Ask Yourself...

The actions of my wife. I am working on that.

People emotional capacity and understanding.

I just don't complain anymore

This vile, cutthroat, atrocious, horrid, brutal, abhorrent field. 

How im so flawed and no good for anyone and can't change, cause I'm so flawed XD (so redicolousXD) this is part of my codependent programming. Cinderellas stepmom is nicer than my mom. She used to abuse me physically, and tell me how I am trash, everyday. Everyday she told me I'm like my violent father, and I'm like my schizophrenic aunt (who molested my mother) 

I'm the bad guy in my family:) (because my mom likes to have it that way, so she can stay the good guy, and still be an asshole) now I actually turned kinda evilish and somewhat psychotic. Beeing the bad guy. Just beeing born evil (this is what I was told throughout my childhood, everyday) 

It now very well serves me as a cop out. And I don't know why am I like this, maybe I also want some kind of revenge?

This is how you pretend to be miserable because of your mistakes and avoid change and avoid taking responsibility:)

I'm like a bird, I lonely fly away...

I don't know where my home is, 

I don't know where my soul is. 

I'm like a bird.... 

La la laXD 🙈🙉🙊

I complain about everything. 

Mostly institutions how nothing in this world is actually good for us and how this world is fucked up. 

About overly strict people (who believe in this world) 

My family

My life

My past

Myself. 

I think if I wouldn't intrinsically hate myself so much (Ide stop caring about all those other things that bothers me and live my best life) 

And maybe Ide stop hating myself if I just knew how to, or suddenly grew the guts to change and stop beeing an asshole. But I'm so gone, Im to afraid and resistant to even look at this a little bit closer. It's like a very very clear: No. (all parts or most of them on the same page with this one) 

And yes, I don't believe in myself. (stopped believing in myself a long time ago)

What do I complain about more than anything else?

I don't want to commit to a job or employer. I'm worried I have to though since it's the only way I'm 100% sure money comes in. Eventhough I can think of making money in other ways than being employed I hesitate investing my time, focus and energy on it. I'm afraid I'm not prepared, trained and good enough. I'm scared I'd ignore my boundaries and that my health would be at risk. I'm scared of pregnancy and violance. I cling to predictability.

Narcissism 

My father being abusive. That kinda gives me an excuse to stay passive 

I complain a lot about not knowing what I want for sure. I also complain a lot about things not working as they should, such as a computer application or something that can be a similar stressor.

That nobody is never there for me. That I am alone. And about having to do everything by myself. Take care of myself. 

I complain more than anything else of wanting to change my circumstances but not being able to because it’s a failure of myself to not do it. 

Me not changing 

What do I complain about most?

The incompetence of others...

My stuckness, and my lack of courage to do anything about it. Also, the fact that I have to do things I don't like to get to a place I want to be. Frustrating AF.