Forums

  1. Discussion

    1. 11,945
      posts
    2. 1,778
      posts
    3. 1,766
      posts
    4. 1,079
      posts
    5. 982
      posts
    6. 3,458
      posts
  2. The Completion Process

    1. 1,349
      posts
    2. 489
      posts
  3. Teal Swan's Work

    1. 895
      posts
    2. 57
      posts
  4. Community

    1. 388
      posts
    2. 497
      posts
    3. 278
      posts
    4. 1
      post
    5. 38
      posts
    6. 44
      posts
    7. 5
      posts
    8. 56
      posts
  5. Front Desk

    1. 347
      posts
  • Latest Posts

    • Day 331 of 'What would someone who loves themselves do?'  A friend of mine found out her parent is a narcissist as is going through the pain learning she's been abused and gaslit. She posted an article written assertively as fact by someone who could have only known these violations for themselves. Reading it led me to feel like I had made a big mistake in telling my family about my ambition to start a business, sustain myself financially, and even move away in less than a year. By doing the The Work I had come to more of a peaceful place, but by reading this article I realized I may have let my defenses down to my detriment. Just because I would never throw a bar at someone's knees doesn't mean it may not be done to me purposely or unintentionally. Imagining my mother as capable of this makes me want to cry, and then I feel I'm exaggerating. Perhaps I won't see clearly until I have spent some time away from family.  "In healthy families, a parent with good self-esteem would be able to apologize and accept wrongdoing. In the narcissistic family, the scapegoat is smeared, and brainwashed into believing the they are the problem." "Perpetrators always paint a potential threat as crazy. It's how they manipulate the situation in order to deflect and divert from their terrible behavior. The narcissist is the master of deflection, and blame shifting. From a young age, the scapegoat is trained to look internally at their every fault, to over correct their own behavior, to accept that in every given situation they are wrong, crazy, deranged and dysfunctional. This use of mind control and deflection takes the head off the narcissist, who now has the scapegoat over analyzing themselves, and wondering if they truly are crazy." "In the narcissist family poking at the scapegoat until they explode is a team sport, aided and abetted by the narcissist. The narcissist wants the child to explode. It is a set up to keep them under control, and seen in a poor light as an over-reactive child, with emotional regulation problems. When the child gets upset, the narcissistic parent may tell the child they're crazy, that they remind the narcissist of a mentally ill family member, or that they need help. The terribly sad reality her is that the child has no idea they are being baited for reactions by the narcissist, all for one reason and one reason only; to enhance the families negative perception of the scapegoat." http://parenting.exposed/the-family-scapegoat-set-up/ Memories of proof of this and more mentioned in the article started to flood back to me. I'm not over the emotional damage of being in group homes and forced to be medicated when I stood up for myself. I know the rage of my intentions being completely distorted then treated like a mentally unstable person accused of an attempt of burning down my house. What's worse I know my heart, and I still constantly question my judgement, along with my worth and capabilities. Where was my encouragement, love and support? Trying to understand her reasons only justifies her actions, because I can see them all through eyes of compassion. What about the fact that I'm not crazy, that I've always loved my mother and never tried to hurt her. How could she have been so cold and so vastly misunderstand me in return for sympathy from her new husband and those surrounding her? I feel that everything she has done was for her own self preservation sparked by the trauma of how she was raised while her boundaries were trampled on.  Clearly things are still unresolved within me. It took months to be around my mother without detest after my first realizations. I don't want to be angry and defensive. Is saying it was a silly idea to move and start a business a smart way to protect myself? Isn't that fear a vibrational match to the narcissistic sabotage I'm trying to avoid in the first place? Either way, it's seeing my mother as a malicious person instead of someone who is traumatized and imperfect. Does that trauma make it ok for her to downplay my feelings when I bring up that my health has declined from mold and now asbestos? I feel I will avoid these topics and stand my ground with confidence. I just don't want to believe that my confidence in my ability to take care of myself would be met with resistance. 
    • I am a sex worker.  What are the spiritual dangers in anything? Be self aware, and you will know what they are for you. "Sex work" in and of itself is neutral, a product of our system and environment. We make sex work "good" or "bad". What does the topic bring up in you? Why?   What would the dangers be for you personally? How do you feel about sex? What are your traumas around connection? How do you feel about your body?  Answering all of these quesrtions and more will allow you to know whether or not pursuing sex work is healthy or unhealthy for you, and what you need to work on and heal within yourself in order to perform sex work or not as you see fit.    It's all up to you. There is no one else creating your reality except you - sex work is what YOU make it - not what anyone else (projecting their own traumas, insecurities, and other spiritual bull shit) says it is, or says it must be.   We, as a society, have a MASSIVE wound around sex, (which of course means we have massive wounds around life and death), women, men, our bodies, our physicality, and our spirituality. This is reflected in "sex work" as it is seen today. But only you can know the answers for yourself.   Personally, I ground myself daily, I keep a VERY healthy lifestyle and take very good energetic and physical care of myself. I always cleanse after and before work, and I always allow myself to sit with my emotions and process the traumas and feelings that come up in me at work. Sex work for me has been very helpful in healing myself, and very helpful in seeing myself clearly - because how you feel about yourself IS going to be reflected through you with sex work (like all work, but especially so in highly stigmatized work dealing with sex, gender, gender and sex roles, and life and death).
    • There is a good video explaining some of it. Note: it's from 2014 https://youtu.be/w23sVtLV4Zo I've been looking into energy work myself as well as what is called sacred energy exchange (sex) which happens between chakras,  and from what I can tell a lot of the exchange "stops" or begins to slow down around the third chakra (also known as Solar plexus) due to different power struggles.. sometimes to the point where people begin to literally "squash" one another.  To reach the next chakra (the Heart) and truly open it,  one must find the balance within his power. Understanding sexuality/sex empowers people, they begin to feel good about themselves.  The dark side of it is that this force is Fire. Fire has the ability to keep us warm, nurture and protect. But it needs to be contained in something much like when setting up the fire in the woods when camping out, we usually use heavy logs, put rocks around and protect fire from wind and rain. And when the wind is too strong... we put the fire out. Without the container and proper care the fire is deadly. It burns and destroys everything around. It is always easier to start the fire than to stop it when it's going out of control. And we all know and have seen the damage the fire can do... unless, of course, there is water and sand than it is not always as bad. All this is not to say that all our chakras are "closed"... no. I heard of a very beautiful analogy today that our body is like a flute or clarinet and depending on how you depress each note, you create music throughout the body.          
    • Day 330 of 'What would someone who loves themselves do?'  Do the dishes. Clean your house and wake up to your alarm.  I don't want to, although not doing it ensures I continue to feel like crap. 
    • Garnet, Thank you so so much for your kind words. They mean a lot. Yes, you're absolutely right. I don't want to "blame and leave"; I just want her to realize what has been happening in her life, how her childhood affected what she has been experiencing her entire life. I want her to own her mistakes and accept it. Living in denial and blaming others can be very painful. She thinks she is the victim, and a good mother. Honesty, it does wake up a lot of anger inside of me.  That's the thing, I want to rely on her, and she wants to rely on me. But she is only willing to do so if I comply with her life norms and ideas. It is very painful, especially when she does not say it, but implies it and by doing that manipulates and uses me. I feel used and not accepted. She desperately wants me to be "good"; but I cannot be good anymore. I want to be myself. I feel like support is a very intimate action... It cannot occur without love and acceptance. It just feels fake and forcing...  I guess I will allow myself to go through all of the things I want to talk to her about, all of the things that make me angry and sometimes ignorant. And I will write them down and present when talking to a professional.  Thank you for your words again ♥️
  • Topics - Most Commented This Week

  • Search

    Search The Forum