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#88

What makes me lose my connection to myself and what makes me get that connection back?

(Answer In The Comments Below )
From "100 Of The Most Powerful Questions You Can Ask Yourself"

Nothing has the power to completely alter perspective and therefore your thoughts and actions and life quite like a question. Inquiry leads to understanding. The quality of the answers we arrive at, correspond directly to the quality of question we ask. The better the question, the better the answer. One of the most important things to realize about a question is that a person learns far, far more from the process and work involved in answering a question than from the answer itself. This is why spiritual teachers throughout history (including myself) have tended to pose so many questions to their students rather than to simply offer a direct answer. For this reason, I have selected a collection of 100 of the most powerful questions that you can ask yourself.

Make sure to take time to carefully consider each question that is posed in order to meaningfully answer them. And don’t forget to come back to these questions again and again throughout your life, especially whenever you are feeling stuck, because the answers will most likely change over the course of your life and also cause you to change your course in life.

- Teal Swan


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Not feeling understood or accepted by people I care about, not having my wants, thoughts and feelings validated. Depending on how much my truth diverges from what (I think) is expected of me, I push parts of me aside. As soon as I am alone, I feel nervous, insecure about what to do, super unintuitive and try to continue the distraction from myself. I need to be alone for a good day or so to get back in touch. And then it helps to reconsider what I identified as core values and feel good, empowering activities in more connected moments. Those activities are things such as taking care of my body or my environment, cleaning, taking a shower, wearing comfortable clothes, drinking my favorite tea, going for a run with nice music, trying a new yoga flow, conscious breathing, singing, watching a Teal episode, journaling,... But ONE THING AT A TIME.

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Becoming too focused on the past or future and therefore losing the ability to recognise the present moment. Usually I do this by allowing myself to become my thoughts/feelings rather than just acknowledging them and letting them go. This usually manifests as anxiety or depression and can be really tough to shake! But having awareness about my thoughts helps bring me back to the present moment and helps reestablish the connection to myself - the consciousness/life force that is aware of my thoughts is the true me. 

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Being around people who I don't feel comfortable with. Or being around something that my mind labels as negative then it will drag me into superstition. To get out of this state I'll try and make myself question my resistance and see if I can release it which sometimes I can

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What makes me loose my connection to myself...

being in a very close relationship I allow myself to get swallowed up even sometimes when I think I’m there and I’ve got it this time 

I get myself back in between 

I rebuild sort of understand where my choices took me

repeated a lot changed a lot still learning 

 

 

 

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Taking other peoples sides over my own and abandoning myself. 

I wish I knew how to reconnect to myself. I think taking myself, my emotions, my life above all else will be a great start. 

I suffer a lot and I do not know what to do even after I watched Teal's suffering video it did not work for me at all. 

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What makes me lose connection with myself is tiredness and frustration and perceived overwhelm and the need to control all people and outcomes. What makes me reconnect with myself is realising what I'm doing, drink water, have something to eat and move my body. 

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And to answer the question:

Not *trusting* my inner knowing which leads to self-doubt which = loss of connection. The reasons for that happening to begin with have varied. 

I think the biggest game changer was rediscovering radical self-worth. And reviewing all the times in my life when my intuition was right instead of focusing on what went wrong. AND finding the core beliefs underneath (without judgement) and creating the third option when there’s a split. Powerful stuff

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People pleasing makes me lose that connection to self. Not in terms of just helping people but when I do it so that the person is pleased with me or likes me.  I can feel the difference internally. 
 

What brings back that connection is getting back to myself. Gratitude has been immensely helpful. Because I find when I can connect with the good in my life, I don’t need to look elsewhere for my value. 

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Thoughts of self-hate and self-rejection.

Lovingly taking care of the part of me that is thinking those thoughts and the part of me that is hurt by them

 

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feeling powerless makes me lose connection to self, I go into reactivity mode. Fear of being abandoned also.

Having a sense of power makes me feel connected to myself & confident. Feeling assured that I will be accepted also.

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I do too many things for connectedness with others, I spend to much time and energy on helping them solve their problem, I made their problems ours, it makes me loose myself out of sight. 

My therapist does think I do this cause I want to get away from myself. Cause I told her, cause my mother told me. Thats not actually true. I did it because I felt lonely. And my end goal was friendship and connectedness.

I though dont really feel alot less lonely through my actions, a little maybe. But overall just more lost. 

I also realise, weither and how much you click with others, doesnt depend on how much you do for them, but more on how much your overall vibes click.

I dont regrett helping people, though I guess (hopefully) in the future I wont put myself so much back in the line.

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