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astralmermaid

Hope on a heartbreak? what would you think in my current situation?

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Hope on a heartbreak? what would you think in my current situation?

Dearest Souls,

I offer you a part of my heart, maybe you can relate, maybe you can write the right words to me,

I met someone special, we just had contact on the internet, we talked about a lot of things and we were kind of close to each other, I completly trusted her, she is different than anyone I've ever met, and so we decided to meet for the first time. its almost two weeks ago but i'm still heartbroken and I'm not sure if my love will ever go away. We had something, we've seen each other for a couple days cause I decided to stay there, I felt her energy was pure and kind of vunerable, I could talk about her eyes all night long, her eyes are like galaxies I wanted to explore but I burned as I touched the first star. It was so intense, even tho she knew about my vunerability and my weakness. I felt a desire to have a relationship with her. And after all these experiences we shared, I had to go home because I love like two hours away from her. one day later she told me that we shouldn't meet again, and at that moment, I felt like every molecule in my body is splitting and every fiber of my being completely collapsed. she said that we aren't on the same wavelenght at the moment and there was not a deep connection. But I knew that we are constantly evolving, we are always shifting our vibration, we are always growing, and just because we are not "meant" for each other at this point in life, doesn't mean it will never work out. My intuition says "one day, be patient" and I feel like our story isn't over. Maybe it is a part of the manifestation of my desire, maybe our paths had to 'separate' for a while to cross each other again. maybe it is a part of healing, but one day it will make sense, nothing is meaningless, everything happens for a reason.

But I'm completely heartbroken, and in  a metaphorically sense, not even morphine could soothe my broken heart. I never knew how hard it is to be uncertain, its like you never know if you are ever going to talk to someone again, hearing their voice again, touching their soft skin. you will slowly forget their smell, their taste, and you can’t say when it will happen again, or anyway at all. These memories won’t leave your head, and someday they will taste bittersweet, a bittersweet nostalgic memory with a mellow tone of melanchony, and every hot summer night will remind you of that person, every star in the sky reminds you of their eyes, even the stillness in between the sounds of countless crickets, the chill of the nightly summerbreeze reminds you of their presence, the warmth reminds you of their touch, every sunset you will ever see reminds you of their beauty. Hope is the only thing that makes the pain bearable, its like a happy pill, a sour happy pill that whisperes “one day” and you believe that, its like believing in something that is not certain, because nothing is certain for any of us, the future unfolds its secrets when you keep going. But I still believe that our paths will cross again. how am I supposed to move on when my heart breaks with every step that I take, because I know that every step that I take, takes me further from the memories, I don’t want them to blurry, I don’t even want them to fade away. I still got catchy records from all the songs we’ve heard when we kissed, I still feel her lips and I still feel her presence even when she is not around. Minutes feel like hours and the hours feel like days. I'd give up anything just to be right by her site. Love doesn't need a thousand of experiences, love itself is timeless and if you love someone, it doesn't have to make sense, and yet there is still hope, because nothing is impossible in a universe that is made of infinite possibilities, even tho that nothing is certain for any of us, this uncertainty still holds all possibilities you can think of.-

 

What do you think? What would you do? Should I follow my intuition? Maybe she has to grow that she's capable of the love I have to  give? Can you say anything? Maybe the right words?

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I can relate to you.. Everyone knows how it feels to be heartbroken but some people suffer a whole lot more than others you probably had an insecure attachement to your mother or father in your childhood so what i would recommend is to do the completion process what you really need is to get rid of some trauma and find selflove.
What makes it hurt so much is your resistance to not being with that person the more you think of any kind of scenarios the worse it will get trust me it wont get better if you dont stop. If you have to wait for the completion process even simple mindfulness meditation should help to stop the momentum of your thoughts.
I had it all the time when i was a teen with girls in my class i could not manage to get trough one year without falling deeply in love with one of them. I was too shy i could not approach them though so i wrote poems to a few of them but this went kinda badly it always ended up that they knew i was in love with them and would start playing games with me playing with my feelings giving me hope only to put me down again. The worst were those nights where i started thinking a lot about what could have been in many scenarios that just led to a whole night without being able to fall asleep and being full of pain especially the next day when i saw them again, the better your imagination is and the smarter you are the worse it gets because its used as fuel to the momentum of those thoughts so you fall even more in love and feel even more pain. But yeah thats where the completion process does wonders and dont forget there is no wrong way of doing it at first it seemed like i cant do it but i just tried it a few times untill i kinda did it in my own way that worked.

Edited by LaucherJunge
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