Damon is Awesome

Healing Sexual Shame?

14 posts in this topic

I wanted to get some advice for healing my sexuality. I was shame for it at a very young age, and through my teenage years shamed, no one taught me what sex was, at school it focused on the body, then there was the internet, after being shamed and curious at a young age, I developed an addiction to porn but also used that as an escape from my emotional abuse from my parents, and when my parents found out, well, lets just say one time my dad threatened to hit me with the laptop, it was a dark past, I was never told what sex was so what I saw on screen I thought was pleasurable, but even that was shamed. I have managed to quit it this year, 2016 being the year of purity,I started at the end of last year looking into masculitnity and feminity and conscious sex, I literally since a couple months ago, have not even desired someone based COMPLETELY on their physical attraction, and then I realised that millions of boys and adultlescents do this, literally millions say 'I want to shag her' then making her worth based on a single physical aspect such as her ass. I have realised how completely fucked up sexuality is to those who are not conscious. Of course now I see people on the mental, emotional and physical planes, yes it is wonderful to compliment a womans body with the knowing that, that is just a single part of the whole spectrum of what makes a woman beautiful, what about her eyes? her love for animals? her shadow side? the way she thinks about the world? I came to the realistation that all people are beautiful, yes I may not be attracted to all of them that is my own subjectivity, but beauty lies in everyone. I have to admit I find this a little bit healing writing how I express my own views on sexuality to everyone here, thank you. But, I'm still on my path, I, wanted to know, is there any other way besides shadow work, to help myself heal my sexuality? I will do shadow work if I am in an intense level of emotion of course, but slow little steps, such as visulaisations or positive focus? anyone got any?

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So, you might already know that a 'shiv lingam' is a representation of the Hindu deity Lord Shiva and Adi Shakti. Masculinity and femininity. When trying to connect with my divine femininity, I felt it important to also connect with the divine masculine. By researching the old Hindu stories of Shiva and Adi Shakti, it was an inspiring way for me to connect with my sexuality.

It is said, that in the beginning, there was Shiva. Adi Shakti, simply danced around the energy that is Shiva, causing him to explode into desire. Big bang sort of theory. - Without creative energy (femininity), there is no forward movement (masculinity). I mean, you can go to town with the symbolism.

 

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9 hours ago, nuia said:

So, you might already know that a 'shiv lingam' is a representation of the Hindu deity Lord Shiva and Adi Shakti. Masculinity and femininity. When trying to connect with my divine femininity, I felt it important to also connect with the divine masculine. By researching the old Hindu stories of Shiva and Adi Shakti, it was an inspiring way for me to connect with my sexuality.

It is said, that in the beginning, there was Shiva. Adi Shakti, simply danced around the energy that is Shiva, causing him to explode into desire. Big bang sort of theory. - Without creative energy (femininity), there is no forward movement (masculinity). I mean, you can go to town with the symbolism.

 

Oh wow thanks will check that out

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4 hours ago, Mikaela said:

Applause to you?? i wish that people in my environment would realize this more. Connection feels much safer having that kind of perspective.

What has helped me is to be so authentic as possible about it (which you are clearly doing too) , but i feel like the real real healing for me will be to have a conscious relationship with someone who doesnt condemn sexuality. But before I can attract that i still need some  integrating to do?

Shame is really a difficult one.. Im curious to see peoples advice on this

 

Yes same I'm attracting someone who loves their sexuality and sees it as fun but also the life force of the universe. I managed to go back last night when changing my negative core beliefs and identified some shame. I watched teals video about it and it made sense of course, so last night I managed to change my beleofs to beneficial ones about sexuality and what it is, for instance now I use my sacral chakra when visualising/manifesting alongside my heart chakra. And I also

watched teals latest interview and it was so wonderful because if you are so focuses on healing like basically everything in ur past then ur being will say no it won't work because it wants to let u know u DONT have to be obsessed with healing, let it come naturally and be authentic. Which basically took the weight of my shoulders hahah

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I'm gonna advice something I want myself with my own sexual shame.

One thing I want is to be allowed by a woman no matter what I feel. Because growing up I was barely allowed to be me by my parents. So healing in this way is for my body to feel ok with being around a partner closely and that it is ok to feel sexual around them. 

Teal said in a video that sexual energy and life energy is basically the same energy. So I figured that anything that has affected your life energy is automatically gonna affect your sexuality.

Question 1: where in your life has your being felt suppressed from life? (when you have found it you can use shadow work processes to clear it)
Question 2: where in your life here and now can you practice opening up your flow of life?  

The answer for me is pretty much a little bit of everything and in some areas a lot of it. The opening up for life is the challenging question for me...feel unsure of what a genuine positive living feels like.

Edited by Jerry Tyfting
wanted to add a little tip
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2 hours ago, Jerry Tyfting said:

I'm gonna advice something I want myself with my own sexual shame.

One thing I want is to be allowed by a woman no matter what I feel. Because growing up I was barely allowed to be me by my parents. So healing in this way is for my body to feel ok with being around a partner closely and that it is ok to feel sexual around them. 

Teal said in a video that sexual energy and life energy is basically the same energy. So I figured that anything that has affected your life energy is automatically gonna affect your sexuality.

Question 1: where in your life has your being felt suppressed from life? (when you have found it you can use shadow work processes to clear it)
Question 2: where in your life here and now can you practice opening up your flow of life?  

The answer for me is pretty much a little bit of everything and in some areas a lot of it. The opening up for life is the challenging question for me...feel unsure of what a genuine positive living feels like.

Defiantly asking those questions now thanks so much

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Hello, Damon. 

I think it is very natural for us to explore our own sexuality. Children start doing this at a very young age. 

It's not your fault you had limited knowledge  or access to information about sex. So, of course, turning to porn and exploring it was a logical outcome. I don't think you need to shame yourself for this. We all know that porn can be very ugly, but i am sure you have learned something from it too!

You simply wanted to know more. So, give yourself a credit and move on to the next level :)

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10 minutes ago, Garnet said:

Hello, Damon. 

I think it is very natural for us to explore our own sexuality. Children start doing this at a very young age. 

It's not your fault you had limited knowledge  or access to information about sex. So, of course, turning to porn and exploring it was a logical outcome. I don't think you need to shame yourself for this. We all know that porn can be very ugly, but i am sure you have learned something from it too!

You simply wanted to know more. So, give yourself a credit and move on to the next level :)

I actually needed this, I know I tell myself this but hearing it from someone else is healing itself.  Thanks you so much

Edited by Damon is Awesome
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Damon, your topic resonates so much with me. I was told at a young age sex was a bad thing ect. This led to a lack of self worth and relationship issues. Porn can be a tool to provide that which is lacking, eg sexual stimulation , but usually only satisfies for a very short time and is often involved with emotions such as guilt. It can also be used as form of dopamine hit to make us feel better. What worked for me was to open up about it and not blame myself. It was easily healed once I started doing this. I have a partner and our relationship has boomed since I dealt with this. Sex has never been better as it is a more spiritual event for both of us. When two souls become one at the point of climax , it truly is a wonderful thing.

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9 hours ago, Craig said:

Damon, your topic resonates so much with me. I was told at a young age sex was a bad thing ect. This led to a lack of self worth and relationship issues. Porn can be a tool to provide that which is lacking, eg sexual stimulation , but usually only satisfies for a very short time and is often involved with emotions such as guilt. It can also be used as form of dopamine hit to make us feel better. What worked for me was to open up about it and not blame myself. It was easily healed once I started doing this. I have a partner and our relationship has boomed since I dealt with this. Sex has never been better as it is a more spiritual event for both of us. When two souls become one at the point of climax , it truly is a wonderful thing.

That's absolutely beautiful, thanks so much 

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you are so brave, thank you for sharing... I am only just realizing how much shame I really have. I wasnt even looking for this post, but it found me.

being human is so hard some days

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23 hours ago, greyswan said:

you are so brave, thank you for sharing... I am only just realizing how much shame I really have. I wasnt even looking for this post, but it found me.

being human is so hard some days

Ur welcome, it is hard sometimes

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I painted this a while back, and it took me forever to upload it but I wanted to share. It was what I created as I was realizing how much shame I had to overcome. aptly named, overcoming shame.

2016 024.JPG

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32 minutes ago, greyswan said:

I painted this a while back, and it took me forever to upload it but I wanted to share. It was what I created as I was realizing how much shame I had to overcome. aptly named, overcoming shame.

2016 024.JPG

its beautiful

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