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Hi how are all of you

In my tags I have included some major aspects of myself, though they don't define who I am a human being, they definitely can help me find people on here who have at least these things in common with me.

I'm queer and transgender (pansexual/ androgynous), I use they/them pronouns, originally from the midwest now in the north east.

I enjoy making art and music. I have just begun practicing what may be called chaos magic, though I feel I've been practicing chaos manifestation my whole life. I feel synchronicity is a huge part of my life, and that I am a person who's very in touch with their body and soul. Especially considering the abuse that I have endured as I am a trauma survivor.

Lately I've been having intense amazing psychedelic visions while sober (mostly in a meditative state) and have had my spirit guide instruct me to do several things in life in order to become more positive.

I am healing from Chronic C-PTSD. I have a litany of symptoms that in the past have gotten in the way of relationships and jobs. I am still working on my self-esteem and anxiety. Lately my worst symptom is being clingy with my girlfriend. Though this is true, I resolve to not feel ashamed about it and re-shape my behavior patterns. 

I refuse to abandon myself while I'm making headway on dealing with complex emotions. That is why I have decided to dedicate as much time as I can to re-wiring my brain and to loving myself. I have spent most of my life with complex emotions about my identity but now I feel I am really stepping into my power. There is pain involved in that process. Pain of letting go of old habits, but I resolve to feel and accept my pain in order to move on with life.

Karate has been a huge part of that for me, and I intend to follow that practice until I master it, so I can teach other people who struggle with disorders that I have struggled with.

*deep breath* WOOO! Thanks for reading! Off to the forums!

Saul

 

 

 

 

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