elegamtiarum

Michelles blog for everyone

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I was lying on the floor, suicidal thoughts again, why is my life so bad as my migraine grows with every question, previous to the thumping headache I was searching through and though threw teals videos once again for an answer, then I hit it she said we came here to be physical beings with physical lifes and wanting non physical experiences and source is looking at us going.... Whaaaaaa? Then she said the most detrimental thing you can do is not commit to life, you commit you live if you don't want to you head to death, I got angry I didn't want this answer I wanted a Michelle its because your here for this or your the stone ? that has this and you can do this blah blah, so as I catch up to myself lying on the floor in pain and nearly pooping myself, I got up on my hands and knees and thought as hard as I could I AM GOING TO COMMIT! I started saying no to myself then again I AM GOING TO COMMIT!!!!! my migraine subsided, I just wanted to go to bed so I did, I feel asleep and woke up wonderfully, then I had to go to work but I didn't want to and the sickness started to rise , I told myself you can't miss today you need to be there, but I messaged and said I can't, I sat inside on the couch and felt sleepy again and I rested, all day I rested and again I had the most for filling sleep, I was amazed, the colours my feelings all amazing, anxiety at a minimum, depression non existent,
Now I am getting the picture, my just being here is enough, I am deep and meaningful and also shallow and simple every moment is amazing and I am aware I am in control of it while forgetting so I can enjoy my own creation, as teal says I am the wonder who forgot she was the wonder.

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