. i live with my mother who has hurt me very deeply and triggers me every day, it is very painful to live this life most days. in 2012 i naturally shed my skin with a spiritual experience that took me to well, I'm still trying to unravel consciously the entire ordeal. it did evolve extreme kundalini and my whole family thinking i was crazy, and it lasted several months. then my older brother, died.  after that i got my first real boyfriend,  all at 22.

it might be important to know that i lived in a small room alone, in a house with my mother and uncle form age 15 to 22. during this time i experienced extreme isolation, only leaving the house to go to a part time job sometimes the store. i cried almost every day.

i have my dad and my brother to talk to. with very few other people to talk to about anything. i have not had friends in my life for a very long time.

i have been sloppy in my life. and neglected, and now i have no idea what to do at 26. I have a one year old son that i am not going to leave in daycare or with anyone else so i feel trapped. how do i do anything in life? what do i do?

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