Other people not agreeing or understanding my vision 

Not being part of the mainstream 

being publicly criticized 

Going through heartbreak, the pain of relationships. This was an eye opener for me, cos I avoid relationships, don’t want them, turn off to them, surprised me that this came to me first. When I think about it I’ve learnt the most about myself from this kind of pain. And that’s been the rose. 

Feel my pain when letting go of codependency. The healing process can be painful. Accept the pain body once in a while

I would choose the pain of discipline over the pain of regret in not being able to live my life according to my truest values. I write when I am feeling down and I write when I feel exhilarated so it must say something about what I value doing. 
 

Making living from doing what I love doing is my second most important value; I choose the pain of discipline and finding ways to be useful to my fellow human beings.  

Not being accepted by others. Rejection. I think I would rather be myself with my flaws included than try and live up to someone else’s version of how I should be. 

Occasional slight discomfort. Like sickness or injury.

Very sharp, thin, smooth thorns. Quick sting, quick heal. 

Pain of Rejection to find people to connect with.

love

I'm willing to choose any pain caused by myself. I strongly believe in the guidance of the inner voice, the higher consciousness and the source of the universe. If I'm suffering, it means that I haven't learned my lesson yet and that I still refuse to see, face and accept the truth. So I'm willing to say yes to pain, truly embrace it and learn from it to prevent myself from making the same mistakes twice. Sometimes the universe puts us in a dark situation only to open up our eyes and break our disfunctional paterns. The universe wants us to expand and expanding means awareness, inner peace, love and happiness.

- Evelyna

The secondary trauma I am exposed to at work to help others heal themselves.

Have no idea. Ill take what life throws at me and giving up of controlling it. Feels that the universe knows better what thorns I can take. And I take them on with respect. Don't really care about roses. As it takes all the thorns to climb, before you get to the blossom of the rose.

None

Ide choose physical pain, loosing a leg for instance, over loosing a loved one.

Ide go through more pain again giving birth.

Im willing and able to have very harsh and passionate fights with someone in order to find connection and also resolve:) Yes connection and resolve, both of those. My venus and Lilith are in Aries:) This can end up "getting physical"XD

I make myself a fool by telling someone I love them who wants to break up or probably isnt all that into me anymore.

Ide rather stalk someone I want to share my love with, who ghosts me, instead of accepting this:)

I prefere beeing homeless or begging for money instead of asking people who abused me or dont want to help me anyways for help. And I prefer beeing completely alone than playing pretend with these people.

I let people who dont know me, talk to me about me. In order to decide weither this is someone i can actually open up to, without letting them in on details.  In other words I let them finish the picture of my issues in order to see how they think and feel about me or others. (And most people arent worth it for me) But anyways I let this go on... for a while. listening to a bunch of bullcrap (about meXD) and after some time letting them in on things.. Cause i not only want them to see something they are not seeing, I want to shake their aproach they have towards people. (cause this actually annoys the fuck out of me). And I prefer this over having to explain and prove a point again and again.. (because often times peoples thoughts and opinions, even about you as they are standing infront of you, have little to do with you, and are unchangeable) Many people are caught up in their egos without ever noticing, cause they dont believe or know an ego exsists. Also PsychologistsXD wich is actually hilarious. And if you touch their worldview they get angry:)

I used to take on pain in these situations in order to remain close to this person I was never close to beginn with. And this has changed, I accept that this just isnt compatible and move on..  (less needy one could call it that way, more secure within myself)

Ide rather discossiate body parts of me (constantly) and have physical pain, or develope an actual bodily illness or disfunction, than having to see or to deal with parts of my dark side. (more like what I think my darkside is:)  And thats obviously very unhealthy.

 Ide rather spend lots of time in my head and ignore reality until shit hits the fan, (because I dont actually like my life) and than i do all the work I couldve done earlier. I  prefer staying allways in the same place. Sometimes I do believe evolving upgrading for me just isnt possible. I know I could maybe level up, but to me deep down even if i work hard at times and try, its not worth it to me. And I dont know why this is. And I dont know why but the song: I dont like mondays (tell me why) I dont like mondays keeps popping up in my headXD:) And I guess i have a lack of trust in life (particularly my own) Honestly all it has ever been to me is a struggle.  And Im just tired. I feel friction. Cause Im unable to create actual flow (I have no love in this way, no passion for my own life really, its all kinda vain, leading to nothing) And thats why i create chaos and friction. 

All, we sharpen our blade against the friction of a course stone, pain is a great teacher,  you do not forget lessons that includes pain.

The thorn of separation, along with the rose of having felt closeness. 

This is a good question for shadow work.... 

I'm staying the same in some ways toxic in order to not get more toxic. Because I fear change, things can change for the worse. We, I made too many dumb decisions in the past. And Im not forgiving myself. This way my life is kinda miserable. 

I don't take life for real, in order to get by. And feel ok. Because of this I make alot more mistakesXD

See.. The downward spiral? XD

I wish it would go like this:

I'm taking risks while taking life for real, living with intense emotions in order to maybe gain something and be prosperous. 

Pain of responsibility to get what I want In life

The pain that I'm having now, I feel like I chose for it to experience what I'm experiencing now 

I am willing to revisit painful memories of my life to heal. I am willing to save money and job search and work new places.

I am willing to be seen and misjudged if it helps in the long run.

I am open to sorting out my boundaries instead of reshattering my unhealed fragments by remaining in painful silence. 

I am willing to choose things that I believe are in my best interest, whether or not others follow suit. 

I am willing to delay my reflex to run away before trying to fix an upset with someone who I love. The long run will have less regrets. I have ran a lot in the past. I know what that gets me by now.

I am willing to allow others to hold their own opinions which may differ from my own.

I, like many of us, have experienced different types of pain. For example, pain of abandonment and rejection, of invalidation, of injustice, of betrayal, and pain of loss or grief. But, if I were to choose one, I'd choose the pain of loss or grief. It's the pain that has marked me the most, the pain that has allowed me to grow the most. To me, it is also a reminder that something was once had, and that I loved once.