tiffonce

Conflict, worthwhile?

4 posts in this topic

So, if you saw my post before, I asked about Passive Aggressive people. Now, I have the question, should I assert this issue? And, if so, is it best to do face to face?

This passive aggression is deep seated. I believe it's rooted in sleep-training.... I know this person's paternal family really believe in sleep-training and they're all passive-aggressive. 

I feel that he doesn't trust me. 

I'm sure you all could relate to being a spiritual/occult person and being sure that the people around you wouldn't have almost anything in common...
So, I tried to build trust on our common interest in pop music. 
Although, even then, when I love songs, it's because I super enjoy the lyrics, or I'll even just like a song for the beat, I'm not all depth all the time lol. 
But, this person doesn't really know why he likes things so conversations never go beyond, "This is a good song."

I'm not trying to change people, but I don't want hostility. I also haven't made it a habit in my life to be confrontational. I'll be assertive, but I usually choose environments where assertiveness is seen as such. Assertiveness with this person could be seen as aggression. However, he just seems like he'd be fine with this blowing over, be passive aggression, or give me the silent treatment. Of course that would hurt because I'm a human being who doesn't like the feeling of separation, but as long as he doesn't try to sabotage me I'll be fine.

So, do you think it's worth confronting the matter? Or, should I just let this boil over? I feel like he could respond well.... I'm not sure. I feel like this could be setting myself up for cracking someone open to be vulnerable... I'm just guessing the text MIGHT be read, but just ignored and not responded to. 

 

 

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@walt That's too generalized for me. And too finite for me. "screwing with other people's material" I don't quite know what your assumption is. Like do you think I'm trying to do shadow work? I'm just trying to assert some boundaries of what I will and won't accept in how I'm treated. But, with passive aggression, this person doesn't know how they feel. I have to be in school with this person for 4 days a week from September - April. 

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The trouble isn't quite setting a boundary. It's more setting and establishing it and not entirely sure of the blowout it can have. From my research about passive aggression it needs to be addressed head on. In the past, I've just avoided people like this. 

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@walt Is the goal in life to not get burned, though? I had a job where someone was passive aggressive and definitely, I knew for sure from the beginning... was definitely out to take me down. I could feel it was just because she didn't want me to "win". She wanted to control me, and when she couldn't she controlled other peoples' perception of me. I didn't confront that at all because I knew it was a no-win situation. Which was actually a win for her.

But, besides that, this person doesn't seem so malicious. I don't think he's above gossiping about me, but I don't think he'd resort to slander. 

 

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