NightRain

How to stop mentally beating myself up

3 posts in this topic

I used to have a pretty bad addiction to cutting and burning (I'd even do it under the desk in high school classes). I veery rarely do it now. It just doesn't provide me with the same blissful feeling it used to, I'm always disappointed. But on bad days, each time I think a thought I don't want to think, or say something I think I shouldn't have said etc, I visualize the actions and feelings of cutting, burning, stabbing myself, chopping off a limb, being raped. Then I'm angry for visualizing that, and do it more. I've been learning about the connection between thoughts,  emotions and physical ailments and see how damaging this dynamic with myself is. But trying to shift it just looks like more criticism about being critical, just a circle of violence. "Fuck  you, Sofia" is in my mind all day.  Any tips on how to stop hurting myself? Smoking weed helped me for a long time, but I've just quit to stop escaping myself, and it's all here again. This is a pattern I inherited from my mother. 

Edited by NightRain
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usually when I'm alone with my thoughts I spiral down, nobody telling me that's not true or getting a different perspective on myself. if you have someone who will hear you and not say get over it or something like that, that helps. I never cut, but I would grow my nails long and dig in when my thoughts just spiraled down. you need someone to hear you and all your dark stuff and still love you after it, not judge you and want to run away. expressing really helps with that.

Teal made a video on this, she said whenever she would want to cut herself she would either see a picture of herself as a kid or imagine cutting that kid, and she couldn't do it after that. or it was hard to cut her inner child.

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Honest to god I can relate to the unwanted thoughts because that's literally been me the past few weeks it's been on and off but the last few days it's been hurting me mentally and emotionally and only today have I stopped it. It was thoughts about all the darkness in the world and how I wish it wouldn't happen such as rape and child abuse, I've had to realise a lot such as objective views and I kept reading teals book which says I can change my thoughts but didn't know how to until a couple of hours ago i watched an interview with teal in which she says how she came about her revelation and it changed everything for me. She said when she was young and getting raped on the carpet, she saw her guide who told her to become the carpet, so teal imagined herself as the carpet and how soft it feels, she discovered that positively focusing on something can change her emotions, so she kept

doing it and she escaped eventually. Also, watch her video is your mind friend or foe? Because yes ur emotions are like crying children but so is your mind, we have to realise that no thought is bad or good, thoughts are like children in a way. Moreover, because u feel that way about what u say and think, remember the child, ur inner child, get a picture of it if u had to and when u look at it u realise u would never hurt a child but most of all your inner child. I hope this helps if u need to express anything at all no matter how what it is we are all here for you ?

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