By ISOLATING! Also ghosting because I have weak boundaries and can't deal with conflict.

My desire to withhold aspects of myself that I deem to be unflattering or in some way shameful means that I deliberately seek privacy when these parts of myself are showing and I think that this is the driving force of my isolation at this time

Being cynical, depressed and sarcastic. To have no hope and always a view and expectation of doom. Then blame my inferiority for it.

Ghosting! I only want to show how I want myself to be to other people but I am not there yet so.

I separate myself by either viewing people as below me or above me. I can't really see them as same as me.

Differences in emotions especially joy 

By focusing on people's flaws more than I focus on their talents and gifts

by being cruel and critical, holding onto resentment and anger towards the other, assuming that they don’t understand me or will not love me for who I am. showing only some parts of me, being a shape shifter, not being fully authentic, then blaming them that they don’t see me. basically anything I can to keep them away. 시발

I do not allow myself to be seen, therefore I feel very  isolated, alone.

I lose myself in my defensiveness 

By looking at my various parts and understanding them for the betterment of my existence.

I separate myself by not committing to anything. that way I can only be with myself and my misery

Viewing others as either dumber or much smarter and inherently more competent at navigating life than I am. Not trying to understand others.

Laying in bed, listening to music, or locking the door in the bathroom and praying that who I live with doesn't knock or shout unlock this door!! I have too many people emotionally dependent on me. Putting my phone on airplane mode or do not disturb. As a last resort going for a walk. 

Oh! I interpreted this as, how do I (need to) separate myself.  This shows (exactly) where I’m at….

Separate from what?

By hibernation 

I go against my own desires, self sabotage, abandon, doubt, harm even torture, I am too lazy to get out of my comfort zone often, expecting than manifesting the worst, playing and risking my life, repetition of same mistakes, self hate-blame, feeling ashamed.

I just don’t allow my self to love my self(s). Signed for self love challenge but didn’t even start with first day. Tried to follow what would someone who loves himself do, but never could stick with it....

good luck to all with healing, authenticity, and self love.

On 10/27/2020 at 1:43 PM, Suzanne Hatton said:

By ISOLATING! Also ghosting because I have weak boundaries and can't deal with conflict.

it s like you stole my answer! 

For me it is easy, my family doesn't come around and it is just my wife and child. My duaghter alli stays in a state of isolation,  she has autism she i comfortable there. My wife only talks about shallow things or goes polarized and talks of childhood trauma. The shallow thing get tuned out, the sad thing is that the deep things are starting to get tuned out also. We have been over and over these things , i am at a point where i know i cannot help.

This is like what I do 24/7 separating myself. 

I never belonged anywhere, not as a child, not as a teen, not as an adult. 

Things that happened around my pregnancy and birth, and after birth, made me even feel like I don't even belong with my child. (and I'm very angry about it)

I hurt myself and others, in order to be shure of my isolation, isolation both physical and spiritual. 

I cannot be healed

I am my own bully, every move I make, every step I take... 

Is followed by a catastrophizing voice inside my head. 

(who is actually my mom, not me)

By telling myself I am the bad guy. And if that's not enough, than Ile be the bad guy. 

I found a core believe/emotion of mine when it comes to this. I have this in common with a bipolar schizophrenic friend of mine.

I am not worthy of an actual (authentic) relationship. I'm not worthy of actual intimacy and belonging. (I'm simply not worthy of relationships) 

And just fear. 

I found this interesting cause I deem myself as unworthy. 

And I don't know why, it's just simply there, and this is who I am and who I have become. 

I believe I never had any actual real relationships ever in my entire life, also not in childhood. 

Adults use children for many things. (and children serve adults many times, not because it's what they truly want, but because their needs beeing met and survival and basically everything is at the mercy of adults) some children are basically unwanted, unappreciated and not allowed to be themselves, and get their wires crossed. 

And as far as I can remember children turn on eachother the way they have learned it from their parents. (this is why some children appear to be racist)

And I felt alienated my entire life. 

Now I've birthed a child this year, and I thought this would change my life. 

The problem is, the whole pregnancy and also when I gave birth, also the time after, was all trash. I can little positive about it. 

And it as one can guess didn't go the way I hoped. And I feel like things got worse. And totally over strained. And like it's all over. Like I'm done. Nothings ever going to be ok ever again. I'm never going to find happiness. 

I separate myself by not making conversation with other people. I separate myself from my family. I separate myself by not finding, and maintaining friendships and genuine connections. I separate myself by not participating in the community, for example, I separate myself from-getting a job, finding a therapist, finding a primary care doctor, calling the dentist.