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  • Latest Posts

    • I am not sure if my own “spiritual experiences” have given me access to higher truths.  Some of my intuitions that I have had when I have been in a “spiritual state” have been completely wrong. When I say “spiritual state” I don’t mean high on drugs. And I must admit that I cannot confirm the states I assume were spiritual were actual “spiritual states”. ”Spiritual states” might turn certain “spiritual functions” on but on the other hand what might be happening is that certain mental functions are turned off.  I don’t know.
    • Unless you are working in a place that has a certain %of gratitude included with every check, I really can't see how the job like this can provide one with security. From my past experience waitressing is perhaps the most unstable job I've ever had and despise good money I was making it was not good enough for me to want to come back there.  Another thing that you can always try in case you are not sure about changing the place is to move up into a higher position that way you can always learn new skills and it'll give you more options to choose from.  
    • Hi @Done Now first off i apologize for the super long break.  After writing about all this stuff I felt like i just wanted to run away and zone out for a while so I didn’t check it for a very long time. Many things have happened.  I am very very thankful to you and your wife. Thank you so much for caring and sharing this with her and asking her for advice etc. thank you for taking the time to try to help me and write me. I truly and deeply appreciate this. What you said is spot on, thank you for validating me, it helped a ton in making me feel less aloneand cared about!  Things have improved quite a lot, even though it seems it’s swinging to the other side now., which worries me again.. It seems he’s under the impression of needing to please me now and trying to make everything the way he thinks it’s right for me. Which is not what’s I want. I don’t want him to try to please me, just respect me and consider me as a respectable human being.  i almost feel like it’s useless talking about it, because I really don’t see the light here anymore. It’s all dull and intervowen with so much ‘offness’ that I feel extremely judgemental and just not in the right place.  I am more and more tending to just leave. It sucks but I don’t think this is going anywhere really positive anytime soon. now that that’s fixed different issues are coming up, he leaves me with his kids all night alone without me knwoing he even left (he was supposed to come home from work at around 11) no clue where he is and when he’ll be back. I have to call him in the middle of he night to find out and he tells me I’ll be home soon... then he told me stayed longer at work because they were oh so busy. Which I know is a lie because he’s been drinking with his two alc friends... he then goes on to use the unreasonable argument that what he did was ok because he’s a man and works so hard, he should be able to go out... (I don’t have a problem with that at all, and that’s not the point. The point is that he didn’t tell me anything and just left me with his kids)  i really don’t know why the hell im still here. I just don’t know where else to go. I would be homeless...  He told me he doesn’t Think communication is important, is very avoidant when it comes to anything, threatened to beat me and told me im a bitch for always wanting to share my feelings with him, his son started smoking weed heavily and his dad doesn’t seem to be too bothered... I’m just so tired of it...    how do I get out? I’m wasting away and not even taking care of myself anymore. I don’t eat enough, don’t drink enough... and I’m very very depressed.         
    • Everyone wants to have both feet planted in relative security, but if you don't place one foot outside of that in the unknown and chaotic, you won't be giving yourself a fair chance to succeed in your goal of moving on, which is out there in the unknown and chaotic world. It wouldn't be the end of everything if you failed once or a few times. It takes a few attempts for many people, but it's worth it.
    • If drugs are gateways then is meth a gateway to this world.
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