insightfuldreamer

Barriers to the completion process

10 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

Every time I try to do the completion process, I can't seem to continue through with it. Often, the emotion disappears, or isn't strong enough, and it shifts before I can sink deeper into it. Other times, I get distracted by my imagination, I fall asleep, or I stop because I get bored. Whenever I ask questions like 'when was the first time you felt this emotion'? I don't seem to ever get much of a response such as a memory, or feeling. In the end, I usually just end up getting really frustrated that nothing ever works for me/nothing good ever happens to me and I can't seem to do the process that everyone else can. I feel almost unlucky that I can't do it. Has anyone ever experienced this? how have you overcome this?

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Aha, it happens to people. Teal actually talked about in her completion process webinar. Basically, let yourself fall asleep if you do. But if you get frustrated, go into frustration, or into the "nothingness" of the feeling. It is a distraction mechanism that's trying to help you out in short time here:))
As well, re-triggering can help, by actually you deliberately going into those thoughts, remembering and going into situation that caused those feelings. I think the most painful emotions might be guarded in that "innocent" distraction way. I get it too, when it comes to specific triggers and situations.
I sometimes postpone the trigger, because I'm so acclimatized to the feeling,  I think it's just part of my "normal" reality. 

Feeling does disappear when the mind gets enough seconds to distract itself, but if you actually go back in mind with it, the feeling comes back. Maybe a dodgy example but maybe you had an experience when you've just broken up with someone and your friends took you to the bar and you're "having fun" but in reality when you get present even for a second, the pain comes back and you remember the whole situation and pain strikes you. So I think distractions can work in a similar way. You just have to notice it and don't yourself get carried away by short term alleviation. 

To acknowledge, they're not the enemy, as every single thing happening in your body is trying to help/save you in some way. This tie - to experience the emotion so intense you couldn't handle it. 

With memory bit, it might take a while until you get it, depending on what age the trauma was imprinted. As babies do not conceptualize the surroundings as a bit more grown children do, so their perception only happens through feelings, therefore, if you don't receive visual or any type of memory,don't worry, nothing is going wrong. It's just that the memory is only feeling based, so keep on sitting with the feeling and move deeper into it.

Hope it helps!

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Teal has also mentioned that people who have a strong belief that they are NOT ALLOWED to have certain emotions, will not have access to those emotions. It's like a layer of ice covering over the emotions. She suggests shifting to asking: when was the first time I was told that this emotion is not allowed?  That in itself is a trauma that can be integrated. Once done, you may find access to the underlying emotion that was previously "not allowed."

I also noted your words here: "I usually just end up getting really frustrated that nothing ever works for me/nothing good ever happens to me and I can't seem to do the process that everyone else can. I feel almost unlucky that I can't do it."

That is a very strong belief, and it will likely stop you from completing the process. Please consider exploring what led you to have such a strong belief in your limitations. Dissolving that belief and replacing it with the truth that you are in fact all powerful may help you with using the process on other traumas.

Blessings.

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Teal's discussion about the layer of ice that prevents us from diving deeply into the sea of emotions is very relevant..she suggested that many people will have that experience, so if you haven't seen the completion process webinar on Live stream I really think you should watch it 

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Thanks for all the useful info and advice. I do find that I am quite hard on myself trying to get the process 'right', and also have the fear that I'll never overcome these barriers. These barriers feel just like the barriers I felt towards succeeding academically and socially where it felt like it was impossible and it was unfair that everyone else could. It almost feels like a desperation to succeed thus feel accepted.

Whenever I try the completion process now, I usually just feel my heart beating really fast and sometimes this continues for quite a while for every emotion. Has anyone else experienced this? What happens next? I've never gotten further than that. I used to be quite numb for number of years. I'm not too sure whether I have an issue with allowing myself to feel now though. I usually like to create a safe place before I start and repeat to myself "it is safe to feel."

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Are you me? Exact same thing happening here :( I get so angry and overwhelmed with it all and jealous that other people can use it but for some reason it doesn't work for me. 

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On 19/08/2016 at 0:40 AM, Ruth said:

Aha, it happens to people. Teal actually talked about in her completion process webinar. Basically, let yourself fall asleep if you do. But if you get frustrated, go into frustration, or into the "nothingness" of the feeling. It is a distraction mechanism that's trying to help you out in short time here:))
As well, re-triggering can help, by actually you deliberately going into those thoughts, remembering and going into situation that caused those feelings. I think the most painful emotions might be guarded in that "innocent" distraction way. I get it too, when it comes to specific triggers and situations.
I sometimes postpone the trigger, because I'm so acclimatized to the feeling,  I think it's just part of my "normal" reality. 

Feeling does disappear when the mind gets enough seconds to distract itself, but if you actually go back in mind with it, the feeling comes back. Maybe a dodgy example but maybe you had an experience when you've just broken up with someone and your friends took you to the bar and you're "having fun" but in reality when you get present even for a second, the pain comes back and you remember the whole situation and pain strikes you. So I think distractions can work in a similar way. You just have to notice it and don't yourself get carried away by short term alleviation. 

To acknowledge, they're not the enemy, as every single thing happening in your body is trying to help/save you in some way. This tie - to experience the emotion so intense you couldn't handle it. 

With memory bit, it might take a while until you get it, depending on what age the trauma was imprinted. As babies do not conceptualize the surroundings as a bit more grown children do, so their perception only happens through feelings, therefore, if you don't receive visual or any type of memory,don't worry, nothing is going wrong. It's just that the memory is only feeling based, so keep on sitting with the feeling and move deeper into it.

Hope it helps!

Definately helps! Thanks @Ruth

8 hours ago, Epona said:

Are you me? Exact same thing happening here :( I get so angry and overwhelmed with it all and jealous that other people can use it but for some reason it doesn't work for me. 

May be you dont have any trauma. Please check if you have at least one. Rest will follow

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I completely disagree that they don't have any trauma, I think they do and it sounds like you are disassociating from the trauma. Everyone has trauma. If the process doesn't really work for you, if you find yourself distracting, numbing out or feeling less, you are disassociating from the emotion. In Teal's most recent youtube video where she does the completion process with the girl with social anxiety in the pizza place, Teal talks about this. I've noticed I do this too, and I realized that I have a large pattern of disassociation all throughout my life. Teal says to chose whichever feeling is the strongest, the disassociation - the numbness - or the physical or emotional feeling and ask it the same questions and let the answers come to you :)

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I think, we must choose a suitable time to practice. Morning or day time may not be good bcos of distractions. Also, i remember teal once said 'create the feelings'...go out and create, trauma most probably will re-surface

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